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Old 02-26-2004, 07:53 AM   #11
InjaYew
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Join Date: December 31, 2003
Location: SE Tornado Belt
Age: 63
Posts: 341
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve ropes here. You ain't a rope er ya?"

The rope leans over, ties a knot in his head and fluffs out the ends and sez...

"Nope. Frayed Knot." [img]graemlins/verysad.gif[/img]

(Sometimes the really bad ones just stick with ya. :\ )
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Old 02-26-2004, 08:15 AM   #12
RoSs_bg2_rox
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Join Date: May 20, 2003
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Age: 34
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one liners? Honestly InjaYew, get with the times
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Old 02-26-2004, 09:02 PM   #13
InjaYew
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Moi? Behind the times?

Just for that...

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."

The bartender says, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."



Beware. I am armed with bad jokes and I'm not afraid to use 'em!
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Old 02-26-2004, 09:25 PM   #14
Bungleau
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Join Date: October 29, 2001
Location: Western Wilds of Michigan
Posts: 11,752
Not a one-liner, but...

Guy walks into a bar on a Saturday night and orders three beers. He drinks them and orders three more.

"Why're you drinking three at a time?" asks the bartender.

"One for me and one for both of my brothers," replies the man. "They're back in Ireland and I don't get to see them much."

This repeats every Saturday for six months until the man comes in and orders two beers.

"I'm sorry to hear about your loss," says the bartender.

"What?" asks the man. "Oh, no, my brothers are fine. I've just given up drinking."
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Old 02-27-2004, 06:12 AM   #15
Jorath Calar
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Join Date: October 6, 2001
Location: Iceland
Posts: 4,706
A baby seal walks into a club....

[img]smile.gif[/img]
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Old 02-27-2004, 09:36 AM   #16
RoSs_bg2_rox
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Join Date: May 20, 2003
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Age: 34
Posts: 5,225
lol Jorath!
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Old 02-27-2004, 11:36 AM   #17
Illumina Drathiran'ar
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Join Date: July 10, 2002
Location: I can see the Manhattan skyline from my window.
Age: 38
Posts: 4,673
A hobo runs into a bar and up to the counter. He says, "Hurry, hurry! Give me a shot of your most expensive whiskey!" So the bartender complies. He gulps it down.
"Another, another, quick, before it starts!"
Bartender serves him again.
"Hurry! Quickly! It'll start soon!"
The bartender thinks this is sort of strange, but plays along.
"More! More! It'll start any moment now!"
So the bartender pours it, and asks, "Say, just how are you going to pay for all that whiskey?"
"It's started..."
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Old 02-27-2004, 12:52 PM   #18
Kakero
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Join Date: March 24, 2002
Posts: 10,215
That's a long one liner LOL.
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Old 02-27-2004, 05:29 PM   #19
quietman1920
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Join Date: January 6, 2003
Location: NJ, USA
Age: 24
Posts: 550
Celine Dione walks into a bar, and the barman asks, "What's with the long face, Celine?"
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Old 02-28-2004, 12:17 AM   #20
Arledrian
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Join Date: July 12, 2001
Location: South Carolina
Age: 40
Posts: 3,771
ROFL Quietman.
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