BG2 Bar Part 5 - The Final Tavern Here

[jabidas]

Well then while ive been absent ive missed undead, illithid, wedgie fights and the return of Kangaxx let me guess everyone casts spell immunity abjuration and ignores him and he cries bitterly occasionaly we hear the broken wail of I could have been a contender, I could have been somebody. Ah well thats what undeath gets you, you stereotypical archvillain of absolute destruction.

Great old ones, hmmmm they smell of cloves and vinegar dont they ah well whats that between friends.

Is there anything left I can give a good kicking and yes I promise I wont show my teeth.

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Not at all. When I was the God of Vigilantes and married to Nyx, I was in the company of both her undead and my darklings
.
Sil goes upstairs to comfort Tess (one of my Mum's cats is named Tess)
.
There is no more on the ship. Who's up for a barbecue? I'll even invite Wah too (he may be evil but I like him nonetheless)

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In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is pimp.
http://lordraptor0.tripod.com/index.html

[Neb]

Neb, Razzen, Kivan and Tiax leave the ship and stand on the roof of the Bar looking down at it, "I wonder how well that thing burns?" says Kivan, "Let's find out shall we?" says Neb, Neb then casts Incinerate(All molecules in the target spontaneusly combust.) on the ship which burns brigthly, and smellily, "Ugh!" says Razzen "Maybe we should have disentegrated those bodies first, burning paladins smell pretty bad." Neb summons an air elemental with a wave of his hand, the air elemental blows away the bad smell from the ship which explodes as the fire reaches a cask of whisky which Kivan had stowed away under a table.

Neb suddenly says "I think we're moving." "Why do you think that?" asks Kivan "Well" says Neb "See that planet over there? It's getting bigger, FAST, either it's heading towards us or we're headed towards it." Tiax looks at the planet and says "I think that it is both, I suspect we'll hit it in an hour or two, and noone will notice unless they climb onto the roof because none of the windows are on this side of the Bar", "Do you think they have booze on that planet?" asks Razzen, Tiax casts Farsight and then says "Yep, in fact, they have no water down there, they drink beer instead." "Yahooooo!" shout Razzen, Kivan and Neb in unison, they then go down into the Bar by stomping repeatedly on the roof until it collapses and they drop down onto Wah who is mopping the floor.

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Worshipper of Tiax.

Wielder of the ancient Lawyer spells.

Member of the HADB clan.

[jabidas]

Oh good fresh bloddy meat, I mean ah well done normal culinary thingies am whatever.

I like undead they sound good when all the bones crash into the ground and shatter, unless there spectral undead theyre just whiney and annoying. Humans are the beat they bleed and scream so amusingly when you burst them.

Anyways its time for me to toss fireballs at something even the wall, please give me something to break.

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[Melusine]

LOLSFHKASARLMSFLBP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy crap Neb, you're getting better

Melusine is scared out of her wits when four mean looking guys come crashing through the roof! However, she simply cannot let Wah be crushed so with a great swoop she carries him away to safety just before the foursome hits the floor...hard! After recovering from the blow, they spring up and wildly scream about a Planet of Beer...

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Melusine, High Queen of Fluffies, Archbabe of the Order of the Holy Flame and the Laughing Hyenas, &
Official Entertainer Elf of the BG2 Bar

Your voice is ambrosia

Fortunately Ican sense the planet - it's Titan. I will guide a landing and will post details of Titan for people later

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In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is pimp.
http://lordraptor0.tripod.com/index.html

[Encard]

Encard once again zaps himself in... However, just as all think they *might* be safe, a number of strange looking portals appear... Something(s) is(are) about to step out...

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Bow down to the Weasels of Apocalypse! RaBid Fruit Trees! RRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! Miniature Exploding Demonic Demons of Doom, Death and Desruction!
:1drgat1:

[jabidas]

Please dont spoil the suspence keeps us guessing although we know were going to win anyway so long as we have the old man sorry one on our side. We shall enjoy kicking it though.

Also I am happy to see the word zap being used I like the word zap as anyone familiar with me knows, zap zap zap.

Too bad I didnt bring my dramatic smoke.

