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Old 02-08-2002, 10:07 AM   #1
Garnet FalconDance
Mephistopheles
 

Join Date: August 30, 2001
Location: deep within the sylvan splendor....
Age: 60
Posts: 1,443
Laundry Rules

1. Pajamas - Do not put pajamas in the dirty clothes after only one
wear. It is a scientific fact that you do not get dirty while you sleep. Pajamas can be worn many times before they smell bad enough to warrant being thrown in the dirty clothes. Exception: You may put pajamas in the dirty clothes if you throw up on them or something else that may be deemed disgusting, but only if they stink.

2. Socks - Unroll your socks before putting them in the dirty clothes.
Otherwise, I will start washing and drying them in their original
rolled up little balls. Special note: Unroll socks before throwing them down the laundry chute. If you don't, the law of physics causes them to bounce off the washer and land behind the washer or drying, and Mom is getting too old to crawl back there and fish them out.

3. Clothes Hung Up - Clean clothes can be easily removed from the
clothes bar by gently lifting up on the hanger and pulling towards you. The clean item can now be removed from the hanger for wearing. The wrong way to remove clean clothes is to YANK on one corner of the garment. This causes the hanger to go flying around the clothes bar, scratching the wall and becoming impossibly entangled with the neighboring hangers. Special note: This makes Mom want to choke children. So far, she has been able to refrain from this action.

4. Dirty Clothes Rule - If you have made the decision to put something
in the dirty clothes, do not later decide that you, for some reason, now need to retrieve it by digging through the clothes baskets, leaving behind a mess that looks like a small tornado whipped through the laundry room, leaving a scene of devastation in its wake. Special note: The only thing worse than having to put stinking clothes in the laundry baskets is having to do it over and over and over.

5. Pockets - Check your own pockets before you put dirty items
(again, make sure they are dirty first) in the laundry room. Have you ever tried to pick tiny pieces of white paper off an entire load of dark clothes? No? I thought not! But the next time this occurs, you will have the pleasure of this experience. Special note: In the future, all money found in pockets becomes the property of the laundry-doer, and that most assuredly will be Mom, who hopes to be able to save up for a Caribbean cruise, which she will go on alone. She has heard that you don't have to do laundry while you
are on a cruise!

6. Folded Clothes Rule - When those clean clothes miraculously appear
on your bed or chair, graciously thank the saintly person who lovingly
placed them there and PUT THEM AWAY! Special note: Failure to do this in the future will result in a generous contribution to the Goodwill.

7. General Dirty Clothes Rule - If they aren't dirty, why the heck are
they in the laundry room? Put them back in your closet or drawers. When you decide to try something on and decide that it will not make the fashion statement you were looking for that particular day, think twice before you make that conscious decision that it is easier to throw the item in the dirty clothes rather than hanging it back up. Again, the Goodwill would love to have these items, as their fashion standards must not be as high as yours.

8. Laundry Sharing - In the future, each of you will be required to do
one load of laundry a week. Instructions will be provided. Mom feels that the joy of this household chore should be shared, and she has been very selfish about this in the past. She also feels that this is a necessary life skill, and without it, you may not ever want to leave home. This would not be in the best interest of your parents.

Note - Rules may be added or modified at any time by Mom.

I, (sign your name) _______________________________________ agree to
abide by the above rules, as I actually have no choice in the matter and do not wish to further anger my mother. Date:______________
__________________
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Old 02-08-2002, 10:13 AM   #2
*\Conan/*
Red Dragon
 

Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Virginia, USA
Age: 62
Posts: 1,512
quote:
Originally posted by Garnet FalconDance:
Laundry Rules

1. Pajamas - Do not put pajamas in the dirty clothes after only one
wear. It is a scientific fact that you do not get dirty while you sleep. Pajamas can be worn many times before they smell bad enough to warrant being thrown in the dirty clothes. Exception: You may put pajamas in the dirty clothes if you throw up on them or something else that may be deemed disgusting, but only if they stink.

2. Socks - Unroll your socks before putting them in the dirty clothes.
Otherwise, I will start washing and drying them in their original
rolled up little balls. Special note: Unroll socks before throwing them down the laundry chute. If you don't, the law of physics causes them to bounce off the washer and land behind the washer or drying, and Mom is getting too old to crawl back there and fish them out.

3. Clothes Hung Up - Clean clothes can be easily removed from the
clothes bar by gently lifting up on the hanger and pulling towards you. The clean item can now be removed from the hanger for wearing. The wrong way to remove clean clothes is to YANK on one corner of the garment. This causes the hanger to go flying around the clothes bar, scratching the wall and becoming impossibly entangled with the neighboring hangers. Special note: This makes Mom want to choke children. So far, she has been able to refrain from this action.

