O.L.D. C.O.O.T.S. clan forming inquire within

John D Harris · 09-27-2001, 08:26 PM

Obstinate
Lazy
Disgruntled

Cantankerous
Order
Of
The
Sages

MOTTO: "Old age and treachery beats youth and skill every time"
Purpose: To impart our wit and wisdom on the next generation of CRPG players, or just to mess with their minds. (Old age and expierance has to have some perks other than pot bellies, residing hairlines, and hangovers that hurt for days)
Eligability Requirements
1) Must know what "Your permenent record" means
2) Have said pull my finger to childern (yours or neigborhood kids will do)
3) Are able to fall asleep on couch during televised sporting event, and when the channel is changed, wake up and shout "Hey I was watching that"
4) Understand that milk, cookies, and an afternoon nap in not a bad idea.
5) Mumble to self
6) Said "Turn off the lights, what do you think money grows on trees"
7) Shouted at kids for running, playing, or making too much noise
8) Been fussed at for not taking the trash out
9) Had spouse laugh at you for stumping you toe while trying to kick the dog, or any other assinie display of rage
10) Ladies are not restricted from joining, but are discourged. Frankly you are probibily are already having to put up with the afor mentioned behavior, so why in the world would you wish to add to your missery?
11) Exception to requirement # 10 if you are young and attractive, PLEASE disreguard all above requirements! The OLD COOTS membership will be only the finest, distingusted, adventuring LORDS from the most noble of houses along the Sword Coast. All members have one foot in the grave and the other foot on a banana peel, and are extremely wealthy! * Side note to the younger males: That is how you do it, LIE LIKE A DOG, Because in the battle of the sexes the ladies have us OUTGUNNED, and OVERMATCHED. (Unless you are trying to woe one of my daughters. Then your ONLY HOPE for survival is a unconditional surrender!
I feel it is only fair to warn you that if lie too ,or make one of my daughters cry, I own a shotgun, a pick-up truck, and 140 acres of worthless Alabama swampland. You will never be found!)

If the above requirements are met Please feel free to take the admissions test.

1) Can you recit the Motto and purpose by heart?
A) Yes
B) No
C) I don't recite anything without my attorney present (You may discountinue the rest of the test you are our kinda people!)

2) Are you willing to pay DUES?
A)Yes, pease make a "Chashiers check Payable to "we sucker'em"
B) No, I got a spouse, mortagae, car payments, and have you seen my electeric bill nobody turns off the lights around here!
C) You have got to be kidding pay dues to an orginazation that doesn't supply beer, or anything NEKKED (southern for got no clothes on and up to NO GOOD!)

3) Do you remember disco?
A) Yes
B) No, I was under the influance of mind altering substances during disco
C) What did he say? (insert spouses name here)

4) Did You like Disco?
A) Yes, PLEASE step away from the computer and quitely wait for the men in the white suits to come pick you up (we know where you are at)
B) NO
C) I break into hives at the very mention of disco!

5)Do you do any exercise other than 12oz or 16oz curls?
A) Yes
B) No
C) I pay people to exercise for me

6) What color socks do you where while mowwing the lawn in your Favorite bermuda shorts nad holey t-shirt?
A) White
B) Black
C) Argiles

7) Do you embarrss your children?
A) Yes
B) no
C) We had them for our amussment right?

8) Is it impossible for your boss to find his rear-end with both hands?
A) Yes
B) No
C) You bet! Hey wait a minute I am the boss! How many hands did you say could use?

9) If stranded on the couch with-out the TV remote you would?
A) get up and look for it (Sorry you do not have what it takes to be an OLD COOTS)
B) Watch what ever was on TV even if it was "under water basket weaving".
C) Call the kids in from playing outside and make them change the channel.

10) Do you enjoy chasing cats, dogs, and small children out of your yard?
A) Yes
B) No
C) I keep a box of smooth river rocks just for that purpose!

Thank you for particpating in this test you will be notified of your acceptance, provided I can get up off my lazy rear-end to do so.

