The most hilarious conversation I've had in a long time...

[Arledrian]

It's about 7pm, and I'm sitting in my dorm room at university, reading a book on my bed. Suddenly, the phone rings, so I get up and answer it.

"Hello?" I say.

"Hey there Alex, this is Johnson speaking on behalf of the U.S. reserves, how are you doing?" in a real 'Uncle Sam' type voice. By this time, I'm already laughing a little, but trying to stay polite.

"Uh, not s'bad, how about you?"

"WONDERFUL thanks!" he says, really enthusiastically. It's about now that I'm thinking this has to be some prank from one of my friends.

"That's good," I say, trying not to snigger down the phone. "What can I do for you?"

"Well we're looking to recruit people, and I was wondering whether you wanted to meet up with me and discuss the probability of you joining the U.S. reserves"

I pretended to be really enthusiastic, and kept up the conversation with this utterly comical sounding guy for about fifteen or twenty minutes, trying not to laugh the whole time. We got into discussing the details, and all the nitty gritty involved, and were just on the point of arranging a time to meet, when I said "oh by the way, I'm foreign and I'm only here on a student visa, so I'm not sure that I'm allowed to do this" (which is true). The guy became so mad, starting a mini-sermon about me wasting his time, and I just burst out laughing. I was fully aware that I couldn't legally join the reserves from the start, but just talking to this gruff, 'we want you for the army' guy and getting him going was absolutely hilarious.

I really crack myself up. If there is a hell, I've irrefutably booked myself a one-way ticket

[ 02-05-2003, 11:40 AM: Message edited by: Arledrian ]

[AzRaeL StoRmBlaDe]

Some security agency called me the other day and told me they were new to the area and they were going to give me a special deal, at that time i immediately said "So your new to the area, are you hiring?"
The guy didn't really know how to answer so he said "ughhh yeah I guess so, but what i rea-"
I Interrupted "great you know I was looking for a job I have previous security experience. I worked for guard dog security. " (this being the first lame business name idea that came to mind and also the name of the security company oin the john candy movie armed and dangerous if I am not mistaken) so I continued "yeah I used to work them and I would walk around and you know guard stuff."
He like "well thats nice but-"
I interrupted again "Yeah we would you know take the dogs and we would walk around with them and guard everything. It did a good job I can use that as past experience right?"
he said "sure"
I said "great well whats your phone number I'll give them a call"
he gave it to me and I repeated it wrong on purpose like 5 times, and then I hung up. for telemarketers you have to make them dread calling you, that way they won't any more.

[johnny]

For a little more than a year, i got these phonecalls on my cell, every first of the month. It's the same woman every time (how dumb can you be ? ), she's calling about the rent, that it will be a few days late. I think she's Spanish or something, she speaks lousy Dutch with a heavy accent. The first few times i always replied with: i'm sorry lady, you've dialed a wrong number. But she kept calling me every month.
So i decided to hear her story. She starts with: Mr. Rupert ? This time i replied with: yes ? So she started about the rent was going to be a few days later than usual, i said: no problem.
Exactly a month later she called again, same story, but this time i told her i was fed up, and that an eviction notice was in the mail, stuff like that.

She never called again.

[Ladyzekke]

Oh c'mon Alex, it isn't just a job, it's an Adventure...

[/)eathKiller]

LOL well that was just down-right mean to waste his time like that, he was convinced he had a fellow on the line that he was going to recruit [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[pcgiant]

Recent phone call I had:
'Hello, I am doing a survey on people's views of immigration in New Zealand. This survey will take at most five minutes', etc. etc. etc.
The person on the phone was telling me like her whole life story and about why my response is vital to my country and it seemed like she was talking for five minutes.
Finally she says, 'SO are you interested in taking part in the survey?'
I reply, 'No.'
She sounded really annoyed as she said, 'Thanks for your time.'
[img]smile.gif[/img] I felt quite pleased with myself.
(OK pathetic story but you really had to be there.)

[Davros]

Originally posted by Arledrian: It's about 7pm, and I'm sitting in my dorm room at university, reading a book on my bed. Suddenly, the phone rings, so I get up and answer it. "Hello?" I say. "Hey there Alex, this is Johnson speaking on behalf of the U.S. reserves, how are you doing?" in a real 'Uncle Sam' type voice. By this time, I'm already a laughing a little, but trying to stay polite. "Uh, not s'bad, how about you? "WONDERFUL thanks!" he says, really enthusiastically. It's about now that I'm thinking this has to be some prank from one of my friends. "That's good," I say, trying not to snigger down the phone. "What can I do for you?" "Well we're looking to recruit people, and I was wondering whether you wanted to meet up with me and discuss the probability of you joining the U.S. reserves" I pretended to be really enthusiastic, and kept up the conversation with this utterly comical sounding guy for about fifteen or twenty minutes, trying not to laugh the whole time. We got into discussing the details, and all the nitty gritty involved, and were just on the point of arranging a time to meet, when I said "oh by the way, I'm foreign and I'm only here on a student visa, so I'm not sure that I'm allowed to do this" (which is true). The guy became so mad, starting a mini-sermon about me wasting his time, and I just burst out laughing. I was fully aware that I couldn't legally join the reserves from the start, but just talking to this gruff, 'we want you for the army' guy and getting him going was absolutely hilarious. I really crack myself up. If there is a hell, I've irrefutably booked myself a one-way ticket

LOL - I am never creative enough with these telemarketing people - I have a lot to learn.

Nice sig by the way

[Angelousss]

saw this on letterman and not sure if it will work but i'm dying to try it out. if you get a call from a company trying to sell you something as soon as they say the name of the company Interupt as excitedly as possible with something along the lines of

"OMG i won the (insert big ticket item here, examples big screen tv, car, vacation)! I never thought i'd win. i never win anything. (if you can make up a good story about almost winning or the one thing you won ever here's a good time to do that). So when will it be delivered?" Wait.

[Kakero]

interesting, will try some of the methods you people use. [img]smile.gif[/img]