Things Every True Southerner Should Know

[RudeDawg]

Javelina ain't bad if prepared right...

(This is the true method of roasting javelina, passed down for many generations. The same methods also work for Beef Heads (in Mexico, called barbacoa)

1) Dig a deep hole, about 2 foot around, and 4 foot deep.
2) Burn a mess of wood in it, preferably mesquite.
3) While the fire is burning down to embers, soak some burlap in water.
4) rub spices on the javelina (backstrap and flanks, or just gut and clean him)
5) When the embers are glowing, wrap the meat in burlap, and toss a thinlayer of wood on the embers, then a thin layer of dirt.
6) lower the meat in , cover the hole with a metal trash can cover. Punch a hole in the cover, and layer dirt over the whole thing.
7) Leave it alone for at least 12 hours.

12 hours later, the meat will be tender and juicy, and still hot.
Ask any old Mexicans or Texans, and they will tell you the same thing.

I can also make campbread in the embers of a campfire, and bake a cake in my BBQ back home... (oh, yeah, and I once made rice pudding for 700 people on an outdoor grill)
yup, "A country boy will survive"

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The RudeDawg
Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil

Yup, that is pretty much the way it was prepared...I got to watch the whole process from the cleaning of the corpse to it being dished out in hamburger buns! I could not get past that description though! LOL!

Hugs Rudy!

Moni

[John D Harris]

Moni, & Rudedawg
LSHIFOMCASMSC!!!!(laughed so hard I fell off my chair and spill't my spit cup)

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"the memories of a man in his old age,
are deeds of a man in his prime"

[John D Harris]

My Granny made us cut our own switches. If you didn't cut a good enough switch the first time she'd go go out and cut two, one for what ever you did,and one for trying to get away with cutting a bad switch

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"the memories of a man in his old age,
are deeds of a man in his prime"

[RudeDawg]

Originally posted by John D Harris: My Granny made us cut our own switches. If you didn't cut a good enough switch the first time she'd go go out and cut two, one for what ever you did,and one for trying to get away with cutting a bad switch

JOHNNY D !!!

Tell these Yanks what a good-ol-boy can do !!!
I know you've heard Bocephus sing "Country Boy Can Survive". My friends and I would sit there and say. "Yup. Can do that. an that. Did that last week. Yup."



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The RudeDawg
Known in these Forgotten Realms as Perin LightEyes
and my girlfriends, Pamila and Phil

[Aurican]

Moni, that was great. Being from North Carolina myself, I can really relate all of the above mentioned.

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Can an elf get a break anywhere these days?

[Row Firecam]

All I know about Southerners is from Jeff Foxworthy
If you got a mobile home and 14 cars that aren't, you might be a redneck
If your grandma ever yelled "Ya'll come look at this thing before I flush it"...you might be a redneck
If you see a sign that says" Say No To Crack" and it reminds you to pull you jeans up... you might be a redneck
these are my fave that I remember

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Keldorn's Younger brother

You might be a redneck jedi if:

1.) Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.

2.) You use your lightsaber to open a non-twist-off bottle of Bud.

3.) There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.

4.) You use your lightsaber to pick your teeth.

5.) At least one section of your X-Wing is Bondo colored.

6.) You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.

7.) You can't describe the taste of an Ewok without using the word chicken.

8.) You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.

9.) You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets.

10.) A peaceful meditation is one without gas.

11.) You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force.

12.) Your master/mentor ever said "Hey, pull my finger..."

13.) Your X-wing is up on blocks in your front yard.

14.) You lost a hand during a lightsaber fight because you had to spit.

15.) The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

16.) Wookies are offended by your B.O.

17.) You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

18.) You use your lightsaber to clean fish.

19.) Your father said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side... it'll be a hoot."

20.) You use your R-2 unit's self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.

21.) The moonshine still you built on Endor is hidden so well even the Ewoks can't find it.

22.) You have a stuffed womp rat over your fireplace.

23.) You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.

24.) You think the symbol for the Rebel Alliance should be the Confederate flag.

25.) More than half the droids you own don't function.

26.) The number of blasters you own exceeds your I.Q.

27.) You wonder why Luke and Leia never got married.

28.) You used a carbon-freezing chamber to store the 78 Wampas you shot while on vacation on Hoth.

29.) Your moonshine is really made on the moon.

30.) You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it prevents access to the dip stored in your back pocket.

31.) Sandpeople back down from your mama.

32.) You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding ticket or DUI.

33.) You've ever strangled someone with the force because they laughed at your accent.

34.) You built an outhouse over the Sarlaac.

35.) You've ever argued with a Jawa over scavenging rights to a broken droid.

36.) A Wookie has told you that you need to shave.

37.) You have ever wrecked a landspeeder while lighting a cigarette with your lightsaber.

38.) You don't think the Ewoks are primitive.

39.) You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow.

40.) You don't think Jabba's pig guards have a hygiene problem.

41.) You consider your lightsaber the ultimate bug zapper.

42.) The Rancor monster refused to eat you.

43.) You discover that your greatest enemy is, in fact, your father, who also happens to be your brother...

44.) You have heard the phrase, "the force be with y'all".

Hi all, this isn't the original but it has some of the best ones in it.

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Holy Avenger of the OHF and part time Pinguindiebjäger

[This message has been edited by Sir_Tainly (edited 05-09-2001).]

[This message has been edited by Sir_Tainly (edited 05-09-2001).]

[Gray Mage]

Sir tainly

ROTFLMAO

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Feel My Power

Arcane Adept of the OHF, "So let it be written, So let it be done"

Originally posted by Gray Mage: Sir tainly ROTFLMAO

Can't take the credit myself, saw the original a few years ago, and just looked this version up on Google

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Holy Avenger of the OHF and part time Pinguindiebjäger