BG2 Bar Part 3 - The Search for Beer

[Tancred]

Tancred watches the ensuing carnage with horror as the Cowled Wizard burns, screaming.
"Ugh... that's horrible."
"Damn right," pipes up the sword. "Messy job, that. Disintegration, that's the way to go. Wizard messes with you, you make sure there's nothing left of him to conduct a funeral service with, know what I mean?"
Tancred gives his sword a distasteful look.

[Tancred]

"Damn Cowled Wizards..."
"I thought you once were one." Tancred regards the sword questioningly.
"Well, yes... but I retired. Too damn restrictive, you know. All that power, and it just lies dormant. I just couldn't handle it. I just wanted to go out there and MEDDLE, you know?"
"I think I'm glad you're just a sword."
"In fact, I fancy a bit of meddling right now. Go on, go out there and kill a random Cowled Wizard."
"No! They'll fry me."
"I'll protect you. S'what I do, right?"
"No... they're important people to the running of Amn."
"Coward."
"I'm not going to kill someone because my sword wants me to."
Peeved silence.
"I won't talk to you any more unless you go out there."
"Fine."
More peeved silence.
"Aw, c'mon! Where's your spunk? Your zest for life?"
"Where's your respect for it?"
"I'll never protect you from magic again."
"Oh, boo hoo. Then you'll never be free of the sword, will you?"
An exceptionally peeved silence.
"I'll tell them."
"What?"
"I'll tell everyone. Here. Now."
"Um..." Tancred seems to grow red at this point. "Tell them what?"
"You know what I'm referring to, Mister I'm-So-Holy..."
"Shut up. I don;t know what you're talking about."
"You do. I'll tell them all... you're a VIRGIN!"
Tancred blushes seriously, his voice becoming quieter.
"Well... um... what's wrong with that?"
"VIRGIN! VIRGIN!"
"SHUT UP!"
"You're a cowardly flop with no spunk!"
"Shut up NOW or end up at the bottom of a lake!"
"Cowardy cowardy custard! Can't cut the mustard!"
"AAAAAAAAAGH!"
"Go out there and kill someone!"
"NO!"
"It'll impress the ladies watchng."
"SHUT UP!"
"Everyone's looking at you. I'll bet they're wondering if you're insane or just impotent."
"Will you just shut up?"
"Go on, be a MAN!"
"Leave off, blabbermouth!"
"OOOOOOOH, look at the big man and his big words!"
"SHUT UP!"
"Kill a Wizard! What are you afraid of!"
"Nothing! I'm..."
"Sizing up the tactical situation? Quaking in your yellow booties?"
"You're gonna be melted down first forge I see."
"Can't face the truth? Look at the facts, boy! Damsels rescued, nil! Dragons slain, nil! Number of times you've got it on with a girl - NIL! And now you're scared to face a weed in a grey dress armed with a twig? What a hero you are, eh? I bet all the ladies just SWOON after you, eh?"
"Look, I'm a flipping Paladin of Helm! We're not supposed to... um, get it on, ALRIGHT?"
"Some excuse. Are you a man or a mouse?"
"SHUT UP!"
"NO!"
"RIGHT! That's *IT*!"
More wound up than he has ever been in his life, Tancred draws the jeering sword, pulls the bar door open so hard it almost falls off, and charges out at the nearest Cowled Wizard...

[Rolzi_69]

Well well well!
i am very honoured to say congratulaions to you on your forums!
they are quite the uninteresting yet .......long and attachable!!!!
---->over and out<----


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Rolzi_69
Sir Matthew the mighty and brave!!!

[Rolzi_69]

Sir Matthew the almighty walks over to Drizzt and challenges him to a dual swiping his face with a leather glove.
Drizzt accepts and after a couple of hefty punches Drizzt is on the floor and an all out, everyman for himself bar fight begins including spells being cast all over the place and a couple of angry ogres withoput heads

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Rolzi_69
Sir Matthew the mighty and brave!!!

While the bar fight is going on Angel and Reeka continue their talk about Evermeet and all of it splendors

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[caleb]

Caleb decides to stay under the table and talk with the troll cook.

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BOW TO THE BISCUIT KING AND HIS THRONE OF SCONE!!!

[Draggor]

BAR FIGHT!!!!! Draggor leaps off his table into the middle of the fight.

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Just when you thought it was safe to visit this board.

Tiddles spots something and runs off. A human scream and vicious roaring sounds are heard. A huge hulking quadruped with armour-plated spiky hide and teeth the size of Tancred's sword comes out of the alley. He appears to have a cowled wizard between his teeth. The mage is struggling but is unharmed because of the Stoneskin. The beast lumbers off to the graveyard and digs a hole. He drops the mage in and covers it up, doing a big poo on the wizard before doing so. The mage's screams are lost as dirt falls on top of him
.
The beats bundles off into a side street. Moments later little Tiddles runs back out and into the bar. He starts growling at the people starting the bar fight

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In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is pimp

[Link]

Originally posted by Lord Shield: 6) There is to be NO innuendo (in any language, Link) or foul language in this bar, same as any other thread - minors read this too you know

Link walks up to Lord Shield, after a (very) long sleep in the Elvis suite of the bar. Glancing at Caleb under the table, who apparently was willing to fight Barbies right hand yesterday he tells Lord Shield:
"What did i do? I simply asked the lady if she would join! A thing she never answered to BTW.."
Lord Shield is eager to repeat line 6 of his bar rules, but Link turns away. He doesn't quite agree with him, as there were people who understood him very well. But he does not want any trouble, so he will not argue with Lord Shield anymore.
"I will respect your rules" is all Link says.

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In the foul darkness one figure will emerge to save the world from evil and despair.... Light flashes as his sword comes down, and thunder rolls through the sky when he points his sword up to heaven to signal his victory....People whisper his name as he walks by, evil tries to hide as they sense his presence nearby.... His name? Link......

That's all I ask. I wasn't angry or anything, but just be aware that minors read this site too, and some can read dutch too

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In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is pimp