I look forward to chemistry, now!

[Dron_Cah]

Just so I might be able to use this!! (BTW, a little risque)
Enjoy!

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so
> "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
> Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying
> it as well.
>
>
> Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
> (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
> using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is
> compressed) or some variant.
>
>
>
> One student, however, wrote the following:
>
>
>
> First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
> need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
> at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once
> a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are
> leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
> different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
> religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will
> go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since
> people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all
> souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect
> the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at
> the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states
> that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same,
> the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
> This gives two possibilities:
>
>
>
> 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
> enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
> until all Hell breaks loose.
>
>
>
> 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
> Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
> over.
>
>
>
> So which is it?
>
>
>
> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
> year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and
> take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
> 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has
> already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell
> has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and
> is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the
> existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept
> shouting "Oh my God."
>
>
>
>
>
> THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

[philip]

LOL

[Sigmar]

Well deserved!

Cleverly written!

[dplax]

Saw it several years ago and could not find it again since. Thanks for the laugh.

[Vaskez]

When I first saw the thread title, I thought it meant you have a really fit chemistry teacher.

Haha, I heard the opposite one, which says that Theresa says it'll be a cold day in hell etc. and "since I still have not had sexual relations with her, hell must be exothermic".

Your version of the joke is wrong since if hell is cold, it's endothermic, drawing in all the heat from around it i.e. making it cold. In other words if the guy has slept with Theresa, he should be concluding that hell is endothermic - i.e. cold day in hell.

[Dron_Cah]

Actually, Vasky, by saying its endothermic, we are saying it is "hot." It absorbs heat from it's surroundings into the system. We assume that hell itself is the system, rather than some kind of singularity in hell. [img]tongue.gif[/img]
Point: Dron.

[Ilander]

It is especially funny that I heard this one just the other day from a physicist...

[Illumina Drathiran'ar]

Originally posted by Dron_Cah: Actually, Vasky, by saying its endothermic, we are saying it is "hot." It absorbs heat from it's surroundings into the system. We assume that hell itself is the system, rather than some kind of singularity in hell. [img]tongue.gif[/img] Point: Dron.

That also implies it absorbs heat out of its occupants, making it cold.

[RevRuby]

who cares, it's prolly been re-written so many times (or fictionally created in the first place) that we would need a chemistry professor/student to fix it. it's still funny, sincie i can never remember which endothermic/exothermic is which, i just enjoy it.

[armageddon272]

hehe, that was worth a good laugh