30 Signs Techology has taken over your life

Cloudbringer · 09-23-2001, 02:39 AM

Found this one today, thought you might enjoy it.

30 Signs That Technology Has Taken Over Your Life

1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write is letterhead.

2. You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz.

3. You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't because there isn't one typewriter in your house -- only computers with laser printers.

4. You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget to send your father a birthday card.

5. You disdain people who use low baud rates.

6. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers -- and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head.

7. You use the phrase "digital compression" in a conversation without thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it.

8. You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say the phrase "digital compression." Everyone understands what you mean, and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to explain it.

9. You know Bill Gates' e-mail address, but you have to look up your own social security number.

10. You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with "voice number," since we all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged into contraptions that talk to other contraptions.

11. You sign Christmas cards by putting

next to your signature.

12. Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than

.

13. You back up your data every day.

14. Your wife asks you to pick up some minipads for her at the store and you return with a rest for your mouse.

15. You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid.

16. On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than everyone else who is reading John Grisham novels.

17. The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music rarely enters your mind.

18. You are able to argue persuasively the Ross Perot's phrase "electronic town hall" makes more sense than the term "information superhighway," but you don't because, after all, the man still uses hand-drawn pie charts.

19. You go to computer trade shows and map out your path of the exhibit hall in advance. But you cannot give someone directions to your house without looking up the street names.

20. You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon.

21. You become upset when a person calls you on the phone to sell you something, but you think it's okay for a computer to call and demand that you start pushing buttons on your telephone to receive more information about the product it is selling.

22. You know without a doubt that disks come in five-and-a- quarter-and three-and-a-half-inch sizes.

23. Al Gore strikes you as an "intriguing" fellow.

24. You own a set of itty-bitty screw-drivers and you actually know where they are.

25. While contemporaries swap stories about their recent hernia surgeries, you compare mouse-induced index-finger strain with a nine-year-old.

26. You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough to say "I don't know" when someone asks you a technology question instead of feeling compelled to make something up.

27. You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.

28. You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal.

29. You have ended friendships because of irreconcilably different opinions about which is better -- the track ball or the track pad.

30. You understand all the jokes in this message. If so, my friend, technology has taken over your life. We suggest, for your own good, that you go lie under a tree and write a haiku. And don't use a laptop.

------------------

Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan
Storm-Queen
Raven's Cloud
StormCloud of the Black Knight: Heart Mind Soul Forever
"To sleep, perchance to dream..."

Mitro Jellywadder · 09-23-2001, 04:15 AM

Quite amusing..

09-23-2001, 04:25 AM

Oh gosh I think I'm quite guilty here.... well, maybe not THAT guilty.... I know a few people who are though. Anyway, nice piece Cloudy, thanks for posting it

Ed · 09-23-2001, 04:42 AM

ho ho ho, very funny

------------------

The REAL Minsc/Boo double act .....

Platinum Fighter of ALSB

Cloudbringer · 09-23-2001, 04:52 AM

hehe, glad you folks liked it! I got a chuckle out of several things I came across today, and if I can find any of them again I'll post more one day.

CB

------------------

Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan
Storm-Queen
Raven's Cloud
StormCloud of the Black Knight: Heart Mind Soul Forever
"To sleep, perchance to dream..."

Kaz · 09-23-2001, 06:11 AM

Nr. 28 fits for me

The toaster we have actually set a calendar on fire one day. We still use it despite the bits of molten plastic

Very good, Cloudy!

------------------

Kazara

Sapphire Dragoness of ALSB
Waitress at Cloudy's Cafe

adam warlock · 09-23-2001, 08:00 AM

#1, 3, 6, 11, 17, 22, 24, and 27 holds too true for me

------------------

bad homepage

DiabloRex · 09-23-2001, 08:12 AM

Damm! #30 is just me

oh well its been nice knowing you all

Bahamut · 09-23-2001, 08:21 AM

But then the point is, I understand almost everything so... damn it.

------------------

You guys heard Chiharumut, whattabout Ba[H]eartamut???

Lioness · 09-23-2001, 08:36 AM

LOL!!

Thanx Cloudy! *chuckle* I'm off to write haiku...

------------------

Lil' Angel

Sword Saint and Enchantress of the HADB Clan
Waitress at Cloudy's Cafe
Bestest Mate of the Cyan Knight
Lady of Jerome, The Fallen Paladin
Honored Friend of the Warrior SSJ4Sephiroth, and the Arch-Mage Jafin
PeaceKeeping Force, Intelligence Division

