Man Fatally Injured by Exploding Pickle

Azimaith · 09-24-2003, 09:42 PM

Today a Californian Arab man was fatally injured by an exploding pickle while he was microwaving it. Before he died he described the event in chilling detail. "I was microwaving the Kosher pickle in an attempt to make a dirty pickle er, sandwich pickle a little warmer because of my... uh sensitive teeth. After I set the time and stood by the microwave door. Suddenly I heard this huge explosion and I felt shards of plastic cutting my face up." He says, Thesa Fhulla Bhulla, an Islam cleric passed away in shortly after 11:00 today because of pickle related injuries to the neck and foot. The Federal Commission on Microwaving Pickle Saftey or FCMPS represntative Ben Lying cautions readers never to microwave kosher pickles, he said: "Many people don't realize just how unstable Kosher pickles are, they actually have minute amounts of Uranium in their seeds which react with microwaves causing a minature nuclear explosion when microwaved, the results tend to be bad as this tragedy clearly points out." Members from the Pickles Are Our Friends, pickle damage support group states that kosher pickles are perfectly safe as long as they are eaten cold. Under no circumstance should you ever microwave one. Thesa Fhulla Bhulla attributed his tradgic and eventually fatal pickle incident to the use of "zionist" pickles.

Disclaimer: If you believe this to be true then should probably be removed from the genepool. Maybe gene pool cleansing by "pickling" would work well.

Yet another ridiculous article by Azimaith.

lethoso · 09-25-2003, 02:23 AM

people seem to manage to kill themselves with just about anything these days, i would not be surprised if someone managed to kill themself by exploding a pickle. The actual article you wrote though, meh, coulda been done a whole lot better.

Harkoliar · 09-25-2003, 03:25 AM

stupid me

Azimaith · 09-25-2003, 04:35 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lethoso:
people seem to manage to kill themselves with just about anything these days, i would not be surprised if someone managed to kill themself by exploding a pickle. The actual article you wrote though, meh, coulda been done a whole lot better.

Blah, well excuuuuse me. I plan on writing more of these ridiculous things but in the future they will probably be longer.
If you can write better I would love to read it, too much depressing stuff going on today.

[ 09-25-2003, 04:37 AM: Message edited by: Azimaith ]

Barry the Sprout · 09-25-2003, 05:33 AM

Whilst completely ridiculous (and I always like that) I can't actually work out what the hell the punch line of this little joke was supposed to be. Am I being really obtuse or is the humour of this just derived from an exploding pickle?

Check out he Darwin awards - much, much, stranger things have happened in real life.

Luvian · 09-25-2003, 05:40 AM

The story would have been a lot more believable without those stupid groups and "Ben Lying ".

Cristian · 09-25-2003, 05:41 AM

err was it a joke? or was it true i dont get it.. O_o

Paladin2000 · 09-25-2003, 05:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cristian:
err was it a joke? or was it true i dont get it.. O_o

Of course it is a joke. I have never seen a pickle with "uranium seed" before. Otherwise we would have nuclear bombs made from pickles. [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

Grojlach · 09-25-2003, 06:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Barry the Sprout:
Whilst completely ridiculous (and I always like that) I can't actually work out what the hell the punch line of this little joke was supposed to be. Am I being really obtuse or is the humour of this just derived from an exploding pickle?

Check out he Darwin awards - much, much, stranger things have happened in real life.

And I have the feeling there's some distasteful underlying xenophobism (or at least anti-muslim feelings) at the base of the joke as well, but I can't quite work out the actual point of it either.
Just don't quit your day-job yet, Azimaith.

Dragonshadow · 09-25-2003, 10:40 AM

Yes.

What? It could be true! But it wasn't... right? Errr....

