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10-30-2001, 11:13 PM
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#1 |
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Ironworks Moderator
 Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Monroe, LA
Age: 60
Posts: 7,387
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These are quotations of inspiration, humor, and wisdom from the ladies of the world. Read, and enjoy!
Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened. -Cora Harvey Armstrong- .................................................. .......................... The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. Helen Hayes (at 73) .................................................. ...... Whoever thought up the word "Mammogram"? Every time I hear it, I think I'm supposed to put my breast in an envelope and send it to someone. -Jan King- .................................................. ............ A few weeks after my surgery, I went out to play catch with my golden retriever. When I bent over to pick up the ball, my prosthesis fell out. The dog snatched it, and I found myself chasing him down the road yelling "Hey, come back here with my breast!" -Linda Ellerbee- .................................................. ............. Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. -Lily Tomlin- .................................................. ............... You know the hardest thing about having cerebral palsy and being a woman? It's plucking your eyebrows. That's how I originally got pierced ears. -Geri Jewell- .................................................. .................... A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. -Carrie Snow- .................................................. ................... Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. -Laurie Kuslansky- .................................................. ..................... My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. -Erma Bombeck- .................................................. ...................... Old age ain't no place for sissies. -Bette Davis- .................................................. ...................... A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. -Rhonda Hansome- .................................................. ....................... The phrase "working mother" is redundant. -Jane Sellman- .................................................. ....................... Every time I close the door on reality it comes in through the windows. -Jennifer Unlimited- .................................................. ....................... Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. -Charlotte Whitton- .................................................. ....................... Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. -Caryn Leschen- .................................................. ....................... I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once. -Jennifer Unlimited- .................................................. ....................... If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. -Catherine Aird- .................................................. ....................... When I was young, I was put in a school for retarded kids for two years before they realized I actually had a hearing loss. And they called ME slow! -Kathy Buckley- .................................................. ....................... I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ...and I'm also not blonde. -Dolly Parton- .................................................. ....................... You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong- .................................................. ....................... If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. -Sue Grafton- .................................................. ................... I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr- .................................................. ....................... I think---therefore I'm single. -Lizz Winstead- .................................................. ...................... When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. -Elayne Boosler- .................................................. ...................... Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -Maryon Pearson .................................................. ....................... In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man--if you want anything done, ask a woman. -Margaret Thatcher- .................................................. ....................... I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. -Gloria Steinem- .................................................. ....................... I never married, because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night. -Marie Corelli- .................................................. ...................... If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck? -Linda Ellerbee- .................................................. ............... I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. -Zsa Zsa Gabor- .................................................. ................. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. -Eleanor Roosevelt Cheers, ------------------  Patience, my BUTT...I'm going to KILL something!!! |
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10-30-2001, 11:17 PM
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#2 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Inside every older person is a younger person - wondering what the hell happened.
-Cora Harvey Armstrong- Ain't that the truth!!!!  ------------------  The best thing about karma is that you create your own. Pets Need Love Too |
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10-31-2001, 07:40 AM
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#3 |
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Jack Burton
 Join Date: March 21, 2001
Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney
Age: 41
Posts: 5,556
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nice one
 ------------------ Revived I Am to hunt this world... Banish ye evil or face my wrath... |
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10-31-2001, 09:18 AM
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#4 |
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Emerald Dragon
 Join Date: October 8, 2001
Location: Georgia
Age: 54
Posts: 918
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A couple of those puppies are going on my mailroom quote board, Saz!! Thank you very much.
------------------ "I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." -Robert McCloskey  
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10-31-2001, 09:26 AM
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#5 |
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Nice Sazerac
 !------------------  Where there are monsters and barbarians there will be Byronas fighting against them. Leader of Keldorn's Order |
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10-31-2001, 10:01 AM
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#6 |
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Dracolisk
 Join Date: January 8, 2001
Location: Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Age: 43
Posts: 6,541
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LOL - glad to see all the men appreciating them so much
 Those were funny, Saz! Thanks ------------------ Melusine, Sultry Elflet, High Queen of Fluffies, Archbabe of the OHF, LH, HADB and ORT!  Your voice is ambrosia Amy Brown Fantasy Art |
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10-31-2001, 10:04 AM
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#7 |
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Account deleted by Request
Join Date: May 17, 2001
Location: .
Age: 38
Posts: 8,802
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ROFL Saz! Heheheh.
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10-31-2001, 11:02 AM
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#8 |
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Iron Throne Cult
 Join Date: March 12, 2001
Location: Manila, Philippines
Age: 39
Posts: 4,864
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That was great! heehee! It made me crack! Now that is like two consecutive cracks on me!
------------------  Mithril Cavalier of ALSB You almost had me? You never had me! You never had your car! It is not about winning by a mile or by an inch, its about winning. Once Upon A Paper |
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