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Old 05-16-2002, 10:48 AM   #11
Cloudbringer
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I agree with Sazerac here. I've dealt with lots of children, from babysitting to Sunday school teaching and I've never had to hit one to get them to comply or calm down. I don't think corproal punishment teaches anything more than as Neb said- fear or dislike of the person hitting you.

Groj- *thwack* LOL OK OK.. but you're not a kid so you aren't covered..hehe
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Old 05-16-2002, 10:49 AM   #12
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I come down strongly on the "no" side. As an adult, you have a lot more tools at your disposal than violence. If you can't figure out how to communicate with a child, you shouldn't be parenting.
 
Old 05-16-2002, 10:49 AM   #13
Sazerac
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Quote:
Originally posted by WOLFGIR:
Donīt hit the smaller ones, ever!

Better ways to deal with it. I might grab and shake but not violent if I need to stress point, but as Saz said, never ever in anger!

What do kids learn about a smack or even more violent lessons?
Thats that how to raise a kid when they have one?
Do they learn respect?
No that breed fear.

Never hit or smack children!
Wolfie, please, NEVER shake a child! That's worse than a quick swipe across the buttocks. It can cause severe medical problems, including brain trauma. For very small children, a quick tap on the arm or the hand and a firm, loud, but not angry, "No!" usually gets their attention and lets them know you mean business.

I agree with you fully, though, about violence breeding violence. Those who were beaten as kids are far more likely to perpetuate that same behavior as adults, and tend to be more confrontational and argumentative as well because of the anger they still have within them.

-Sazerac
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Old 05-16-2002, 10:53 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sazerac:

Wolfie, please, NEVER shake a child! That's worse than a quick swipe across the buttocks. It can cause severe medical problems, including brain trauma. For very small children, a quick tap on the arm or the hand and a firm, loud, but not angry, "No!" usually gets their attention and lets them know you mean business.
True: Shaken Baby Syndrome... remember all the babysitter/au-pair cases where inexperienced au pairs shook a baby and it died of the consequences?
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Old 05-16-2002, 10:56 AM   #15
WOLFGIR
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Saz, I know that issue would come up, but I am talkijng about a kid that has grown a bit better, and not shaking violent to me is to sheke it "gently" aware of the effects that it can bring.

I am very against all forms of physical mistreatments. What I meant is the shake when you grab a kid around the shoulders, (and age above 7) to get him to really look into your eyes, you donīt need much to do that, and thats what I meant. The eye contact is the important thing, the grip of the shoulders are to establish a physical contact. Heck, forget the shake at all, pinning the kid in fronmt of you and get a good eye contact is enough!

Thanks for bringing that up Saz! (I donīt have any kids and I have still alot of time to learn more! ) I posted that a bit uncareful..
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Old 05-16-2002, 10:59 AM   #16
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As with all controversial topics, there are pro and anti lobbies. If you want to start in-depth study of both sides of the arguement, here and here might be good places to start.

Being a non-breeder myself, I am not sure how I would handle this dilemma.
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Old 05-16-2002, 11:00 AM   #17
Cloudbringer
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sazerac:
Wolfie, please, NEVER shake a child! That's worse than a quick swipe across the buttocks. It can cause severe medical problems, including brain trauma. For very small children, a quick tap on the arm or the hand and a firm, loud, but not angry, "No!" usually gets their attention and lets them know you mean business.

I agree with you fully, though, about violence breeding violence. Those who were beaten as kids are far more likely to perpetuate that same behavior as adults, and tend to be more confrontational and argumentative as well because of the anger they still have within them.

-Sazerac[/QB]
YES! I can't count the number of babies we hear about on the local news who were severely injured or killed by being shaken when a parent or guardian was angry.

And for that second paragraph, I can see where that would happen and it's got to be a constant struggle for anyone who grew up that way to refrain from hitting their own children. Still, if they see that much of their anger comes from that background, I think there's a chance they can overcome it. I certainly hope so, anyway.
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Old 05-16-2002, 11:00 AM   #18
Sazerac
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Quote:
Originally posted by Melusine:
True: Shaken Baby Syndrome... remember all the babysitter/au-pair cases where inexperienced au pairs shook a baby and it died of the consequences?
We had a case like that here in the states a few years ago; an au pair girl shook the child she was caring for and it died as a result of the trauma. It was BIG in the news for awhile. I think that was like in 1999 or something like that.

Wolfie: thanks for clarifying; I understand now. [img]smile.gif[/img] Cheers!

-Sazerac
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Old 05-16-2002, 11:03 AM   #19
Sazerac
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cloudbringer:
YES! I can't count the number of babies we hear about on the local news who were severely injured or killed by being shaken when a parent or guardian was angry.

And for that second paragraph, I can see where that would happen and it's got to be a constant struggle for anyone who grew up that way to refrain from hitting their own children. Still, if they see that much of their anger comes from that background, I think there's a chance they can overcome it. I certainly hope so, anyway.
I think it can, Cloudy, but the person's esteem has to be repaired. A competent therapist can help, but it is up to the person themselves to break the cycle of abuse and anger and make that step for themselves.

Thanks,
-Saz

[ 05-16-2002, 11:04 AM: Message edited by: Sazerac ]
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Old 05-16-2002, 11:08 AM   #20
johnny
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well, you all seem very sure of yourselves on this matter but check this out: i know a guy who's happily married and has an 8 year old son, nothing ever went wrong in his life and as far as i know he never hit the boy in his entire life. But one night he wakes up because he needed to go to the bathroom, turns on the light, and there stands his son with a very, very big knife in his hands. I don't know exactly what he did then, but now they sleep with a lock on their bedroomdoor. I don't know how y'all would react, but before i would place him in some home for mentally disturbed kids, i would surely kick the living shit out of him. Rather that than i would let anything happen to my wife or myself
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