Signs

[Arvon]

Real Signs
The following are real signs, observed around the globe.


On a plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

Outside a maternity clothes shop: "We are open on Labor Day."

On the trucks of a plumbing company in Pennsylvania: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

At a tire repair shop: "Invite us to your next blowout."

Pizza shop slogan: "Seven days without pizza makes one weak."

At a tattoo parlor: "Tattoos done while you wait."

In an office: "After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board."

Outside a Las Vegas motel: "This motel highly recommended by owner."


At a Santa Fe gas station: "We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container."

On a pet shop: "All birds going cheap."

Sign in the middle of a field: "The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but the bull charges."

In a New York restaurant: "Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager."

Outside a furniture store in Virginia: "Antique tables made here daily."

Seen during a conference: "For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care on the first floor."

On the wall of a Baltimore estate: "Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. Sisters of Mercy."

On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: "Thirty-eight years on the same spot."

In a safari park: "Elephants please stay in your car."

On the front of a Catholic elementary school: "Jesus is coming. No Bingo Sunday."

In a Los Angeles dance hall: "Good clean dancing every night but Sunday."

In an office: "Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken."

In a Florida maternity ward: "No children allowed."

In a New York drugstore: "We dispense with accuracy."

On a repair shop door: "We can repair anything. (Please knock hard on the door, the bell doesn't work.)"


On a taxidermist's window: We really know our stuff.


In the offices of a loan company: "Ask about our plans for owning your home."

In a laundromat: "Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out."

In a New York medical building: "Mental Health Prevention Center."

On a New York convalescent home: "For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church."

In a dry cleaner's window: "Anyone leaving their garments here for more than 30 days will be disposed of."

On a Maine shop: "Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship."

At a number of military bases: "Restricted to unauthorized personnel."

On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs."

In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: "Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work."

In a funeral parlor: "Ask about our layaway plan."

In a clothing store: "Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks."

In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: "15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!"

Outside a country shop: "We buy junk and sell antiques."

In the window of an Oregon store: "Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?"

In a Maine restaurant: "Open seven days a week and weekends."

On a radiator repair garage: "Best place to take a leak."

[Vaskez]

Hehe yeah oldies but good ones. Haven't seen some of those for years, thanks for the reminder.

[Intrepid]

The smart ones that are actually well thought out are best, although the ones that say things they're not ment to are good too. [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img]

[dplax]

Good ones, already knew about half of them, the rest were new to me.

[Jorath Calar]

"Jesus is coming. No Bingo Sunday."

He must be pissed... [img]smile.gif[/img]

[Illumina Drathiran'ar]

At a gynecologist's office: "Dr Jones, at your cervix!"

At a clothing store: "Ladies have fits upstairs."


And to all of you who enjoy this type of thing, I recommend the site engrish.com and the book "Free Drinks For Ladies With Nuts"... Both are excellent, in my opinion.

[ 02-03-2004, 10:48 AM: Message edited by: Illumina Drathiran'ar ]

[Nerull]

Lol...some of those are hilarious!

[LordKathen]

Great stuff Arvon! [img]graemlins/awesomework.gif[/img] My favorite:

On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: "Now available in multi-packs."


[ 02-04-2004, 09:40 AM: Message edited by: LordKathen ]

[ryaldin]

"Parking for Drive-thru customers only."

"Road wet when raining."

brilliant.

[Arvon]

Saw this on an Icecream Dlivery truck yesterday. " Driver does not carry spoons"