Cloudy's Cafe- a conversation zone 3-13-03

[Sigmar]

If I may be serious for a moment I have a question to ask of the denizens of the cafe, regarding a member of the fairer sex.

I have a friend, who happens to be a girl and I know for a fact (from my other friends) that she would be interested in going out with me, I feel the same way and would be interested in going out with her as she is a lovely person and we share the same hobbies and interests (she rows too, thats where I met her). I haven't been in any serious relationships and so I'd thought I'd run a couple of things by you guys first. Mainly because last time I was about to ask her I began to stutter and well, my mind went blank! When I didn't have an interest in her as anything other then a friend I didn't have any problems talking and joking with her, but now neither of us can hardly string a sentence together in eachother's presence

Well my questions are-

Should I ask her if she like to go out with me first or should I wait for her to do so first?

Flowers- romantic or just plain corny

Restaurant or ordinary dinner and then dancing?

And that is that... I'd appriciate the feedback, thanks for reading!

[ 03-14-2003, 04:08 PM: Message edited by: Sigmar ]

[Timber Loftis]

Ask her out. Don't wait for her: chivalry is not dead and women tend to like it, regardless of whether they are bent on women's liberation or not. Don't make it a separate special thing that creates tension. Just ask her if she'd like to go do X,Y, and Z with you on [insert date] at [insert place]. Being specific is best. If you present it as seeking a companion to do something cool with rather than an excuse to spend time with her, it will be easier on you both.

Flowers are fine - be modest though. A single rose should work great. General rule: flowers are a preventative, not a curative, so use the PRIOR to screwing up.

[arion windrider]

hi everyone [img]smile.gif[/img] hows ppl day going so far???

[Attalus]

Originally posted by Sigmar: Should I ask her if she like to go out with me first or should I wait for her to do so first? Flowers- romantic or just plain corny Restaurant or ordinary dinner and then dancing? And that is that... I'd appriciate the feedback, thanks for reading!

Well, Piestrider tells me that girls call guys up all of the time, but... I tend to feel that, after talking to him about it, that the girls that call up the guys aren't ever the ones the said guys want to call up,so... ask her out. Don't make it a fancy restaurant at first, just for lunch or coffee. Don't buy her anything until you are sure your feelinga are reciprocated. Don't make a movie, first date. That is a long time to sit next to someone you don't know all that well and are anxious to gauge her reactions, to boot. And then, there's that old trap of, do-I-put-my-arm-around-her-shoulders, and, if-I-do, I don't dare to move it for fear it'll hurt her feelings, so your arm goes numb at the shoulder. Yeah, lunch or coffee are best. Walks in the park are good, it'll give you time to get to know her and get some of the awkwardness out of the conversation.

But,

above all,

DON'T STARE AT HER BREASTS!!!

[Elif Godson]

LOL Attalus, follow his advice Sig [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] only glance at them.......on a regular basis [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] Hi all TGIF Im off to help my wife get ready for the new Emperor of the family, yep thats right, we are 2 centimeter and growing [img]smile.gif[/img]

Be safe all, will post back later with the new Lords size and weight and health update

[Epona]

Sigmar, Attalus has given some great advice.

Definitely ask her out! It sounds as if she is interested, so go for it. Lunch is a good idea - it's fairly informal, and gives you a chance to talk. Movies, no - for reasons Attalus points out it is not good for a first date.

And as for waiting for her to ask you - don't do that. With almost every guy I have ever dated I have had to make the first move - and I would really love, for once in my life, to have someone ask *me* out. And I am someone with very modern views on life, not a traditionalist at all. It's flattering for a girl to be asked.

[Attalus]

Thanks for the kind words, Epona. I hope things are looking up for you. Sigmar, those are the results of a lot of trial and error, plus some good advice. I ended up with Galadria though, so it can't be bad.
EDIT: to add, That's great news, Elif!!! Our love to the Mrs. and the new Prince. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

[ 03-14-2003, 06:55 PM: Message edited by: Attalus ]

[Kzonon]

Ahh....always great conversation at Cloudy's

Sigmar...I think you've gotten some really great advice here. Expecially from Timber Loftis...I wish I knew Flowers were a preventative measure instead of a curative one a while back...I learnt the hard way. But anyways.....

I agree one flower....a rose...white to show your friendship, red if you're more comfortable with her and ready to take it a step up.

Definately, not a movie on a first date....usually coffee at a comfortable place. IMO I don't want to take them to expensive restaurants to impress a girl early on. I think it may make her uncomfortable.

Since you're already friends, I wouldn't meet her with flowers. I've done it before and it felt kind of weird. If you'd really like to give her something, give it to her at the end of the evening. I did that once...we had a great dinner, I was dropping her off at her place and then I pulled the single rose from the trunk and gave it to her. That worked well. (Then again, whatever works for me might not work for you.....)

Oh...and definately ask her....everyone, wants to be treated special. But be prepared to be rejected....she may be genuinely busy at your requested time. If she's smart she'll provide an alternative, if not, you'll have to suggest an alternative....if she gives a "stupid" excuse like " I have to wash my hair " or facsimili, obviously, do not pursue.

The last thing...which is really important....is knowing when a girl wants to be kissed. Its very hard to see, but its in the body language. I'm certainly no expert but I'll say, if her chin is up and she's looking at you and not her shoes....thats a good sign. Maybe the rest of our breathen here can give you more advice....

my two cents...in my limited dating experience....

[Djinn Raffo]

Hi Kzonon! Please tell me you are a Canucks fan!

[Sigmar]

Thanks for the advice all of you, I sincerly mean it.

I'm gonna meet her now and I'm gonna pop the question Wish me luck!

PS-Thanks for that special piece of advice at the end of your post Attalus

See y'all later, I hope I'm bearing good news!