02-18-2003, 09:20 AM | #1 |
Symbol of Cyric
Join Date: March 29, 2001
Location: Twititania, Europe
Age: 63
Posts: 1,221
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NOTIFICATION OF COMPULSORY ENLISTMENT
> Under the Emergency Powers Act (1939), as amended by the Defence > Act(1978), you are hereby notified that you are required to place > yourself on standby for possible compulsory military service in the > American Conflict. You may shortly be ordered to depart for the Middle > East where you will join either the 3rd Battalion The Queen's Own > Suicidal Conscripts or the 2nd Foot and Mouth. The regulars are too > busy driving Green Goddesses to be there themselves. Due to the recent > rundown of the Navy and the refusal of P&O to lend us any of their > liners, because of the deplorable state in which they were returned > after previous adventures in the Falklands and the Gulf, it will be > necessary for you to make your own way to the combat zone. H.M. > Government has been able to negotiate a 20% discount on one way trips > with Virgin Airlines and you are strongly urged to take advantage of > this offer - RyanAir also do a nice little £9.99 trip. Because of > cutbacks in Government expenditure in recent years it will be > necessary for you to provide yourself with the following equipment as > soon as possible: Combat Jacket Trousers (preferably khaki - but, > please, no denim) Tin helmet Boots (or a pair of sturdy trainers) > Canteen (for holding water, not a selection of cutlery) Gas mask Map > of the combat zone (the Ordinance Survey 1:2,800 Outdoor Leisure Map > of Iraq will do) Rifle Ammunition (preferably to suit previous item) > Suntan oil > > If you are in a position to afford it, we would like you to buy a tank > - > Vickers Defence of Leeds are currently offering all new conscripts a > 0% finance deal on all X registration Chieftains, but hurry, as offer > is only available whilst stocks last. We would like to reassure you > that in the unlikely event of anything going wrong, you will receive a > free burial in the graveyard of your choice, and your next of kin will > be entitled to the new War Widows pension of £1.75 per calendar month, > index-linked but subject to means testing, and fully repayable should > our side eventually lose. There may be little time for formal military > training before your departure and so we advise that you hire videos > of the following films and try and pick up a few tips as you watch: > The Guns of Navarone Kelly's Heroes A Bridge too Far The Longest Day > Apocalypse Now The Matrix Blazing Saddles The Desert Song Mary Poppins > > We do not recommend that you watch Khartoum. > To mentally prepare yourself for your mission try reading the works of > Wilfred Owen or Rupert Brookes. This should give you some idea of what > may be involved. Yours faithfully, > > G Hoon > Secretary of State for Defence > (A Bush/Blair Production) > Sponsored by Mars, the official snack of World War III > [ 02-18-2003, 09:20 AM: Message edited by: Lanesra ] |
02-18-2003, 09:29 AM | #2 |
Ma'at - Goddess of Truth & Justice
Join Date: October 31, 2002
Location: Western Australia
Age: 43
Posts: 3,293
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[img]graemlins/hehe.gif[/img]
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Say say, oh playmate i cannot play with you my dolly's got the flu boo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo |
02-18-2003, 10:55 AM | #3 |
Zartan
Join Date: March 1, 2001
Location: London, England
Age: 53
Posts: 5,164
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Very good [img]smile.gif[/img]
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[img]\"http://www.wizardrealm.com/images/epona.gif\" alt=\" - \" /> |
02-18-2003, 12:08 PM | #4 |
Avatar
Join Date: June 8, 2001
Location: The forest
Posts: 526
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lol, very good indeed [img]smile.gif[/img]
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02-18-2003, 03:49 PM | #5 |
Dracolisk
Join Date: November 1, 2002
Location: Australia ..... G\'day!
Posts: 6,123
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D'oh ...ok you got me I was sucked in, there is me thinking oh no poor bugger I hope... then I began to read .... hope they send you on the first plane over now [img]graemlins/kidding.gif[/img] [img]tongue.gif[/img]
good post *grumble*
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fossils - natures way of laughing at creationists for over 3 billion years |
02-18-2003, 05:52 PM | #6 |
Symbol of Cyric
Join Date: May 12, 2002
Location: Atlanta
Age: 36
Posts: 1,360
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LOL when i read the title i thought the draft was back, whew haha that scared the crap out of me
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<br /> <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[music04]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/music04.gif\" /> Live to Rock, Rock to Live <img border=\"0\" alt=\"[rocking2]\" title=\"\" src=\"graemlins/rocking2.gif\" /> <br />[url]\"http://www.livejournal.com/users/Xero279\" target=\"_blank\">...From The Mind of Xero</a> |
02-18-2003, 10:01 PM | #7 |
40th Level Warrior
Join Date: March 24, 2002
Posts: 10,215
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shesh! I thought that England FA has called you up to help Eriksson to manage the England squad. [img]tongue.gif[/img]
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02-18-2003, 10:21 PM | #8 |
Ironworks Atomic Moderator
Join Date: January 7, 2001
Location: Virginia, U.S.A.
Age: 57
Posts: 9,005
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ROTFL Lanesra, very good!
LOL what the hell is that thing above me, and can I kill it?! |
02-18-2003, 10:30 PM | #9 |
Lord Ao
Join Date: August 25, 2001
Location: Winchester ,Virginia , United States
Age: 71
Posts: 2,081
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Answer to 1st question? You tell me Ladyzekke and we'll both know!
Answer to 2nd question? with both hands tied behind your back and blind folded!!!
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Remember these are just games so don't get too upset when you get your ass handed to you in a hat box |
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