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Old 02-16-2008, 06:01 AM   #1
Target
Red Dragon
 

Join Date: April 1, 2003
Location: The Midlands
Posts: 1,568
Default HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):


HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a 3-yr-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder & got a little behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist & a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I'll show you A-flat miner.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You ar e stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.
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Old 02-16-2008, 11:58 AM   #2
Harkoliar
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Default Re: HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

heh nice and good ones
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Old 02-16-2008, 04:45 PM   #3
Spirits Reborn
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Default Re: HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

those were amazing!
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Old 02-16-2008, 09:58 PM   #4
Trogdor
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Default Re: HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

Ok, usually those jokes are lame, funny but lame.
However these ones were pure awesome
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Old 02-18-2008, 05:35 AM   #5
wellard
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Default Re: HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

They were so bad I liked them
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Old 02-18-2008, 05:56 AM   #6
Jorath Calar
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Default Re: HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

Acupuncture: a jab well done.
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Old 02-18-2008, 06:30 AM   #7
dplax
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Default Re: HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

*grin*

Surprisingly good ones.
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Old 02-18-2008, 03:36 PM   #8
Vedran
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Default Re: HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

Quote:
Originally Posted by Target View Post
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Quite clever, most of them, but I really don't get this one... :-/
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Old 02-18-2008, 03:40 PM   #9
Vaskez
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Default Re: HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

damn pretty clever, liked these
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If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay
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Old 02-18-2008, 03:41 PM   #10
Vaskez
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Default Re: HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vedran View Post
Quite clever, most of them, but I really don't get this one... :-/
Fruit Flies like to land on/eat bananas
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If he could set that aside, there'd be heaven to pay
But weathered and aged, time swept him to grave
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