Things We've Learned From Movies

[Nerull]

B movies site

This guy comes up with a list of "what he learned from the movie" for each of the movies he reviews. He has some really good ones.

Oh, and great ones posted here as well (cool link, Gnarf!). Some I would add:

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• If the hero has a secret identity, any villian that discovers it will die after confronting the hero.</font>
• With all of the alien/interdimensional races out there, everyone always speaks one language (especially when talking amongst themselves, away from everyone else).</font>
• No matter how beat up the hero is, their inherent goodness causes them to instantly be refreshed when they need to beat the villian.</font>
• Touch a match or torch to anything and it will go up like dry tinder.</font>
• If the villian is shown to have a softer side, then they'll do something really nasty right before facing the hero for the last time.</font>
• Anyone who knows martial arts is automatically more fit/competent than anyone else.</font>
• Prostitutes all have hearts of gold and are sages when it comes to helping the hero with advice.</font>
• Heroes, no matter how much crashing, traffic, damage to vehicle, etc. will never die in a vehicle accident while chasing the villian.</font>
• You can never defeat a villian the first time you meet them.</font>
• Never trust the family advisor/close friend. They work for the villian.</font>
• Heroes can take on technologically advanced bad guys with primitive equipment and win.</font>
• Guards are never competent or alert.</font>
• Guards also will open the cell and run in without looking around if the hero sets up a diversion.</font>

That's all I can think of at the moment....

[Azred]

<font color = lightgreen>Any car involved in an accident will a) fly through the air and crash through a window, b) roll over, c)explode, or d) some combination of a, b, and c.

If you are the male lead in a romantic comedy, relax! You will get the girl in the end, no matter what kind of jerk you might have been during the movie.

Psychotic maniacs never die.

Don't bother trying to alert anyone. No one wants to hear about the Creepy Nameless Thing from Another Dimension That Wants to Suck Out Your Soul, or that it is jiggling and quivering down the street right now....

All ancient prophesies are true, and are about to become reality any second now.</font>

[Faceman]

+ all beds come with L-shaped covers (waist for men and chest for women)
+ You don't have to look at the road while driving
+ If there's an obstacle on the road people will always swerve and never brake.
+ bullets always spark when they hit something
+ when a pistol is empty the slide doesn't move back
+ any minor fire explosion will make any building/vehicle blow up as a whole as if it was packed up with Nitro

[ 11-07-2003, 04:06 AM: Message edited by: Faceman ]

[Faceman]

oh, and on that note check out www.nitpickers.com
they have a HUGE collection about plot flaws, technical or historical errors but also other small stuff you might never notice watching a movie for almost every flick.

[Zuvio]

<font color=gold>
You don't need to actually drink to get drunk! Just move the beverage close to your mouth and thats it!

You never have to lock you car, cuz it will never get stolen, even in ghetto's!

When driving around in your car, you enjoy the BEST steering-empowering there is in the world: you can turn your steer 90 degrees and you wont deviate one bit!

If someone tells you he can kill you in an instant at anytime, you'll probably end up killing him.
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[SpiritWarrior]

Originally posted by Melusine: Cool topic. When you're all alone at home and there's a homicidal maniac out to get you, you should dress in your skimpiest negligée and walk through the hallway, which will immediately go drafty and grow twice as long. When a man and a woman wake up together, there are a few things I always notice: Sheets in movies are always L-shaped, reaching waisthigh for guys but up to the neck for women. The women always wear perfect make-up and their hairspray must be something amazing because there's never a hair out of place. Also, there's no such thing as bad morning breath: people waking up with invariably start kissing, even if they had chilli or a boozefest the previous night. Oh, and they never need a morning piss either, in fact no one in a movie ever needs the bathroom at all. People in movies never need to pay for their drinks and food in bars and restaurants, and usually they've barely sipped their drinks before leaving again. People know all the telephone numbers of any person they might need to call by heart and they never need to specify a date, location or time when they make appointments. When people do their groceries (it's rare in movies though) they always get a free leek or a baguette so it will stick out of their shopping bag. Never buy oranges - the paper bag you carry them in will invariably tear (but the person who helps you pick them up is probably the love of your life) Never shower during the day - you will die. Especially if you've closed the shower curtain or if you're pretty. Locks can be opened in about 10 seconds with a credit card or a bit of wire, unless it's the lock to a burning building with a helpless child or woman in it. "Ugly" girls always wear huge glasses with thick rims. When the hero convinces them to take them off, all of a sudden they're the prettiest girls in town. When a man so much as kisses a woman's neck, she's in pure exstacy and immediately "ready for it" It's easier for one guy with six bullets to kill an entire regiment of bad guys than it is for three bad guys with automatic guns to kill a single guy.

ROFL! I love the grocery one cuz It's true.

[Xen]

Also...

They never lock their car(s) and ....the bad guy ALWAYS survives and wants to kill the hero and then his faithuful partner recues him from certain death... [img]tongue.gif[/img]

[Horatio]

- The cutest girl is always standing alone by the bar.

- Never get friendly with anyone twice your age...they will attempt to become your mentor, then be struck down by the villain.

- Every chain-link fence can be scaled in seconds

- Don't bother aiming, you'll hit the foot soldiers with ease!

- The good guy can slaughter hundreds of villains and there'll never be an inquiry

- In the sequel you'll probably die or come out of retirement.

[Nerull]

Some additions:
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• The protagonist during a war can ride/run around out in the open where anyone can see him, yet the only people that will target him (other than a few "peons" to show the hero killing enemies) are enemy leaders.</font>
• There is no such thing as defense in boxing.</font>
• If you get fatally injured, and you have something to say, you can always linger around long enough to say whatever is on your mind.</font>
• When being hunted by a serial killer, it is natural for people to split up, go into dark places, and otherwise make themselves easy targets.</font>
• Whenever bad things are about to happen, it is always stormy/lightning outside.</font>
• People who are about to die by some horrible creature just stand there frozen and screaming (or if they run, then they fall and twist their ankle).</font>
• If the guy is completely obsessive about chasing the girl he will win her heart (and you wonder why there are so many stalkers out there?).</font>
• Intelligent and scholarly types always wear glasses.</font>
• Every old mansion has secret passageways.</font>
• Anyone who washes their face by the bathroom mirror, opens the medicine cabinet, etc. is going to die (and they will always see the killer in the mirror before they die).</font>

[cloud ff7 38]

What about
Even when your in an open field or running down an alley way there is always a place you cant jump into to get away from people chasing you.