God I wish I'd have thought of this (long)

Arvon · 10-17-2003, 07:16 AM

Telephone Solicitation Gone Bad

I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang.

ME: Hello.

AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T ...

ME: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

ME: This is AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

ME: Is this AT&T?

AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr.Byron, please?

ME: May I ask who is calling?

AT&T: This is AT&T.

ME: Ok, hold on.

At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.

ME: Hello?

AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?

ME: May I ask who is calling, ! please?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

ME: This is AT&T?

AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ...

ME: The phone company?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

ME: I tho! ught you said this was AT&T.

AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company.

ME: I already have a phone.

AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?

AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!

ME: 7 days a week?

AT&T: That's right.

ME: 365 days a year?

AT&T: Yes, sir.

ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! ! That's amazing!

AT&T: We think so!

ME: That's quite a sum of money!

AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.

ME: Ok, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?

AT&! ;T: Excuse me?

ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute.

AT&T: What are you talking about?

ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.

AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.

ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme?I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.

AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for ...

ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?

AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is nece! ssary.

ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!

AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.

At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.

SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron?

ME: Yeth?

SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.

ME: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth?

SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is.

ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.

SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.

ME: Thank you.

I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.

AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan?

ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family"
thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...

AT&T: click........

philip · 10-17-2003, 08:46 AM

ROFL, that's just too funny

Zuvio · 10-17-2003, 10:00 AM

Lovely!

My personal reply whenever they ask me if they can ask me a question is: "You just did scumbag! [img]tongue.gif[/img] " Really ticks them off.....

Stormymystic · 10-17-2003, 11:12 AM

you should have posted awarning...do not read while drinking hot coffee [img]tongue.gif[/img]

I choked, should have done that yesterday with the newspaper

[ 10-17-2003, 11:13 AM: Message edited by: Stormymystic ]

Xen · 10-17-2003, 03:34 PM

LOL!

I must confess that I was getting a little tired from whole AT&T thingy...where DO you get this funny stuff?....I wonder...

T/-/alali · 10-17-2003, 06:36 PM

LOL. When a telemarketer calls my house I start asking if they want to buy cookies. [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Sir Goulum · 10-18-2003, 06:04 PM

LOL! I will so do that if I answer the phone and AT&T or someones there [img]tongue.gif[/img]

Lord · 10-18-2003, 06:15 PM

LOL!!!
What I usually do is ask them if they will support my telephone company, and then they hang up on me, so I don't have to be the one hanging up on them! [img]graemlins/3laugh.gif[/img]

10-19-2003, 02:16 AM

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH AHAHA!!!!!! O my goodness! Best laugh ever. Dude, you should have an online jokesite. I also do the same thing when a get a telemarketer: give them the run-around. [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

The Fallen One · 02-14-2004, 03:57 PM

Arvon , did u really do that?? ITS HILARUOUS!!

10-17-2003, 07:16 AM	#1
Arvon Unicorn Join Date: October 4, 2001 Location: Kingdom of the West,..P.o. Cynagus Posts: 4,212	Telephone Solicitation Gone Bad I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang. ME: Hello. AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T ... ME: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ... ME: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ... ME: Is this AT&T? AT&T: Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr.Byron, please? ME: May I ask who is calling? AT&T: This is AT&T. ME: Ok, hold on. At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting. ME: Hello? AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron? ME: May I ask who is calling, ! please? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ... ME: This is AT&T? AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T ... ME: The phone company? AT&T: Yes, sir. ME: I tho! ught you said this was AT&T. AT&T: Yes, sir, we are a phone company. ME: I already have a phone. AT&T: We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. ME: Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day? AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day! ME: 7 days a week? AT&T: That's right. ME: 365 days a year? AT&T: Yes, sir. ME: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! ! That's amazing! AT&T: We think so! ME: That's quite a sum of money! AT&T: Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up. ME: Ok, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance? AT&! ;T: Excuse me? ME: You know, the 10 cents a minute. AT&T: What are you talking about? ME: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment. AT&T: Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute. ME: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme?I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know. AT&T: No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for ... ME: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please? AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is nece! ssary. ME: I insist on speaking to a supervisor! AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold. At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner. SUPERVISOR: Mr. Byron? ME: Yeth? SUPERVISOR: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program. ME: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth? SUPERVISOR: Yes, sir, it sure is. ME: (I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan. SUPERVISOR: Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you. ME: Thank you. I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone. AT&T: Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan? ME: No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family" thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother... AT&T: click........ __________________ 53.7% of all statistics are made up

10-17-2003, 10:00 AM	#3
Zuvio Gold Dragon Join Date: May 19, 2002 Location: Blessed are those who are not.... Age: 42 Posts: 2,556	Lovely! My personal reply whenever they ask me if they can ask me a question is: "You just did scumbag! [img]tongue.gif[/img] " Really ticks them off..... __________________ [img]\"http://img121.exs.cx/img121/4236/zuviodemonnoname2hf.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

10-17-2003, 11:12 AM	#4
Stormymystic Knight of the Rose Join Date: April 8, 2003 Location: Arkansas Age: 48 Posts: 4,442	you should have posted awarning...do not read while drinking hot coffee [img]tongue.gif[/img] I choked, should have done that yesterday with the newspaper [ 10-17-2003, 11:13 AM: Message edited by: Stormymystic ] __________________ [url]\"http://stormymystic.deviantart.com/gallery/\" target=\"_blank\"> [img]\"http://img92.imageshack.us/img92/3968/stormyvx6.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /></a>

10-17-2003, 06:36 PM	#6
T/-/alali Baaz Draconian Join Date: September 8, 2002 Location: Cornelius,NC Age: 36 Posts: 700	LOL. When a telemarketer calls my house I start asking if they want to buy cookies. [img]tongue.gif[/img] __________________ I am the Ferret king, master of the hordes, allied to Someguy\'s mighty pinguins, we will soon rule the world!

10-18-2003, 06:15 PM	#8
Lord Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: June 3, 2003 Location: New York Age: 39 Posts: 3,302	LOL!!! What I usually do is ask them if they will support my telephone company, and then they hang up on me, so I don't have to be the one hanging up on them! [img]graemlins/3laugh.gif[/img] __________________ "You're a thief and a liar." "No, I only lied about being a thief."

10-17-2003, 08:46 AM	#2
philip Galvatron Join Date: June 24, 2002 Location: aa Posts: 2,101	ROFL, that's just too funny

10-17-2003, 03:34 PM	#5
Xen Symbol of Moradin Join Date: June 5, 2002 Location: Slovenia,Ljubljana Age: 36 Posts: 8,554	LOL! I must confess that I was getting a little tired from whole AT&T thingy...where DO you get this funny stuff?....I wonder...

10-18-2003, 06:04 PM	#7
Sir Goulum John Locke Join Date: February 7, 2002 Location: Edmonton, Canada Age: 35 Posts: 8,985	LOL! I will so do that if I answer the phone and AT&T or someones there [img]tongue.gif[/img]

10-19-2003, 02:16 AM	#9
GForce Guest Posts: n/a	HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH AHAHA!!!!!! O my goodness! Best laugh ever. Dude, you should have an online jokesite. I also do the same thing when a get a telemarketer: give them the run-around. [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

02-14-2004, 03:57 PM	#10
The Fallen One Elminster Join Date: September 25, 2003 Location: In The Darkness... Age: 37 Posts: 442	Arvon , did u really do that?? ITS HILARUOUS!! __________________ [img]\"http://ox.wit.edu/~pokharela/exermv4.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /><br />--------------------<br /> [img]\"http://ox.wit.edu/~pokharela/kana.gif\" alt=\" - \" />

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