4. Dirty Clothes Rule - If you have made the decision to put something
in the dirty clothes, do not later decide that you, for some reason, now need to retrieve it by digging through the clothes baskets, leaving behind a mess that looks like a small tornado whipped through the laundry room, leaving a scene of devastation in its wake. Special note: The only thing worse than having to put stinking clothes in the laundry baskets is having to do it over and over and over.

5. Pockets - Check your own pockets before you put dirty items
(again, make sure they are dirty first) in the laundry room. Have you ever tried to pick tiny pieces of white paper off an entire load of dark clothes? No? I thought not! But the next time this occurs, you will have the pleasure of this experience. Special note: In the future, all money found in pockets becomes the property of the laundry-doer, and that most assuredly will be Mom, who hopes to be able to save up for a Caribbean cruise, which she will go on alone. She has heard that you don't have to do laundry while you
are on a cruise!

6. Folded Clothes Rule - When those clean clothes miraculously appear
on your bed or chair, graciously thank the saintly person who lovingly
placed them there and PUT THEM AWAY! Special note: Failure to do this in the future will result in a generous contribution to the Goodwill.

7. General Dirty Clothes Rule - If they aren't dirty, why the heck are
they in the laundry room? Put them back in your closet or drawers. When you decide to try something on and decide that it will not make the fashion statement you were looking for that particular day, think twice before you make that conscious decision that it is easier to throw the item in the dirty clothes rather than hanging it back up. Again, the Goodwill would love to have these items, as their fashion standards must not be as high as yours.

8. Laundry Sharing - In the future, each of you will be required to do
one load of laundry a week. Instructions will be provided. Mom feels that the joy of this household chore should be shared, and she has been very selfish about this in the past. She also feels that this is a necessary life skill, and without it, you may not ever want to leave home. This would not be in the best interest of your parents.

Note - Rules may be added or modified at any time by Mom.

I, (sign your name) __*\Conan/*___________________________________ agree to
abide by the above rules, as I actually have no choice in the matter and do not wish to further anger my mother. Date:_2/8/02_____________

__________________
*\\Conan/*
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Old 02-08-2002, 10:37 AM   #3
Sazerac
Ironworks Moderator
 

Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Monroe, LA
Age: 60
Posts: 7,387
I hope every family has a copy of these rules in their laundry room! Needs to be said! Funny, but important too!

Thanks, Garnet!

I must admit, I was amused by the quaint notion of "pajamas". I think I last used pajamas when I was like, oh, 12? [img]graemlins/laugh2.gif[/img] I didn't realize people over 12 or under 70 still used them!

Also, one more to add to the list: The dryer is NOT a storage device. Once your clothes are dried, please remove them and fold them. Otherwise they will be considered to be rather interesting formations of moulded lint and be disposed of accordingly. [img]smile.gif[/img]

Cheers,
-Saz

[ 02-08-2002: Message edited by: Sazerac ]

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Old 02-08-2002, 05:41 PM   #4
Cerek the Barbaric
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
 

Join Date: October 29, 2001
Location: North Carolina
Age: 61
Posts: 3,257
Garnet,

Those were hilarious!! (can somebody help a barbarian up off the floor...my sides hurt)

I was guilty of most of those when I lived at home. I would come in from school and put my clothes in the hamper, put on clean clothes and go back to town. Come home from town, put THAT set of clothes in the hamper and pull a third set to wear to school the next day.

It used to drive my mom crazy. Then I went away to school.....it's absolutely AMAZING HOW MUCH LONGER clothes stay clean when you do the laundry yourself. I would wear the same pair of blue jeans for one week, unless I was run over by a Mud Truck.

SideNote to Septfox and Cloudkitten
If you actually take the initiative and do a load of laundry on your own, you won't beleive the mood change that comes over mom, and you will be most pleasantly surprised at the reward system for such an action. Just something to think about.
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Old 02-08-2002, 06:10 PM   #5
Scholarcs
Red Dragon
 

Join Date: December 5, 2001
Location: Auckland, New Zealand
Age: 38
Posts: 1,557
Oh no! Hide it from my mother!
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Old 02-08-2002, 06:22 PM   #6
Garnet FalconDance
Mephistopheles
 

Join Date: August 30, 2001
Location: deep within the sylvan splendor....
Age: 60
Posts: 1,443
Saz, I wear pajamas, thank you---first thing in the morning when the kids are getting up [img]graemlins/blueblink.gif[/img] . But that's about it!

Cerek, there's a basic rule in this house. If you bring your clothes downstairs, mom will sort, wash, dry and even fold them for you. HOWEVER, clothes (*especially* socks!) which are turned inside out do not get washed until their contrary state is cleared to the satisfaction of the establishment. Ask Agility--he's the worst offender of the wrong-side out socks!

And CloudKitten ususally does do her own wash. Has this thing about other people touching her undies ......
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