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Old 01-27-2003, 04:17 PM   #1
Sir Kenyth
Fzoul Chembryl
 

Join Date: August 30, 2001
Location: somewhere
Age: 54
Posts: 1,785
*sigh* Back to the single world again. We couldn't come to terms with ex-wives visitation, ex-wives family visitation, etc. She wanted a hard line setup that I just couldn't accept. I got yelled at for letting his Grandma pick him up to go to church and a movie on Sunday! If I don't tell her exactly what I'm doing in this area and give her veto power, I'm lying and deceiving. It's caused a great deal of misery on both sides for the past few weeks. Here's our last two heartwarming emails for you interested voyeurs. Actually, she sent two before I responded the last time. The names are "*" out for privacies sake. As I look ar it, I see how nasty lovers quarrels can get. About the stupidest things too. From the way she talks, you'd think I was seeing someone else behind her back or something equally terrible. I just don't get it sometimes. I am seriously bummed out! My son loved her and she spoiled me for Christmas so I thought we might be going places. Maybe I'm just clueless. Well, I guess they all can't work out huh?

Don't ask me why I'm posting this here. I'd probably get yelled at for that too! [img]smile.gif[/img]

Herlatest)

You know, as far as I'm concerned, you used me the whole time. I'm not going to let it happen anymore. So, you need to stop being a baby about it & act like a man for once. Take responsibility for what you have done. You lied the whole time, because you never intended to do any of the many things you promised me. I also think you wanted me to leave you, because you didn't want to be the bad guy. So, you purposely lied & took action that you knew I could not live with (you knew from day one that I would not live with lying) so that I would leave you. (Yet you were still intimate with me, and that makes me sick that you would treat me with such little respect). Well, it worked. So, you should be happy & stop giving me grief. That's all I've gotten from you lately, especially today.

Her:

I don't care who you talk to. If they want to talk to someone who lies all the time, that's their choice. Why don't you take responsibility for what you have done to me & stop being such a jerk about it? It's your fault, not mine. I can't believe you would be such a smart aleck to me. Who do you think you are?

Me (response):

What I've done ******, is neglect to tell you that my son is at his mothers house to help him with his homework before I get home during the week and neglect to get your permission to do so. I accept responsibility for this. That is my decision and my fault. As far as my tone being defensive, perhaps you should look at your own also. When I try to be nice, you attack me. I take offense to the word liar. Not telling someone something or not seeking their permission to do it is NOT lying! Giving a generalized statement and not having exact answers from memory is also not lying. Perhaps you consider it lying but the world does not run on ******* ***** definition of the English language. That's Websters job. He currently defines it as "To present false information with the intention of deceiving.", not "Withholding information to avoid a painful verbal flaying.", which I get often enough regardless, or "Failure to answer trivial questions presented in Gestapo fashion at a moments notice with unwavering accuracy." I think the reason you consider it lying is because the term "liar" sounds so much more heinous and suits your viewpoint better. If it helps, pin it all on me. It's my fault for all the bad things, and all that's good is your doing. Feed the hate. Key my car. Slash my tires. Slander me mercilessly. I deserve it, right? Geez!

[ 01-28-2003, 09:16 AM: Message edited by: Sir Kenyth ]
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Old 01-27-2003, 04:23 PM   #2
Horatio
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
 

Join Date: September 19, 2001
Location: Behind these metal bars
Age: 41
Posts: 3,117
If you feel you were treated badly, you're better off of it mate.
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Old 01-27-2003, 04:37 PM   #3
Rokenn
Galvatron
 

Join Date: January 22, 2002
Location: california wine country
Age: 60
Posts: 2,193
ugh, sorry to hear of your troubles Kenyth. But one thing she is slightly right about. Next time you get a woman like that in your life, make it crystal clear to her how you raise your son is YOUR decision, not hers.
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Old 01-27-2003, 04:38 PM   #4
The Hunter of Jahanna
Emerald Dragon
 

Join Date: September 25, 2001
Location: NY , NY
Age: 63
Posts: 960
I'm confused. Is the woman your refering to your ex wife of your ex girlfriend? Either way , if they are going to throw a tantrum because your sons grandma takes him out for a few hours or you drop him off at his mothers house then they need to go. Sounds to me like she has just turned into one large ice cold glass of bitch juice and you are better off without the drama.
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Old 01-27-2003, 05:22 PM   #5
Sir Krustin
Symbol of Cyric
 

Join Date: September 15, 2002
Location: Peterborough, ON, CANADA
Age: 60
Posts: 1,394
Two words: Control freak

You're better off without her.
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Old 01-28-2003, 12:19 PM   #6
Sir Kenyth
Fzoul Chembryl
 

Join Date: August 30, 2001
Location: somewhere
Age: 54
Posts: 1,785
Thanks for hearing me out guys. I'm feeling better about things today. We're on amiable terms, which is a good thing. We work in the same building. It wouldn't do to have hateful things happen at work. That's the problem with dating people from work. Anyone else make the same mistake? I would imagine it happens all the time.
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Old 01-28-2003, 12:34 PM   #7
Rokenn
Galvatron
 

Join Date: January 22, 2002
Location: california wine country
Age: 60
Posts: 2,193
Quote:
Originally posted by Sir Kenyth:
Thanks for hearing me out guys. I'm feeling better about things today. We're on amiable terms, which is a good thing. We work in the same building. It wouldn't do to have hateful things happen at work. That's the problem with dating people from work. Anyone else make the same mistake? I would imagine it happens all the time.
Very important rule there: Do not fish off the company pier! Hope things look up for you Kenyth, love has a way of coming from unexpected directions. My current gf was my massage therapist when we met, was seeing her for pains in my elbows and wrists (stupid computers).
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Old 01-28-2003, 01:31 PM   #8
realbinky
Elminster
 

Join Date: March 14, 2001
Location: Milford, MA 01757
Age: 52
Posts: 442
Just remember there was a lot to love in this person, there was just one HUGE issue you couldn't get through together. That does not negate all the good, it just means you can't be together any more. All of us don't know all the circumstances, but if I remember right, you do do a decent job of raising and sharing your son. That is clearly your business, but there are 2 sides to every story. Good luck!
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Old 01-28-2003, 04:50 PM   #9
Sir Kenyth
Fzoul Chembryl
 

Join Date: August 30, 2001
Location: somewhere
Age: 54
Posts: 1,785
Quote:
Originally posted by realbinky:
Just remember there was a lot to love in this person, there was just one HUGE issue you couldn't get through together. That does not negate all the good, it just means you can't be together any more. All of us don't know all the circumstances, but if I remember right, you do do a decent job of raising and sharing your son. That is clearly your business, but there are 2 sides to every story. Good luck!
I don't hate her. She had a lot of very good qualities. For one, she was very nice and generous with my son. That's a BIG PLUS in my book. That's why I'm so disappointed. High hopes and all. I don't think she'll want to stay friends at all though. She's a very all or nothing person. No in-betweens. It probably keeps things simpler that way though, so there's something to be said for it.
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