Hilarious flight logs

[wellard]

Originally posted by Vaskez: P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed

This is true.

About 6 months ago we had a report in the tech log on a 767 that there where noises like a mouse or rat from above in the pilots CB (circuit breaker) panel. I had to drop the panels down and fit several mousetraps. They are a poison bait on an extremely strong glue surround. The poison weakens the animal enough for the glue to be effective.

Joking aside the potential damage a mouse or rat can do to the wiring is a worry. That plane was grounded for a day, sealed up, till we where confident that there were no more animals

[Vaskez]

Ah it's great to have our very own LAME here to put the "jokes" into context
So what does it feel like being LAME, wellard?

[ 01-21-2004, 10:07 AM: Message edited by: Vaskez ]

[wellard]

Originally posted by Vaskez: Ah it's great to have our very own LAME here to put the "jokes" into context So what does it feel like being LAME, wellard?

[img]graemlins/troutslap.gif[/img] for Vaskez

Hey whatsup with a job description acronym like LAME [img]graemlins/1puke.gif[/img]

grumble, mutter, curse, [img]graemlins/heee.gif[/img]

[ 01-21-2004, 06:28 PM: Message edited by: wellard ]

[InjaYew]

P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

[Dalamar Stormcrow]

The German controllers at Frankfurt Airport were a short tempered lot, they not only expected you to know your parking location but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground and a British Airways 747 (Speedbird)

Speedbird: "Good morning Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of the active."

Ground: "Guten morgan, taxi to your gate.

The BA 747 pulls onto the main taxiway and stops.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?!"

Speedbird: "Standby ground, I'm looking up the gate location now.

Ground (with typical German patience): "Speedbird, have you never been to Frankfurt before?!"

Speedbird (coolly): "Yes, in 1944, but I didn't stop."

HAHAHAHAHAHa

[Dalamar Stormcrow]

The 33 Greatest Lies in Aviation..

1. I'm from the FAA and I'm here to help you.

2. Me? I've never busted minimum’s.

3. We will be on time, maybe even early.

4. Pardon me, ma'am, I seem to have lost my jet keys.

5. I have no interest in flying for the airlines.

6. I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons.

7. All that turbulence spoiled my landing.

8. I'm a member of the mile high club.

9. I only need glasses for reading.

10. I broke out right at minimum’s.

11. The weather is gonna be alright; it's clearing to VFR.

12. Don't worry about the weight and balance -- it'll fly.

13. If we get a little lower I think we'll see the lights.

14. I'm 22, got 6000 hours, a four year degree and 3000 hours in a Lear.

15. We shipped the part yesterday.

16. I'd love to have a woman co-pilot.

17. All you have to do is follow the book.

18. This plane outperforms the book by 20 percent.

19. We in aviation are overpaid, underworked and well respected.

20. Oh sure, no problem, I've got over 2000 hours in that aircraft.

21. I have 5000 hours total time, 3200 are actual instrument.

22. No need to look that up, I've got it all memorised.

23. Sure I can fly it -- it has wings, doesn't it?

24. We'll be home by lunchtime.

25. Your plane will be ready by 2 o'clock.

26. I'm always glad to see the FAA.

27. We fly every day -- we don't need recurrent training.

28. It just came out of annual -- how could anything be wrong?

29. I thought YOU took care of that.

30. I've got the field in sight.

31. I've got the traffic in sight.

32. Of course I know where we are.

33. I'm SURE the gear was down.

[Sagramore]

Originally posted by Vaskez: P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed.

LoL! What a knee-slapper! They were all very funny but this one made me laugh the hardest! These gave me one of the best laughs i've had in a while...thanks! [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Bahamut]

yeah this was great... and to think it really happened...

and is this the only major airline that hasn't had an accident yet??? whoa

[Intrepid]

Originally posted by Bahamut: yeah this was great... and to think it really happened... and is this the only major airline that hasn't had an accident yet??? whoa

Yep Quantas is the only (major) one, although i think Singapore airlines is the closest but they had an accident in the last few years though. Also by major i mean like serious damage etc, as there have been minor incidents like those rubber emergency slides inflating in flight into the cabin etc, but nothing major.

[Bahamut]

wow.. pretty impressive in my opinion...

but do you guys prefer to ride other airlines?