"Nah, women are just uncomfortable with your assertions that magic should exist, and your love of unicorns. Of course I count those among your good qualities."

06-15-2001, 11:58 AM

Just some funnies that showed up in my e-mail:

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2
item that she doesn't need. (I love it how women "save money"!)

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never
worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more
willing to die.

MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people
remembering the same thing.

APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow
deteriorate during the night. (uh...not in this house!)

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man
marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. (Or, the other way around, depending on whose point of view you are looking at it from!)

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after
that is the beginning of a new argument.

COMPREHENSION
There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before
marriage and after marriage. (Why should they try?! We're always right anyway!)

Moni

------------------

[This message has been edited by Moni (edited 06-15-2001).]

06-15-2001, 12:04 PM

If Men Raised The Kids

Moni

------------------

Charean · 06-15-2001, 12:30 PM

Moni... that was WAY funny!!!

Loved the giggles!! Thanks!

------------------

Defender for the Light -
Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!?
Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva
And so, in the way of life, one must perservere in the face of adversity (or in this case, the face of a fluffy) and continue on the quest so bring truth, justice and the feng shui way to the world (or at least, make my truck look nice!)
And if you are still reading, I am taking suggestions for my next installment...

06-15-2001, 12:42 PM

Thanks Moni that made me laugh. It is a miserable day here. This topic has cheered me up. Even she could not cheer me up

------------------
By Clanggedin. What does a Dwarf have to do to get a drink around here.

http://www.angelfire.com/rpg/evermeet

DawnChaser · 06-15-2001, 12:48 PM

Well, now I know why I haven't yet married. I couldn't do the math!

Thanks for the funnies, Moni! Here is one I just received...

--------------
Michael Jordan, after living a full life, went to heaven. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Chicago Bulls flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, Michael," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."

Michael felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a brilliant White, Purple, and Gold sidewalk, a 50 ft. tall flagpole flying an enormous Los Angeles Lakers flag, and in every window a Lakers logo.

Michael looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question: I won six NBA Championships, more awards than I can remember and am the greatest player of all time."

God said "So what do you want to know, Michael?" "Well, why does Shaq get a better house than me?"

God chuckled and said "Michael, that's not Shaq's house, .......it's mine."
---------------

"Nah, women are just uncomfortable with your assertions that magic should exist, and your love of unicorns. Of course I count those among your good qualities."

------------------

[This message has been edited by DawnChaser (edited 06-15-2001).]

Sazerac · 06-15-2001, 12:51 PM

I must be danged lucky.

Throntar · 06-15-2001, 01:07 PM

Good stuff Moni. Keep it comin'. I can always use a good laugh...

------------------

Now where did I leave that doughnut?!

Moiraine · 06-15-2001, 01:18 PM

Mono, ô wise one, maybe you will be able to answer this : Is love a matter of looking each other into the eyes, or is it both looking in the same direction ? 'Cause managing both seems kinda difficult ...

------------------

The world is my oyster !
And now I have the knives to open it ...

Ramon de Ramon y Ramon · 06-15-2001, 01:55 PM

Moiraine, you are still around ! Thanks, you just made my day just by "showing up" !

------------------
So long !

R³ - new, much improved signature under construction !

Ramon de Ramon y Ramon · 06-15-2001, 01:59 PM

Downchaser, you have shocked my horribly ! You really mean to tell me that MJ is NOT god, but just a mere mortal ? Oh no ...

------------------
So long !

R³ - new, much improved signature under construction !

[This message has been edited by Ramon de Ramon y Ramon (edited 06-15-2001).]

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06-15-2001, 11:58 AM	#1
Moni Guest Posts: n/a	Just some funnies that showed up in my e-mail: ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. (I love it how women "save money"!) GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. HAPPINESS To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. LONGEVITY Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. MEMORY Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. APPEARANCE Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night. *(uh...not in this* house!) PROPENSITY TO CHANGE A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does. (Or, the other way around, depending on whose point of view you are looking at it from!) DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. COMPREHENSION There are 2 times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage. (Why should they try?! We're always right anyway!)** Moni ------------------ [This message has been edited by Moni (edited 06-15-2001).]

06-15-2001, 12:04 PM	#2
Moni Guest Posts: n/a	If Men Raised The Kids Moni ------------------

06-15-2001, 12:30 PM	#3
Charean Hathor Join Date: March 6, 2001 Location: Waxahachie, TX Age: 60 Posts: 2,201	Moni... that was WAY funny!!! Loved the giggles!! Thanks! ------------------ Defender for the Light - Goodness knows there is a lot of Dark out there!! - Where are my matches?!? Wandering Soul - Finding my life's calling is Bodhisattva And so, in the way of life, one must perservere in the face of adversity (or in this case, the face of a fluffy) and continue on the quest so bring truth, justice and the feng shui way to the world (or at least, make my truck look nice!) And if you are still reading, I am taking suggestions for my next installment...

06-15-2001, 12:42 PM	#4
BladeMaster Guest Posts: n/a	Thanks Moni that made me laugh. It is a miserable day here. This topic has cheered me up. Even she could not cheer me up ------------------ By Clanggedin. What does a Dwarf have to do to get a drink around here. http://www.angelfire.com/rpg/evermeet

06-15-2001, 12:51 PM	#6
Sazerac Ironworks Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Monroe, LA Age: 60 Posts: 7,387	I must be danged lucky.

06-15-2001, 01:07 PM	#7
Throntar Drizzt Do'Urden Join Date: March 15, 2001 Location: Missouri, USA Posts: 632	Good stuff Moni. Keep it comin'. I can always use a good laugh... ------------------ Now where did I leave that doughnut?!

06-15-2001, 01:18 PM	#8
Moiraine Anubis Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Up in the Freedomland Alps Age: 59 Posts: 2,474	Mono, ô wise one, maybe you will be able to answer this : Is love a matter of looking each other into the eyes, or is it both looking in the same direction ? 'Cause managing both seems kinda difficult ... ------------------ The world is my oyster ! And now I have the knives to open it ...

06-15-2001, 01:55 PM	#9
Ramon de Ramon y Ramon Red Dragon Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Cologne, North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany Age: 52 Posts: 1,517	Moiraine, you are still around ! Thanks, you just made my day just by "showing up" ! ------------------ So long ! R³ - new, much improved signature under construction !

06-15-2001, 01:59 PM	#10
Ramon de Ramon y Ramon Red Dragon Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Cologne, North Rhine-Westphalia, Germany Age: 52 Posts: 1,517	Downchaser, you have shocked my horribly ! You really mean to tell me that MJ is NOT god, but just a mere mortal ? Oh no ... ------------------ So long ! R³ - new, much improved signature under construction ! [This message has been edited by Ramon de Ramon y Ramon (edited 06-15-2001).]

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