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LS and LT will wait until you've finished - I could close the portals easily enough but where's the fun in that?

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In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is pimp.
http://lordraptor0.tripod.com/index.html

[Tancred]

Tancred sits at the table glumly, his own pride injured by the wound he took. He concentrates on some crumbs of bread on the table, playing an impromptu game of chess with them. He is glum and depressed.
Karnas lies propped up in a chair, gradually getting more frustrated. Look into the mind of a sword, even a sentient one, and you will see its' nature; a thing made for battle. It longs to be used. It loves whoever wields it with fanatic dedication if treated well, and rewards such care with good service. But an idle sword is an affront to the very soul of all swords everywhere. Right now, Karnas can see the future - a future hung over a mantlepiece while he watches his wielder grow old and weak. And it terrifies him. Suddenly, even the coarse soul of the golden blade cares.

"Um... holy-boy... are you alright over there?"
No answer.
"Uh... you there?"
Silence.
"Look, I know I laughed and everything, but... well, come on, it WAS funny."
Chilly silence, slouch further into chair.
"Can't you take a joke?"
The very sound of silence.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you!"
Turns further away.
"Holy-boy! Come on! Stop acting like a baby!"
No reaction.
"Awww, fine! Be like that, then!"
Still no reaction.
"Come on! Snap out of it! Or are you really the spineless virgin I always thought you were? Come on, be a MAN!"
There is almost no reaction. There is silence, punctuated by a small, solemn (snif), and a slight shiver. The sword sees a small tear fall from the Paladin's face. With a guilty twinge, Karnas realises he might just have to change tact for this.
"Um, er, look, I'm sorry, ok? Come on, pull yourself together..."
Another tear.
"OK, look, what they did was a shock, I'll bet, and I know you weren't in the most stable frame of mind... don't worry, they're all sorry. Look at them."
More sniffing, and a slight choke.
"Come on, don't do this to yourself! Think of the good times! Caleb's cock-ups! Shieldy's benevolence! Mel's smile(holy pants, what a smile)! Come on, man, times are good! Live with them!"
Slow shake of head, another tear.
"PLEASE! Don't cry! It's going to be alright!"
Silence.
"There's quests out there! Dragons to slay! Damosels to rescue! Maidens to woo! Treasure to collect! And it's still waiting! You're too young for all this wounded pride Paladin hero angst crud! Don't let the Realms pass you by!"
Slight straighteneing of back, perking up of head.
"Look at me. Once the most powerful of an ancient order, now nothing more than a sword. Does it get me down? NO! I learned to take pleasure in the simple things. The feel of battle, the triumph, the rewards - yes, even your company! You aren't so bad! OK, so I make fun of you occasionally, but hey, man, I'm trapped in a SWORD! I'm hardly likely to be completley well-balanced personality-wise, am I?"
Slight turn of head towards sword.
"Come on. Pick me up. Find some quest. Kick the hell out of some Undead." Karnas hates himself for dropping the bomb, but decides there's no other way. "What would Siona say if she found you, in ten years time, an old sot in a bar? A has-been Paladin? What would she say if she found you NOW? You're better than that, man. And she knew it. So do you."
A slight glance to the rose entwined with blonde hair on the table, a nervous look to the sword. An expression of utmost regret crosses the Paladin's face, swiftly replaced by one of angry thought.
"Please." For once - anq quite possibly just this once - Karnas' voice loses its' wheedling, snide tone. "Tancred. Please."
For a long, tense silence, the Paladin weighs up the truth of his sword's words while Karnas anxiously watches.
At the last, after an eternity of heartbeats has passed, a fierce grin splits the Paladin's glum face, and his eyes sparkle with, not tears, but resolve. He leaps up, grabs his sword from the table, and charges towards the peril, screaming his battlecry and whirling his sword around his head, aflame with battlelust -
He stops when he realises there are no baddies left and everyone's having a barbeque. All eyes turn to the strange tableau of the suddenly frozen Paladin and a speechless sword.
Slowly, honestly, the pair of them begin to laugh, and Tancred wanders over to the grill to see what's cooking.