------------------

Airline ticket to Afghanistan $800
High powered rifle with scope $1000
Hotel room with roof access $100
A clean Head shot on that sack of Horse Manure Usuma Bin Laden PRICELESS!

[This message has been edited by John D Harris (edited 09-27-2001).]

[This message has been edited by John D Harris (edited 09-27-2001).]

[This message has been edited by John D Harris (edited 09-27-2001).]

[This message has been edited by John D Harris (edited 09-27-2001).]

DragonMage · 09-27-2001, 08:33 PM

ROTFLMAO & OMG! lafing so hard...can hardly type! OMG! ......

Well then, am I young enough to qualify as one of the ladies allowed in? If not, I'll just lurk!

09-27-2001, 08:37 PM

Well, Dragon Mage....... betraying your clan eh? Azure will pounce on thee!
Besides, Im like 14,000 yrs old anyway......

------------------

All your base are belong to us! How Are you gentlemen?

Co-owner of The Abyssal Pit
The Spaminyte Emperor
Official Demon/Villain of IW!
***********************
Fish? Welcome to your Doom!
**********************
Undead Warlord and General of the Abyss- for the sake of HADB!

DragonMage · 09-27-2001, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gwhanos, Lord Of Evil:
Well, Dragon Mage....... betraying your clan eh? Azure will pounce on thee!
Besides, Im like 14,000 yrs old anyway......

Didn't want to join - want to be the 'pin-up girl'!

And does that mean, dear G, that you feel you are 'too old' for me?

------------------

The day we stop learning is the day we start dying!(c)

Owner/operator of the Evil Petting Zoo and devout member of the HADB clan.
Commander of the Dragon Fleet, IW Peacekeeping Force
Honored to be a member of the Illuminati - may the Light shine forever!
Mage extraordinair.
Occasional minion to Gwhanos the Fluffy

Hopeless Romantic *sigh*

"Allright! We'll call it a draw."

Aelia Jusa · 09-27-2001, 08:41 PM

Tee hee

I wanna join!
Does a gorgeous nubile 20 year old gal fit the bill?

------------------

Goddess and Sorceress of the HADB, and her sidekick Pink

09-27-2001, 08:42 PM

You really want to see what I REALLY look like?
*turns int a purple pitfiend (from bg2) with a tattered old red cape and staff*
*breathing fire*
G: MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

------------------

All your base are belong to us! How Are you gentlemen?

Co-owner of The Abyssal Pit
The Spaminyte Emperor
Official Demon/Villain of IW!
***********************
Fish? Welcome to your Doom!
**********************
Undead Warlord and General of the Abyss- for the sake of HADB!

John D Harris · 09-27-2001, 08:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gwhanos, Lord Of Evil:
Well, Dragon Mage....... betraying your clan eh? Azure will pounce on thee!
Besides, Im like 14,000 yrs old anyway......

No worries Gwhanos, the OLD COOTS don't do much 'cept scratch and belch.
Dragon Mage sure you can be a "pin-up girl" please send 8x10 photo glossys

------------------

Airline ticket to Afghanistan $800
High powered rifle with scope $1000
Hotel room with roof access $100
A clean Head shot on that sack of Horse Manure Usuma Bin Laden PRICELESS!

DragonMage · 09-27-2001, 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by John D Harris:

Quote:

Originally posted by Gwhanos, Lord Of Evil:
Well, Dragon Mage....... betraying your clan eh? Azure will pounce on thee!
Besides, Im like 14,000 yrs old anyway......

No worries Gwhanos, the OLD COOTS don't do much 'cept scratch and belch.
Dragon Mage sure you can be a "pin-up girl" please send 8x10 photo glossys

OK! Do you want those 'clad' or 'unclad'? Being 'dirty old men', I'm sure you'll be wanting the latter!

Come on Aelia - lets show these 'old farts' what young and nubile REALLY means!

