Received this joke in an email... it's awesome. PG 13 :)

The Hierophant · 07-03-2004, 01:06 AM

Quote:

I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women
differ so
much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have
never figured out why men think with their head and women think
with
their heart.
I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown
into a
state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do"
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well,
the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like
it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT???!!! What was
that?!"
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to
hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a
woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for
who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to
sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her.
We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed
department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several
different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
take so
I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each
outfit.
We went to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings.
Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one
wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I
threw
her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost
nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I
think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I
don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled
"WHAT??!!!" I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this
stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs
as a
man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And
just
when she had this look like she was going to kill me I
added, why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the
things I
buy you?"
Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly
over a frozen hell.

YEAH!! [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

Felix The Assassin · 07-03-2004, 01:24 AM

Dude,

This has got to be the best joke ever!
Well, maybe just shy of the "aliens have attacked earth".

Dron_Cah · 07-03-2004, 01:24 AM

LMFAO!!!! That's. So. Awesome!!! Heiro, this is the best joke I've ever heard! I bow down, you rule, lol!

Lord · 07-03-2004, 01:32 AM

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img]

Ilander · 07-03-2004, 01:33 AM

nice

SomeGuy · 07-03-2004, 01:34 AM

Well, I hate the whole steretypical man thinks with head thing. But that joke rocked

Gangrell · 07-03-2004, 01:36 AM

Haha, that was hilarious Hiero, good one! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

Harkoliar · 07-03-2004, 02:23 AM

ah.. sweet revenge if you ask me

.

Sythe · 07-03-2004, 02:46 AM

One of the best jokes ever

Bahamut · 07-03-2004, 04:09 AM

Yes... right back atcha!!!

Funny!

07-03-2004, 01:24 AM	#2
Felix The Assassin The Dreadnoks Join Date: September 27, 2001 Location: Orlando, FL Age: 61 Posts: 3,608	Dude, This has got to be the best joke ever! Well, maybe just shy of the "aliens have attacked earth". __________________ The Lizzie Palmer Tribute Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty. John F. Kennedy 35th President of The United States The Last Shot Honor The Fallen Jesus died for our sins, and American Soldiers died for our freedom. If you don't stand behind our Soldiers, please feel free to stand in front of them.

07-03-2004, 01:32 AM	#4
Lord Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: June 3, 2003 Location: New York Age: 39 Posts: 3,302	HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/biglaugh.gif[/img] __________________ "You're a thief and a liar." "No, I only lied about being a thief."

07-03-2004, 01:33 AM	#5
Ilander 20th Level Warrior Join Date: December 28, 2003 Location: Kentucky Age: 38 Posts: 2,820	nice __________________ Is that what you really want to say?

07-03-2004, 01:34 AM	#6
SomeGuy Unicorn Join Date: May 14, 2002 Location: Oklahoma, USA Age: 33 Posts: 4,238	Well, I hate the whole steretypical man thinks with head thing. But that joke rocked __________________ \"I firmly believe that any man\'s finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.\"<br />-Vince Lombardi

07-03-2004, 02:23 AM	#8
Harkoliar Jack Burton Join Date: March 21, 2001 Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney Age: 41 Posts: 5,556	ah.. sweet revenge if you ask me . __________________ Catch me if you can..

07-03-2004, 01:24 AM	#3
Dron_Cah Horus - Egyptian Sky God Join Date: March 2, 2003 Location: Kentucky Age: 37 Posts: 2,637	LMFAO!!!! That's. So. Awesome!!! Heiro, this is the best joke I've ever heard! I bow down, you rule, lol!

07-03-2004, 01:36 AM	#7
Gangrell Iron Throne Cult Join Date: January 2, 2003 Location: Big Castle in the Sky Age: 36 Posts: 4,835	Haha, that was hilarious Hiero, good one! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

07-03-2004, 02:46 AM	#9
Sythe Ra Join Date: May 19, 2002 Location: The US of A Age: 35 Posts: 2,365	One of the best jokes ever __________________ Slythe is back! Back again! Haha! <br /><br />[url]\"http://imageshack.us\" target=\"_blank\"> [img]\"http://img472.imageshack.us/img472/9928/130blood4ts.jpg\" alt=\" - \" /></a>

07-03-2004, 04:09 AM	#10
Bahamut Iron Throne Cult Join Date: March 12, 2001 Location: Manila, Philippines Age: 39 Posts: 4,864	Yes... right back atcha!!! Funny! __________________ http://makeallthedifference.blogspot.com http://www.bratgirlcentral.com/cgi-b.../ikonboard.cgi

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