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09-23-2001, 02:39 AM	#1
Cloudbringer Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Upstate NY USA Posts: 19,737	Found this one today, thought you might enjoy it. 30 Signs That Technology Has Taken Over Your Life 1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty's address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two on-line services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write is letterhead. 2. You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz. 3. You need to fill out a form that must be typewritten, but you can't because there isn't one typewriter in your house -- only computers with laser printers. 4. You think of the gadgets in your office as "friends," but you forget to send your father a birthday card. 5. You disdain people who use low baud rates. 6. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a salesperson talking with customers -- and you butt in to correct him and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers' questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding his head. 7. You use the phrase "digital compression" in a conversation without thinking how strange your mouth feels when you say it. 8. You constantly find yourself in groups of people to whom you say the phrase "digital compression." Everyone understands what you mean, and you are not surprised or disappointed that you don't have to explain it. 9. You know Bill Gates' e-mail address, but you have to look up your own social security number. 10. You stop saying "phone number" and replace it with "voice number," since we all know the majority of phone lines in any house are plugged into contraptions that talk to other contraptions. 11. You sign Christmas cards by putting next to your signature. 12. Off the top of your head, you can think of nineteen keystroke symbols that are far more clever than . 13. You back up your data every day. 14. Your wife asks you to pick up some minipads for her at the store and you return with a rest for your mouse. 15. You think jokes about being unable to program a VCR are stupid. 16. On vacation, you are reading a computer manual and turning the pages faster than everyone else who is reading John Grisham novels. 17. The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music rarely enters your mind. 18. You are able to argue persuasively the Ross Perot's phrase "electronic town hall" makes more sense than the term "information superhighway," but you don't because, after all, the man still uses hand-drawn pie charts. 19. You go to computer trade shows and map out your path of the exhibit hall in advance. But you cannot give someone directions to your house without looking up the street names. 20. You would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon. 21. You become upset when a person calls you on the phone to sell you something, but you think it's okay for a computer to call and demand that you start pushing buttons on your telephone to receive more information about the product it is selling. 22. You know without a doubt that disks come in five-and-a- quarter-and three-and-a-half-inch sizes. 23. Al Gore strikes you as an "intriguing" fellow. 24. You own a set of itty-bitty screw-drivers and you actually know where they are. 25. While contemporaries swap stories about their recent hernia surgeries, you compare mouse-induced index-finger strain with a nine-year-old. 26. You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough to say "I don't know" when someone asks you a technology question instead of feeling compelled to make something up. 27. You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires. 28. You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal. 29. You have ended friendships because of irreconcilably different opinions about which is better -- the track ball or the track pad. 30. You understand all the jokes in this message. If so, my friend, technology has taken over your life. We suggest, for your own good, that you go lie under a tree and write a haiku. And don't use a laptop. ------------------ Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan Storm-Queen Raven's Cloud StormCloud of the Black Knight: Heart Mind Soul Forever "To sleep, perchance to dream..."

09-23-2001, 04:15 AM	#2
Mitro Jellywadder Quintesson Join Date: September 5, 2001 Location: Florida Age: 52 Posts: 1,016	Quite amusing..

09-23-2001, 04:25 AM	#3
Sorcerer Alex Guest Posts: n/a	Oh gosh I think I'm quite guilty here.... well, maybe not THAT guilty.... I know a few people who are though. Anyway, nice piece Cloudy, thanks for posting it

09-23-2001, 04:42 AM	#4
Ed Manshoon Join Date: August 28, 2001 Location: London(ish) England Posts: 223	ho ho ho, very funny ------------------ The REAL Minsc/Boo double act ..... Platinum Fighter of ALSB

09-23-2001, 04:52 AM	#5
Cloudbringer Ironworks Moderator Join Date: March 1, 2001 Location: Upstate NY USA Posts: 19,737	hehe, glad you folks liked it! I got a chuckle out of several things I came across today, and if I can find any of them again I'll post more one day. CB ------------------ Raindancer of the Laughing Hyenas Clan Storm-Queen Raven's Cloud StormCloud of the Black Knight: Heart Mind Soul Forever "To sleep, perchance to dream..."

09-23-2001, 06:11 AM	#6
Kaz Thoth - Egyptian God of Wisdom Join Date: August 16, 2001 Location: UK Posts: 2,891	Nr. 28 fits for me The toaster we have actually set a calendar on fire one day. We still use it despite the bits of molten plastic Very good, Cloudy! ------------------ Kazara Sapphire Dragoness of ALSB Waitress at Cloudy's Cafe

09-23-2001, 08:00 AM	#7
adam warlock Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: I live inside of my mind..... Age: 53 Posts: 3,234	#1, 3, 6, 11, 17, 22, 24, and 27 holds too true for me ------------------ bad homepage

09-23-2001, 08:12 AM	#8
DiabloRex Elminster Join Date: July 2, 2001 Location: Denmark Posts: 460	Damm! #30 is just me oh well its been nice knowing you all

09-23-2001, 08:21 AM	#9
Bahamut Iron Throne Cult Join Date: March 12, 2001 Location: Manila, Philippines Age: 39 Posts: 4,864	But then the point is, I understand almost everything so... damn it. ------------------ You guys heard Chiharumut, whattabout Ba[H]eartamut???

09-23-2001, 08:36 AM	#10
Lioness Jack Burton Join Date: June 3, 2001 Location: Among the Stars Age: 36 Posts: 5,837	LOL!! Thanx Cloudy! chuckle I'm off to write haiku... ------------------ Lil' Angel Sword Saint and Enchantress of the HADB Clan Waitress at Cloudy's Cafe Bestest Mate of the Cyan Knight Lady of Jerome, The Fallen Paladin Honored Friend of the Warrior SSJ4Sephiroth, and the Arch-Mage Jafin PeaceKeeping Force, Intelligence Division

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