How would you respond???

[johnny]

Aviendha, stop thinking of this guy as your friend, he obviously has other feelings. This is no advice, but i'd bitchslap him around the parkinglot a couple of times(don't do that),who needs enemies with friends like that ?

[Melusine]

Originally posted by The Hunter of Jahanna: Definately confront them. Talk to your boss about it , then get this person and your boss and you together and ask about what happened. They will either fess up that they told the boss in wich case you can be indignant and write them off as a friend OR They will LIE to your bosses face and deny they ever said anything. Either way it clears the air and makes the back stabber look liks an A$$h01e.

I agree with this - talk it over with your boss, explain that you'd like to clear the matter up, and arrange a little talk with your colleague, with your boss present. No matter how your colleague reacts, he'll look like an asshole.

I'm sorry this happened to you, Aviendha, what a nasty thing to do

[ 06-14-2002, 06:18 AM: Message edited by: Melusine ]

I have had similar situation at work. Essentially I just denied such allegations and stated I was prepared to reiterate this with the colleague there

She was, how shall we say, "re-assigned"

[Cerek the Barbaric]

I have had the same problem, Aviendha.

I started working in the Purchasing Dept. of our local hospital in 1991. About 6 months after I was hired, our manager hired another guy. We got along for awhile, but then I started getting the feeling that he and the mgr were becoming "good buddies" and planning my demise behind my back. Too bad for them....the mgr was fired before his plans could come to fruition. We went for about a month before a new manager was hired.

As soon as the new boss came in, this guy started a full-scale campaign to make me look as bad as possible. He was always in the boss' office (for up to an hour at a time) talking about various things (I could see into the office, but would not get close enough to "eavesdrop"). Anyway, while I never "caught him red-handed"...it was obvious what he was up to. I got REALLY stressed out over what to do. That made matters worse since I have a chronic illness that "flares up" when I get stressed.

Well, to make a long story short, I decided to simply let this guy hang himself. I couldn't stop him from telling the boss a bunch of lies about me...so I decided to just go in and do my job so that the boss would see for himself what kind of person the co-worker was.

IT WORKED!!! He finally left the hospital for another job. Years later, when another position came open in the dept., my new co-worker (that I got along with well) suggested my boss could re-hire my old nemisis (he was joking).

The boss just looked at him and said "He is NOT eligible for re-hire."

Ignoring this guys antics wasn't easy - especially since it was going on right in front of my face - but it paid off in the end.

Your co-worker has now marked himself as somebody that can't be trusted. He has destroyed his credibility with your boss. Hopefully, your boss has explained this to H.R. Either way, your boss now knows that this other person is a liar and a troublemaker. He will be watching closely from now on.

Do not retaliate on your own. That will only cause you more trouble. Keep your contact with this person to a minimum. When you do have to be around them, keep your conversation brief and businesslike. Your "friend" will notice the change in your demeanor and will know that it has to do with your meeting in H.R. However, they will NOT know what happened in the meeting (since that is confidential). All they will know is that you DIDN'T get fired and that you seem to know he/she tried to set you up. They will then do one of two things - 1)leave you alone and move on to the next target (not likely), or 2) try again - a little harder this time. Be prepared. Make sure your job performance is above reproach.

If they do try this again, your boss is more likely to take THEM to H.R., since he knows their true nature now. Eventually, this joker will either give up or get fired for his/her antics.

[Melusine]

Originally posted by Cerek the Barbaric: Do not retaliate on your own. That will only cause you more trouble.

I absolutely agree with that - try to solve the matter by talking, sure: it will only make you look sensible and responsible. Doing childish stuff to piss off your co-worker, however, would be the stupidest thing to do - because you'd be stooping to their level and proving you are no better than them.

[Deathcow]

Originally posted by Melusine: quote: Originally posted by Cerek the Barbaric: Do not retaliate on your own. That will only cause you more trouble.

I absolutely agree with that - try to solve the matter by talking, sure: it will only make you look sensible and responsible. Doing childish stuff to piss off your co-worker, however, would be the stupidest thing to do - because you'd be stooping to their level and proving you are no better than them.[/QUOTE]i think this is the best advice given so far [img]smile.gif[/img]

revenge isnt the best thing...but i wouldnt even talk to the person unless your job requires it....or its an apology! even if he/she apologizes, though, they have shattered any possibility of trusting them...ever...

sorry to hear about that

[Yorick]

Originally posted by Cerek the Barbaric: Do not retaliate on your own. That will only cause you more trouble.

Great advice.

A lawsuit would be a really bad move IMO. Just do your job and rise above the situation.

[Elif Godson]

Dont you just love people like that. One of my friends was working
with my wife and at a conveinent store, he was the manager. And some how every other night my wifes dawer would be off 20 dollars. Now my wife may not be a mathmatician, but she knows how to add and subtract
and keep track of money, her drawers are almost always perfect if there off, it would only be by a few pennies. Well needless to say she
she was warned by the store owner about this and she dinied it, so one night she watched him do it and low and behold he slipped a 20 into his pocket. She told the owner the following day about it and he said he would "look" into it. Needless to say his idea of looking into
it was to say it right in front her with him right there, "My friend
said some very spiteful and mean things about my wife and even threatend her, which is where I had to draw the line. She called me
from work and I told her to quit and I will wait for him when he get's home. he lived right next door stupid boy. so to make a long story short we arent friends anymore and he did get caught stealing from the store a few month's later by doing the same thing to another woman.
I know I didnt give you any advice here, but there is a moral that goes alnog with the rest of what has been said, give them enough rope, eventually they will hang themselves. And in my case he got a good beating also