We'll give their pacemakers a turn!
------------------

The day we stop learning is the day we start dying!(c)

Owner/operator of the Evil Petting Zoo and devout member of the HADB clan.
Commander of the Dragon Fleet, IW Peacekeeping Force
Honored to be a member of the Illuminati - may the Light shine forever!
Mage extraordinair.
Occasional minion to Gwhanos the Fluffy

Hopeless Romantic *sigh*

"Allright! We'll call it a draw."

[This message has been edited by DragonMage (edited 09-27-2001).]

09-27-2001, 08:48 PM

Never under any circumstances should you play "currupt the souls" with the greedy Mammon- he bends da rules and hurts you!

------------------

All your base are belong to us! How Are you gentlemen?

Co-owner of The Abyssal Pit
The Spaminyte Emperor
Official Demon/Villain of IW!
***********************
Fish? Welcome to your Doom!
**********************
Undead Warlord and General of the Abyss- for the sake of HADB!

Reeka · 09-27-2001, 08:51 PM

I most humbly submit my application for membership Mr. John D. Harris, sir.

------------------
Order of the Holy Flame
Member of Clan HADB
Laughing Hyena
Clan Illuminati

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09-27-2001, 08:26 PM	#1
John D Harris Ninja Storm Shadow Join Date: March 27, 2001 Location: Northport,Alabama, USA Age: 62 Posts: 3,577	Obstinate Lazy Disgruntled Cantankerous Order Of The Sages MOTTO: "Old age and treachery beats youth and skill every time" Purpose: To impart our wit and wisdom on the next generation of CRPG players, or just to mess with their minds. (Old age and expierance has to have some perks other than pot bellies, residing hairlines, and hangovers that hurt for days) Eligability Requirements 1) Must know what "Your permenent record" means 2) Have said pull my finger to childern (yours or neigborhood kids will do) 3) Are able to fall asleep on couch during televised sporting event, and when the channel is changed, wake up and shout "Hey I was watching that" 4) Understand that milk, cookies, and an afternoon nap in not a bad idea. 5) Mumble to self 6) Said "Turn off the lights, what do you think money grows on trees" 7) Shouted at kids for running, playing, or making too much noise 8) Been fussed at for not taking the trash out 9) Had spouse laugh at you for stumping you toe while trying to kick the dog, or any other assinie display of rage 10) Ladies are not restricted from joining, but are discourged. Frankly you are probibily are already having to put up with the afor mentioned behavior, so why in the world would you wish to add to your missery? 11) Exception to requirement # 10 if you are young and attractive, PLEASE disreguard all above requirements! The OLD COOTS membership will be only the finest, distingusted, adventuring LORDS from the most noble of houses along the Sword Coast. All members have one foot in the grave and the other foot on a banana peel, and are extremely wealthy! * Side note to the younger males: That is how you do it, LIE LIKE A DOG, Because in the battle of the sexes the ladies have us OUTGUNNED, and OVERMATCHED. (Unless you are trying to woe one of my daughters. Then your ONLY HOPE for survival is a unconditional surrender! I feel it is only fair to warn you that if lie too ,or make one of my daughters cry, I own a shotgun, a pick-up truck, and 140 acres of worthless Alabama swampland. You will never be found!) If the above requirements are met Please feel free to take the admissions test. 1) Can you recit the Motto and purpose by heart? A) Yes B) No C) I don't recite anything without my attorney present (You may discountinue the rest of the test you are our kinda people!) 2) Are you willing to pay DUES? A)Yes, pease make a "Chashiers check Payable to "we sucker'em" B) No, I got a spouse, mortagae, car payments, and have you seen my electeric bill nobody turns off the lights around here! C) You have got to be kidding pay dues to an orginazation that doesn't supply beer, or anything NEKKED (southern for got no clothes on and up to NO GOOD!) 3) Do you remember disco? A) Yes B) No, I was under the influance of mind altering substances during disco C) What did he say? (insert spouses name here) 4) Did You like Disco? A) Yes, PLEASE step away from the computer and quitely wait for the men in the white suits to come pick you up (we know where you are at) B) NO C) I break into hives at the very mention of disco! 5)Do you do any exercise other than 12oz or 16oz curls? A) Yes B) No C) I pay people to exercise for me 6) What color socks do you where while mowwing the lawn in your Favorite bermuda shorts nad holey t-shirt? A) White B) Black C) Argiles 7) Do you embarrss your children? A) Yes B) no C) We had them for our amussment right? 8) Is it impossible for your boss to find his rear-end with both hands? A) Yes B) No C) You bet! Hey wait a minute I am the boss! How many hands did you say could use? 9) If stranded on the couch with-out the TV remote you would? A) get up and look for it (Sorry you do not have what it takes to be an OLD COOTS) B) Watch what ever was on TV even if it was "under water basket weaving". C) Call the kids in from playing outside and make them change the channel. 10) Do you enjoy chasing cats, dogs, and small children out of your yard? A) Yes B) No C) I keep a box of smooth river rocks just for that purpose! Thank you for particpating in this test you will be notified of your acceptance, provided I can get up off my lazy rear-end to do so. ------------------ Airline ticket to Afghanistan $800 High powered rifle with scope $1000 Hotel room with roof access $100 A clean Head shot on that sack of Horse Manure Usuma Bin Laden PRICELESS! [This message has been edited by John D Harris (edited 09-27-2001).] [This message has been edited by John D Harris (edited 09-27-2001).] [This message has been edited by John D Harris (edited 09-27-2001).] [This message has been edited by John D Harris (edited 09-27-2001).]

