Do chicks dig jerks?

[Harkoliar]

hmmm, how can i guy can truly understand a womans mind ???? im fairly young (18 actually) and havent gotten to a serious relationship yet (although im still hoping). only thing i can do is wait and hope for the best and learn... and find my one true love (yech thats sappy !!!)

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Revived I Am to hunt this world... Banish ye evil or face my wrath...

Jorath

Maybe I'm being obtuse--but what was the friend's motivation (reasoning) for telling you how bad your ex is supposedly being treated? If there's been a year and a half since your break-up, and the ex hasn't seen the need to speak with you (for help or whatever, just to say hi), then why would the friend think you should know this now?

And no, women (in general--at least not the ones with strong self-esteem/confidence and sense of purpose) are not attracted to assholes such as described! 'Bad boy' types, maybe, because of the aura of naughtiness, but not the abusive sorts.

Thanks for posting this because today a friend of mine asked after another friend who last time we heard was going thru a very nasty divorce (from a master of mental abusiveness--and she knew it before she married him!). Haven't heard from her since I last saw her in town (over a month ago) when I found she was already involved with a 'really nice, sweet' guy (that's what she said about the hubby, too). Ok, this was hubby #4, they have a baby under a yr old. and he is making all sorts of threats--and she's cooing over someone else already! She is *not* permiscuous but she does seem to be drawn to guys who initially portray themselves to be caring, 'nice' types who later turn out to be s.o.b.s after they make the catch.

I think the problem is this--we tend to look for in partners something we wished we had in ourselves. I'm not saying we look for abusers or jerks, but rather what may be perceived as assertiveness or strong will (whereas we may feel we lack these qualities).

"There is no reality--there is only perception" is my favorite saying.

I'm lucky in that I married a strong man who revels in my also being strong and independent--ain't many of those guys out there (who don't feel themselves threatened), but they're well worth the wait!!!

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~Garnet FalconDance~

• Guardian of the Forests
  
• Ranger-Protectoress of Ironworks
  
• Scourge of Hobgoblins and Evil-Doers Everywhere![/list]

[250]

Originally posted by Garnet: Jorath Maybe I'm being obtuse--but what was the friend's motivation (reasoning) for telling you how bad your ex is supposedly being treated? If there's been a year and a half since your break-up, and the ex hasn't seen the need to speak with you (for help or whatever, just to say hi), then why would the friend think you should know this now? And no, women (in general--at least not the ones with strong self-esteem/confidence and sense of purpose) are not attracted to assholes such as described! 'Bad boy' types, maybe, because of the aura of naughtiness, but not the abusive sorts. Thanks for posting this because today a friend of mine asked after another friend who last time we heard was going thru a very nasty divorce (from a master of mental abusiveness--and she knew it before she married him!). Haven't heard from her since I last saw her in town (over a month ago) when I found she was already involved with a 'really nice, sweet' guy (that's what she said about the hubby, too). Ok, this was hubby #4, they have a baby under a yr old. and he is making all sorts of threats--and she's cooing over someone else already! She is *not* permiscuous but she does seem to be drawn to guys who initially portray themselves to be caring, 'nice' types who later turn out to be s.o.b.s after they make the catch. I think the problem is this--we tend to look for in partners something we wished we had in ourselves. I'm not saying we look for abusers or jerks, but rather what may be perceived as assertiveness or strong will (whereas we may feel we lack these qualities). "There is no reality--there is only perception" is my favorite saying. I'm lucky in that I married a strong man who revels in my also being strong and independent--ain't many of those guys out there (who don't feel themselves threatened), but they're well worth the wait!!!

do you have any advice for me? thank you kindly

250

I posted to your "things you shouldn't do" or whatever it was called thread a minute ago but it didn't refresh (tho the post shows) atop as it should have. If I crossed the line, I'm sorry (if I hurt you) but I'm not retracting anything I said. In fact, after I call a friend to check on another situation (this has been a day from the Christian Hell so far!!!) I may come back and climb back on my soapbox!



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~Garnet FalconDance~

• Guardian of the Forests
  
• Ranger-Protectoress of Ironworks
  
• Scourge of Hobgoblins and Assorted Bad Nasties Everywhere![/list]

[Archie_Bunker]

Edith married me didn't she!

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"Those were the days."

Originally posted by Jorath Calar: And believe me Moni, if my ex-girlfriend would want anything to do with me (which I don't think she does), I'd do anything to help her out.

I know you would. If there is anyway you couls have a mutual friend talk with her, you might get more insight and a door to enter to help her just may open eventually.
I'll keep her in my prayers. You too (if that's OK)





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