JJ (and Vicotnik) invite you in 4 laughs-PG13-G

>A Doctor's Rounds...
> > >
> > > Sometimes the truth is more amusing than fiction:
> > >
> > > A man comes into the ER and yells "My wife's going to have her baby
> > > in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted he
> >lady's
> > > dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that
> >there
> > > are
> > > several cabs, and I was in the wrong one.
> > >


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Unstinting Gaurdian of Children
Defender of Those Unable To
And...
Because Sometimes They're Wrapped Too Tight, I could have been The Resident Corset Loosener Of The Moon's Hope Inn Ladies Guild (in training)

Subject: Old Nun
> > >
> > >Now don't all my Catholic friends get their panty's in a wad and don't
> > >email
> > >me for 6 months. Ya' all don'f have Irish names neither. Have a Happy
> > >Halloween.
> > >
> > >
> > >A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't
> > >stop staring at her. She asks him why is
> > >he staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I don't want
> > >to
> > >offend you. She answers, 'My dear son, you cannot offend me. When
>you're
> > >as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, you get a chance to
> > >see
> > >and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could
>say
> > >or ask that I would find offensive."
> > > "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
> > > She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have
> > >to
> > >be single and #2 you must be Catholic.
> > >" The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single and I'm
> > >Catholic !" The nun says "OK, pull into
> > >the next alley." He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they
> > >get
> > >back on the road, the cab driver starts
> > >crying. "My dear child, said the nun,why are you crying?" "Forgive me
> > >sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I'm married and I'm
> > >Jewish."
> > >The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a
>Halloween
> > >party


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Unstinting Gaurdian of Children
Defender of Those Unable To
And...
Because Sometimes They're Wrapped Too Tight, I could have been The Resident Corset Loosener Of The Moon's Hope Inn Ladies Guild (in training)

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up
their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes
his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it
tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially
billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn
is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a
quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is
all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day
tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. "Watson, you
idiot, someone has stolen our tent."

-------------------------------------------------------------
Funny Thoughts
"Over?! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?"
- John Blutarsky.
-------------------------------------------------------------

QUICK WIT:

Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the
way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while
healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front of the store.



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Unstinting Gaurdian of Children
Defender of Those Unable To

I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are:
eating too much,
impulse buying,
and driving too fast.
Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.




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Unstinting Gaurdian of Children
Defender of Those Unable To

[Drake]

LOL stop your killing me

------------------


Drake A.K.A. bocaj

>
> A blonde decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no
> lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and
the
> horse immediately springs into motion.
>
> It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde
begins to
> slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane,
> but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries
> to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the
side
of
> the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to
> its slipping rider. Finally, giving up, her frail blonde attempts to
leap
> away from the
> horse and throw herself to safety.
>
> Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is
now
at
> the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck
against
the
> ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground,
she
> is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune
.....
>
> Bob, the Walmart greeter, sees her and unplugs the horse.
>


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Unstinting Gaurdian of Children
Defender of Those Unable To

[Drake]

LOL I mean it your killing me LOL

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Drake A.K.A. bocaj

Subject: New Drug
>
> This is very unusual for me. I'm not generally inclined to
> pass on un-proven financial advice.
>
> But yesterday, I heard from a drug rep for Glaxo who told me
> that they are on the verge of launching a new herbal remedy
> that they think will take the market by storm. This drug
> sounds so promising that I want to suggest to my friends and
> family that they consider buying stock in the company.
>
> The drug is called "Ginko Viagra," and its function is
> to help you remember what the ■■■■ you are doing.
>


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Unstinting Gaurdian of Children
Defender of Those Unable To

Hillary Clinton died and went to heaven. As she stood in
front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall
of clocks behind him.
She asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth
has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock
will move."
"Oh," said Hillary, "who's clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved
indicating that she never told a lie."
"Whose clock is that?"
"That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have only moved
twice, telling us that Abe only told 2 lies in his entire
life."
Hillary asked, "Where's Bill's clock?"
"Bill's clock is in my office. I'm using it as a ceiling
fan."



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Unstinting Gaurdian of Children
Defender of Those Unable To

-------------------------------------------------------------
Funny Thoughts
"The triumph of hope over experience." - Samuel Johnson, on second
marriages
-------------------------------------------------------------

QUICK WIT:

Only in America... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and
buns in packages of eight.



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Unstinting Gaurdian of Children
Defender of Those Unable To