09-27-2001, 08:33 PM	#2
DragonMage 20th Level Warrior Join Date: September 6, 2001 Location: The lighter side of life, a.k.a. Newnan, Georgia Age: 55 Posts: 2,767	ROTFLMAO & OMG! lafing so hard...can hardly type! OMG! ...... Well then, am I young enough to qualify as one of the ladies allowed in? If not, I'll just lurk!

09-27-2001, 08:37 PM	#3
Gwhanos, Lord Of Evil Guest Posts: n/a	Well, Dragon Mage....... betraying your clan eh? Azure will pounce on thee! Besides, Im like 14,000 yrs old anyway...... ------------------ All your base are belong to us! How Are you gentlemen? Co-owner of The Abyssal Pit The Spaminyte Emperor Official Demon/Villain of IW! ********************* Fish? Welcome to your Doom! ******************** Undead Warlord and General of the Abyss- for the sake of HADB!

09-27-2001, 08:41 PM	#5
Aelia Jusa Iron Throne Cult Join Date: August 23, 2001 Location: Brisbane, Australia Age: 42 Posts: 4,867	Tee hee I wanna join! Does a gorgeous nubile 20 year old gal fit the bill? ------------------ Goddess and Sorceress of the HADB, and her sidekick Pink

09-27-2001, 08:42 PM	#6
Gwhanos, Lord Of Evil Guest Posts: n/a	You really want to see what I REALLY look like? turns int a purple pitfiend (from bg2) with a tattered old red cape and staff breathing fire G: MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! ------------------ All your base are belong to us! How Are you gentlemen? Co-owner of The Abyssal Pit The Spaminyte Emperor Official Demon/Villain of IW! ********************* Fish? Welcome to your Doom! ******************** Undead Warlord and General of the Abyss- for the sake of HADB!

09-27-2001, 08:48 PM	#9
Gwhanos, Lord Of Evil Guest Posts: n/a	Never under any circumstances should you play "currupt the souls" with the greedy Mammon- he bends da rules and hurts you! ------------------ All your base are belong to us! How Are you gentlemen? Co-owner of The Abyssal Pit The Spaminyte Emperor Official Demon/Villain of IW! ********************* Fish? Welcome to your Doom! ******************** Undead Warlord and General of the Abyss- for the sake of HADB!

09-27-2001, 08:51 PM	#10
Reeka Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: March 2, 2001 Location: Birmingham, Alabama, USA Age: 70 Posts: 3,255	I most humbly submit my application for membership Mr. John D. Harris, sir. ------------------ Order of the Holy Flame Member of Clan HADB Laughing Hyena Clan Illuminati

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