Umm...very important memo...(slightly mature material)

Garnet FalconDance · 02-06-2002, 10:48 AM

> > I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face. This apparently was a real memo sent by a computer company to its employees. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor!

> > Replacement of Mouse Balls:

If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform irrationally, it may need a ball replacement.

Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit).
Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending on the manufacture of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static-sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is
recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.

(Tongue firmly in cheek: I thought this was great--a real testament to how something totally innocent can be read in different ways>>>)

J'aran · 02-06-2002, 11:14 AM

ROTFL! "Any customer missing his balls..." *shudder*

Blind_Prophet · 02-06-2002, 12:13 PM

ROFLMAO! are you sure that was meant to be serious? The twist and pull method lol. That was the funniest thing i have read in awhile

Garnet FalconDance · 02-06-2002, 12:18 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Blind_Prophet:
ROFLMAO! are you sure that was meant to be serious? The twist and pull method lol. That was the funniest thing i have read in awhile

*Entirely* serious, I assure you. Look at the underneath of the basic two button mouse...twist and pull. Yikes! (looks fondly at her tracker ball mouse and wonders....hmmm, just lift the little red ball out of the socket and..... [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] .....)

Barry the Sprout · 02-06-2002, 03:03 PM

quote:
Originally posted by Garnet FalconDance:

*Entirely* serious, I assure you. Look at the underneath of the basic two button mouse...twist and pull. Yikes! (looks fondly at her tracker ball mouse and wonders....hmmm, just lift the little red ball out of the socket and..... [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] .....)

This may be evil and twisted... but it is still remarkably funny!

Blade · 02-06-2002, 03:08 PM

LOl Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls

i don't know about that one i thought all mouse balls are pretty much standarized by now.

Campino · 02-06-2002, 03:12 PM

Thank God i've never had any problems with my domestic balls.They work quite good,and were never twisted and pulled.

At work,in the hospital,we have a different way of removing balls of all sorts,small and big.But hey,we do have multiple types of computers and mouses there

Wulfere · 02-06-2002, 08:09 PM

ROFLHAO
After being in the service I can imagion someone typing that with out a clue as to it's comic potential. LOL...just too funny.

Scholarcs · 02-07-2002, 02:59 AM

You know, those little blue/grey/green things they have in the center of Toshiba notebooks (laptops) are actually called mouse nipples.

LennonCook · 02-07-2002, 03:07 AM

Ok... what if you have an optical mouse ?? [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

02-06-2002, 10:48 AM	#1
Garnet FalconDance Mephistopheles Join Date: August 30, 2001 Location: deep within the sylvan splendor.... Age: 60 Posts: 1,443	> > I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face. This apparently was a real memo sent by a computer company to its employees. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor! > > Replacement of Mouse Balls: If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform irrationally, it may need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit). Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel. Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending on the manufacture of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static-sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately. It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items. (Tongue firmly in cheek: I thought this was great--a real testament to how something totally innocent can be read in different ways>>>) __________________ "Nature tells every secret once." Ralph Waldo Emerson

02-06-2002, 12:13 PM	#3
Blind_Prophet Symbol of Cyric Join Date: November 10, 2001 Location: Yokosuka Japan Age: 38 Posts: 1,168	ROFLMAO! are you sure that was meant to be serious? The twist and pull method lol. That was the funniest thing i have read in awhile __________________ The height of narcissism

02-06-2002, 12:18 PM	#4
Garnet FalconDance Mephistopheles Join Date: August 30, 2001 Location: deep within the sylvan splendor.... Age: 60 Posts: 1,443	quote: Originally posted by Blind_Prophet: ROFLMAO! are you sure that was meant to be serious? The twist and pull method lol. That was the funniest thing i have read in awhile Entirely serious, I assure you. Look at the underneath of the basic two button mouse...twist and pull. Yikes! (looks fondly at her tracker ball mouse and wonders....hmmm, just lift the little red ball out of the socket and..... [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] .....)

02-06-2002, 03:03 PM	#5
Barry the Sprout White Dragon Join Date: October 19, 2001 Location: York, UK. Age: 41 Posts: 1,815	quote: Originally posted by Garnet FalconDance: Entirely serious, I assure you. Look at the underneath of the basic two button mouse...twist and pull. Yikes! (looks fondly at her tracker ball mouse and wonders....hmmm, just lift the little red ball out of the socket and..... [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img] .....) This may be evil and twisted... but it is still remarkably funny! __________________ [img]\"http://img1.ranchoweb.com/images/sproutman/certwist.gif\" alt=\" - \" /><br /><br /><i>\"And the angels all pallid and wan,<br />Uprising, unveiling, affirm,<br />That the play is the tragedy, man,<br />And its hero the Conquerer Worm.\"</i><br /> - Edgar Allan Poe

02-06-2002, 03:08 PM	#6
Blade Emerald Dragon Join Date: March 12, 2001 Location: spokane wa usa Age: 40 Posts: 926	LOl Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls i don't know about that one i thought all mouse balls are pretty much standarized by now. __________________ <br /><br />All blades cut, be they made from metal or wood, but the sharpest and deadliest blade is the one of knowledge, and that is the least used.<br />An Archmage of the HADB

02-06-2002, 11:14 AM	#2
J'aran Mephistopheles Join Date: December 12, 2001 Location: Fryslân, The Netherlands Age: 44 Posts: 1,493	ROTFL! "Any customer missing his balls..." shudder

02-06-2002, 03:12 PM	#7
Campino Avatar Join Date: November 12, 2001 Location: Netherlands Age: 55 Posts: 522	Thank God i've never had any problems with my domestic balls.They work quite good,and were never twisted and pulled. At work,in the hospital,we have a different way of removing balls of all sorts,small and big.But hey,we do have multiple types of computers and mouses there __________________

02-06-2002, 08:09 PM	#8
Wulfere Red Wizard of Thay Join Date: March 20, 2001 Location: Lincoln, Nebraska USA Age: 63 Posts: 893	ROFLHAO After being in the service I can imagion someone typing that with out a clue as to it's comic potential. LOL...just too funny.

02-07-2002, 02:59 AM	#9
Scholarcs Red Dragon Join Date: December 5, 2001 Location: Auckland, New Zealand Age: 38 Posts: 1,557	You know, those little blue/grey/green things they have in the center of Toshiba notebooks (laptops) are actually called mouse nipples. __________________ <br />\"A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five\" - Groucho Marx<br />Member of the ORT Clan. <br />\"Some birds are not meant to be caged because their feathers are too bright\"<br />Ma bouche sera la bouche des malheurs qui n\'ont point de bouche, ma voix, la liberté de celles qui s\'affaissent au cachot du désespoir. - Aimé Césaire<br />La plus perdue de toutes les journées est celle où l\'on n\'a pas ri. - Sébastien Roch Nicolas

02-07-2002, 03:07 AM	#10
LennonCook Jack Burton Join Date: November 10, 2001 Location: Bathurst & Orange, in constant flux Age: 37 Posts: 5,452	Ok... what if you have an optical mouse ?? [img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]

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