View Poll Results: Did you believe this to be true when you read the subject but before the article
Yes	30	71.43%
No	12	28.57%
Voters: 42. You may not vote on this poll

09-24-2003, 09:42 PM	#1
Azimaith Manshoon Join Date: July 1, 2003 Location: Hawaii Age: 38 Posts: 173	Today a Californian Arab man was fatally injured by an exploding pickle while he was microwaving it. Before he died he described the event in chilling detail. "I was microwaving the Kosher pickle in an attempt to make a dirty pickle er, sandwich pickle a little warmer because of my... uh sensitive teeth. After I set the time and stood by the microwave door. Suddenly I heard this huge explosion and I felt shards of plastic cutting my face up." He says, Thesa Fhulla Bhulla, an Islam cleric passed away in shortly after 11:00 today because of pickle related injuries to the neck and foot. The Federal Commission on Microwaving Pickle Saftey or FCMPS represntative Ben Lying cautions readers never to microwave kosher pickles, he said: "Many people don't realize just how unstable Kosher pickles are, they actually have minute amounts of Uranium in their seeds which react with microwaves causing a minature nuclear explosion when microwaved, the results tend to be bad as this tragedy clearly points out." Members from the Pickles Are Our Friends, pickle damage support group states that kosher pickles are perfectly safe as long as they are eaten cold. Under no circumstance should you ever microwave one. Thesa Fhulla Bhulla attributed his tradgic and eventually fatal pickle incident to the use of "zionist" pickles. Disclaimer: If you believe this to be true then should probably be removed from the genepool. Maybe gene pool cleansing by "pickling" would work well. Yet another ridiculous article by Azimaith. __________________ The Democrats bash the Republicans and the Republicans bash the democrats, now everyones got mud in their eyes and they can\'t see what matters.<br />Check out this site: [url]\"http://www.thehaca.com/about.htm\" target=\"_blank\">http://www.thehaca.com/about.htm</a>

09-25-2003, 02:23 AM	#2
lethoso Manshoon Join Date: March 27, 2002 Location: Brisbane, Australia Age: 38 Posts: 248	people seem to manage to kill themselves with just about anything these days, i would not be surprised if someone managed to kill themself by exploding a pickle. The actual article you wrote though, meh, coulda been done a whole lot better. __________________ the three r\'s of microsoft product support: reboot, retry, reinstall

09-25-2003, 03:25 AM	#3
Harkoliar Jack Burton Join Date: March 21, 2001 Location: Philippines, but now Harbor City Sydney Age: 41 Posts: 5,556	stupid me __________________ Catch me if you can..

09-25-2003, 05:33 AM	#5
Barry the Sprout White Dragon Join Date: October 19, 2001 Location: York, UK. Age: 41 Posts: 1,815	Whilst completely ridiculous (and I always like that) I can't actually work out what the hell the punch line of this little joke was supposed to be. Am I being really obtuse or is the humour of this just derived from an exploding pickle? Check out he Darwin awards - much, much, stranger things have happened in real life. __________________ [img]\"http://img1.ranchoweb.com/images/sproutman/certwist.gif\" alt=\" - \" /><br /><br /><i>\"And the angels all pallid and wan,<br />Uprising, unveiling, affirm,<br />That the play is the tragedy, man,<br />And its hero the Conquerer Worm.\"</i><br /> - Edgar Allan Poe

09-25-2003, 05:40 AM	#6
Luvian Ironworks Moderator Join Date: June 27, 2001 Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada Age: 43 Posts: 6,763	The story would have been a lot more believable without those stupid groups and "Ben Lying ". __________________ Once upon a time in Canada...

09-25-2003, 05:41 AM	#7
Cristian Emerald Dragon Join Date: May 12, 2002 Location: Sweden Age: 35 Posts: 992	err was it a joke? or was it true i dont get it.. O_o __________________ Reeka once told me:<br />\"Bloom Where You Are Planted\"

09-25-2003, 10:40 AM	#10
Dragonshadow Quth-Maren Join Date: February 17, 2003 Location: Portsmouth Age: 34 Posts: 4,145	Yes. What? It could be true! But it wasn't... right? Errr.... __________________ aka Loc der Graf, Quillruke

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