Yes Matilda another lawyer joke..

Arvon · 03-07-2002, 03:43 PM

Cigar Trick

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was saying to his lawyer, "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined."

"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.

"Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?" asked the defendant.

"Oh no!" said the lawyer. "This judge is a stickler for ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even find you in contempt of the court. In fact, you shouldn't even smile at the judge."

Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked."

"I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them," said the lawyer.

"But I did send them," said the defendant.

"What?? You did?"

"Yes, That's how we won the case."

"I don't understand," said the lawyer.

"It's easy. I sent the cheapest cigars that I could find to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff's business card..."

Beaumanoir · 03-07-2002, 03:47 PM

ROFLMAO!!! Thats A Really Good One Arvon! You Should Copy And Paste All These On To A Word File And Release: Arvons Bumper Book Of Jokes

Scholarcs · 03-08-2002, 06:08 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Beaumanoir:
ROFLMAO!!! Thats A Really Good One Arvon! You Should Copy And Paste All These On To A Word File And Release: Arvons Bumper Book Of Jokes

Now that is a really good idea!

/)eathKiller · 03-09-2002, 11:59 AM

that's wiked...

Neb · 03-09-2002, 12:21 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Beaumanoir:
ROFLMAO!!! Thats A Really Good One Arvon! You Should Copy And Paste All These On To A Word File And Release: Arvons Bumper Book Of Jokes

Oooooh! Cool idea Beau! [img]smile.gif[/img] Heh, if Arvon copied all of the jokes he'd ever posted on IW into a single Word file I think it'd be HUGE, but fun as well.... Heh, I think it would be dangerous to read, can you die from laughter?

Beaumanoir · 03-09-2002, 02:12 PM

Hmmm, It Would be Too Big. He'd Have To Release It In 3 Books Like LOTR! AND It Would Just Get BIGGER AND BIGGER!!!

It Would Take A Few Days To Read. Like A Novel

03-07-2002, 03:43 PM	#1
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	Cigar Trick A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was saying to his lawyer, "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined." "It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer. "Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?" asked the defendant. "Oh no!" said the lawyer. "This judge is a stickler for ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even find you in contempt of the court. In fact, you shouldn't even smile at the judge." Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It worked." "I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them," said the lawyer. "But I did send them," said the defendant. "What?? You did?" "Yes, That's how we won the case." "I don't understand," said the lawyer. "It's easy. I sent the cheapest cigars that I could find to the judge, but enclosed the plaintiff's business card..." __________________ 53.7% of all statistics are made up

03-07-2002, 03:47 PM	#2
Beaumanoir Iron Throne Cult Join Date: June 3, 2001 Location: There is no IRL, Only AFK. Age: 35 Posts: 4,896	ROFLMAO!!! Thats A Really Good One Arvon! You Should Copy And Paste All These On To A Word File And Release: Arvons Bumper Book Of Jokes __________________ My pokemon bring all the boys to the yard, and they're like; you wanna trade cards? Damn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my Charizard.

03-08-2002, 06:08 PM	#3
Scholarcs Red Dragon Join Date: December 5, 2001 Location: Auckland, New Zealand Age: 38 Posts: 1,557	quote: Originally posted by Beaumanoir: ROFLMAO!!! Thats A Really Good One Arvon! You Should Copy And Paste All These On To A Word File And Release: Arvons Bumper Book Of Jokes Now that is a really good idea! __________________ <br />\"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five\" - Groucho Marx<br />Member of the ORT Clan. <br />\"Some birds are not meant to be caged because their feathers are too bright\"<br />Ma bouche sera la bouche des malheurs qui n\'ont point de bouche, ma voix, la liberté de celles qui s\'affaissent au cachot du désespoir. - Aimé Césaire<br />La plus perdue de toutes les journées est celle où l\'on n\'a pas ri. - Sébastien Roch Nicolas

03-09-2002, 11:59 AM	#4
/)eathKiller Dracolisk Join Date: January 5, 2002 Location: Guantanamo Bay, Cuba Age: 38 Posts: 6,043	that's wiked... __________________ [img]\"http://membres.lycos.fr/th8or/ZeroSigForIronworks.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> o.o;

03-09-2002, 12:21 PM	#5
Neb Account deleted by Request Join Date: May 17, 2001 Location: . Age: 38 Posts: 8,802	quote: Originally posted by Beaumanoir: ROFLMAO!!! Thats A Really Good One Arvon! You Should Copy And Paste All These On To A Word File And Release: Arvons Bumper Book Of Jokes Oooooh! Cool idea Beau! [img]smile.gif[/img] Heh, if Arvon copied all of the jokes he'd ever posted on IW into a single Word file I think it'd be HUGE, but fun as well.... Heh, I think it would be dangerous to read, can you die from laughter?

03-09-2002, 02:12 PM	#6
Beaumanoir Iron Throne Cult Join Date: June 3, 2001 Location: There is no IRL, Only AFK. Age: 35 Posts: 4,896	Hmmm, It Would be Too Big. He'd Have To Release It In 3 Books Like LOTR! AND It Would Just Get BIGGER AND BIGGER!!! It Would Take A Few Days To Read. Like A Novel __________________ My pokemon bring all the boys to the yard, and they're like; you wanna trade cards? Damn right, I wanna trade cards, I'll trade this but not my Charizard.

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