An unknown loss

[Zebodog]

We've been pen-pals since the early 70's. I never met him, but he passed away early this week.

Why do I feel so bad about losing someone I never met?

[Sir Degrader]

You had an emotional attachment to him. That's why.

[Albromor]

I think it is because you *really* did meet him. You met him through your words. I tell people give me a week with anybody and as long as they talk I can tell you what they love, hate, etc. Communicating for as long as you have develops a deep friendship. 30+ years is a long time. I am truly sorry for your loss.

[johnny]

You said it yourself...since the 70's, you must have been feeling like part of you was dying. I hope you can come to closure in your own mind, really.

[ 10-29-2005, 02:25 AM: Message edited by: johnny ]

[Bungleau]

Because relationships happen without actually having to meet. A relationship is about interacting with others, sharing and being shared with. It's about experiencing the joys life brings, and the sorrows that come as well. And if you look at what you've been doing for over thirty years, I'll wager that you've built up quite a relationship. When that goes, especially in such a final way, it is sad.

I've seen it here on IW. When Xen's friend passed away, when Andrea was going through such challenges in the latter stages of her pregnancy, and when Animal passed away, to name a few.

Though I never met Animal, and traded posts with him but rarely, his passing affected me. I now have lunch with my kids regularly... just because of him. When I die, and I hope it's a long time from now, I want my kids to remember more than just the ogre. So I'm planting those seeds now, and I need to continue that relationship to nourish them. You see the evidence of that in my sig, and in Cloudy's. Perhaps in others, in forums that I don't frequent.

So Zebodog, you have my sympathies. Grieve for his passing, for he's no longer here. But rejoice in the things you did share, and in the memories you still keep alive in you. And know that here, you have other friends you may never have met who are still here for support, encouragement, or whatever.

[Cloudbringer]

You just lost someone who was part of your life for a very long time. It's totally understandable. *hug* People we communicate with over that long a time, become part of our lives in a lot of ways. Like Bungleau said, sometimes they may not be right there with you, but in some ways the things they say and the way it makes you think...are all with you when you lose them.

I still feel Animal's presence in many ways, both here and in my life. Keep the good memories and all the fun or thoughtful things you shared and treasure them. [img]smile.gif[/img]

[ 10-29-2005, 11:48 PM: Message edited by: Cloudbringer ]