03-11-2001, 02:57 AM | #11 |
Ironworks Moderator
Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Upstate NY USA
Posts: 19,737
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Gabriel...FUNNY!!! hehehe
Cloudy ------------------ Storm-Queen Purple Rose of the Black Knight |
03-11-2001, 03:01 AM | #12 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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cloudsylph, check yer mail
------------------ When given a choice, take both. |
03-11-2001, 03:07 AM | #13 |
Jack Burton
Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Airstrip One
Age: 40
Posts: 5,571
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It's often said that if you drop a piece of toast it always lands butter side down on the floor.
If you drop a cat it always lands on it's feet. What happens if you strap a piece of toast, butter side up onto the back of a cat and drop them from a height? ------------------ The Truth is in the Profile |
03-11-2001, 03:09 AM | #14 |
Emerald Dragon
Join Date: March 4, 2001
Location: England
Age: 41
Posts: 920
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You'll go to jail.
[This message has been edited by Gabriel (edited 03-11-2001).] |
03-11-2001, 04:45 AM | #15 |
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Delaware OH USA
Age: 47
Posts: 3,168
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Why is Abbreviated such a long word?
When you send Styrofoam somewhere, what do you package it in? I could go on . . . BK |
03-11-2001, 07:22 AM | #16 |
Jack Burton
Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Airstrip One
Age: 40
Posts: 5,571
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Why is dyslexic so hard to spell?
------------------ The Truth is in the Profile |
03-11-2001, 07:25 AM | #17 |
Anubis
Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Up in the Freedomland Alps
Age: 59
Posts: 2,474
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LOL Donut ! Funny as always.
------------------ |
03-11-2001, 09:04 AM | #18 |
Lord Ao
Join Date: March 3, 2001
Location: London, England
Age: 30
Posts: 2,021
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How does the bloke who drives a snow plough get to work in the morning?
Why is abbreviated such a long word? Why do kamikaze pilots wear crash helmets? Why is there only one monopolies comission? I could go on..........and on............and on ------------------ One love, peace. |
03-11-2001, 09:09 AM | #19 |
Lord Ao
Join Date: March 3, 2001
Location: London, England
Age: 30
Posts: 2,021
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Just nicked this off of my brothers website. Posted by his mate Coda regarding strange labelling etc.
On a blanket from Taiwan - NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO. On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists - REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU. On a Taiwanese shampoo - USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE. On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink - AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT. On a New Zealand insect spray - THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS. In a US guide to setting up a new computer - TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.) On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids - LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET. In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles - OPEN OTHER END. On a packet of Sunmaid raisins - WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL? On a Sears hairdryer - DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING. On a bag of Fritos - YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The shoplifter special!) On a bar of Dial soap - DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. (And that would be how?) On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) - DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. (Too late! You lose!) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding - PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.) On a Korean kitchen knife - WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN. (Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?) On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY. (As opposed to use in outer space?) On a Japanese food processor - NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE. (Now I'm curious.) On Sainsbury's peanuts - WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS. (Really? And that's bad why?) On an American Airlines packet of nuts INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS. (I'm glad they cleared that up.) On a Swedish chainsaw - DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS. (What kind of consumer phone-call led to this warning?) On a child's superman costume - WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!) On some frozen dinners: SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: FITS ONE HEAD. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY. On Boot's "Children's" cough medicine: DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY. On Nytol sleep aid: WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. Cracked me right up ------------------ One love, peace. |
03-11-2001, 09:12 AM | #20 |
Anubis
Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: Up in the Freedomland Alps
Age: 59
Posts: 2,474
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LOL Charlie !
Are these really true ? ------------------ |
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