The Magnificent Adventure of Jerr Quickfoot, Halfling Thief and Swordsman

[Jerr Conner]

Chapter Seven: Smugglers and Sendai's Enclave

We had heard of some caves that Smugglers were using so we decided to go see what we could buy there. Upon entering, we saw some monks harrasing the smugglers. Stupid monks, always harrassing people. Of course this was one of those times where I meant to think it but instead said it.

The monks attacked, we made short work of them. I don't take chances with monks, and a few of us knew the Whirlwind Attack techniques so we used them!

As a reward the smugglers gave us a discount.

Then we headed to Sendai's Enclave, where we met a woodsman who said something strange was going on in the forest. Being the cautious type, I scouted ahead and found some graves that looked suspiciously new despite the way the headstones looked. When I asked the woodsman of this, he turned into a Drow, screamed "Hari Kari!", and impaled himself on his own sword! So much for asking nicely...

We cast some protection spells (for safety, he can't be the only Drow in an area where Sendai, a Drow, is) after searching his cabin, and headed to the forest clearing where we were attacked by Elder Umber Hulks and a Hive Mother! One Dragon Breath spell's bad dragon breath, which Imoen had cast, took care of them.

Then we entered Sendai's Enclave. We were expecting quite a few fights on the way. Unfortunately, Sendai's minions would scream "For Sendai, HARI KARI!" and would impale themselves on whatever weapon they had! Even a lich did this!

The only two who didn't do this was the captain of the slaves and another Drow captain hanging out with an old friend of ours. The Beholder Spectator decided to help us get by easily by casting a Geas on the Drow Band that would kill them all if their captain died. Of course, I cheated by taking an Invisi potion and backstabbing the Drow, to which he said "My chest!" and died

Our friend thanked us. Said we should do lunch sometime.

Finally, after more suicides for Sendai, we met my sister who was crying about how all of her followers were so fanatical that they all up and commited suicide for her! I tried to comfort her, but she got mad and attacks! The battle was long and hard, but I managed to kill her.

Then I got whisked away to the Pocket Plane to have a conversation with my future self. After that I took the third test and passed.

Off-Topic: Two Sendai Quotes I love!

[Jerr Conner]

Chapter Eight: The Battles With Abazigal and Balthazar

We found out the hard way that Abazigal is a half-dragon when in the middle of battle his son Draconis turned into a dragon. Bollocks! So I quickly snuck away to set traps while the others distracted him. Imoen really did not want the image of Bhaal mating a dragon in her head! Unfortunately, Sola and Jaheira died in the fight. After we slew Draconnis, we ressurected them.

Then after a rest, we entered Abazigal's lair. Some Lesser Earth Elementals attacked so Jaheira decided to show them what a real Earth Elemental could do by transforming into one I swear, she enjoys being an Elemental more than being a half-elf these days.

Then we had to traverse various water tunnels to get around. The first one we went into lead to a place where we could get a few water-breathing potions. Then the second lead to some Kua-Toa. A few fireballs took care of them. Is it so wrong to eat Kua-Toa flesh? They were cooked! As a side-note, they taste like tuna.

We encountered a tortured Monk in one cell and he gave us some useful info about the lair. There's a dragon under a Geas in one part and according to the monk, she'd appreciate being freed.

Then the monk died. Aerie felt bad, she couldn't do anything for him.

After that we battled a whole bunch of floating eyeballs. Then a wizard offered us a scroll that would reverse the geas if we got him a Guath Eyestalk. Considering my laziness, it was just much easier to turn the statues near the wizard back to people so they could get it. That Bondari Quickhand sure is cute! I wondered if his hand was as quick as his name implied? Of course, Sola got jealous, but I pointedly reminded him that he was the one who wanted an "Open Relationship".

After getting the eyestalk for us, Bondari and friends went off on their own, 100 gold richer. Then we freed the dragon, who told us to make sure Abazigal suffered before dying. She wants it to be akin to the pain that my now infamous battle with Lord Roenall caused!

Then we battled Abazigal. Thank Brandobaris he's much weaker than his son!

After being whisked away again, I got to talk with my brother Yaga-Shura at my pocket plane. I asked him how Hell was, he said it's nice in the winter but far too hot in the summer [img]tongue.gif[/img] He also passingly mentioned Balthazar was one of the Five. We were teleported back to Abazigal's lair.

Then Elminster talked to us. He said Saemon Havarian was they key to getting into the Monastary to battle Balthazar. I knew that guy would finally have a use!

At Amkethran, we talked to Saemon and he agreed that if we didn't let Jaheira use her spears and quarterstaffs in ways that would have him grimacing in pain each time he sits for the next 5 years, he'd get us in. Jaheira was disappointed.

Saemon helped us in the Monastary. It was a little suspicious but he mentioned to the people that he owed me one so didn't drug me Good ol' Saemon.

After Aerie, Imoen, and Sola cast Comet on the mages, we easily finished off the rest of the "ambushers". Then we entered the Monastary to talk to my brother.

Well, he said after he wipes the taint of Bhaal from Faerun he'll commit ritualistic suicide. Which means he wanted to kill me. Well, I wasn't about to let that happen, considering Bhaal would be ressurected if we died, so we got in a fight! After introducing my brother to the pointy end of my sword, I got whisked away yet again.

And found out Mellisan was a high priestess of Bhaal and she wanted to be the new Lady of Murder. Oh and also the Lady of Rainbows. I don't know how that's possible.

[Jerr Conner]

Chapter Nine: Mellisan Otherwise Known As Amellysan the Black-Hearted Bitch

After passing the last test, I dropped off all of my friends at the Desert city of Amekthran and the Party and I went to the Throne of Bhaal to show A-Smelly-Whiner's posterior the end of my Boot of Speed's Heel. The first with her was easy enough, but she eventually ran off whining she had to get more power! I quickly lay some traps while she was gone and we all headed to the platform to cut off some of her Godly Energy.

After defeating the monsters she left to guard the energy flowing into her, I absorbed from the pool of energy to stop the flow. The second fight, she ranted about how the first thing she'd do was destroy all chubby men! I wasn't going to have none of that so I sprang the traps on her!

Then we attacked and she ran away whining again!

The next platform was much the same, and so was the third. The final fight with Amellysan was the hardest by far! She kept casting protection spells AND summoning monsters to fight off! The last straw was when she told me she was going to enjoy making Sola her bitch!

You'd be surprised at the amount of pieces I cut her into after that

Then Solar appears and says the fight is over. Amellysan's head rolls to her and screams, "NOOO! I am a GOD! You cannot defeat me!"

To which Solar drop-kicked Amellysan's head into the abyss! Amellysan screamed she would have her vengeacne, but I doubt it.

Solar gave me a choice. Become a God, or a Mortal. I chose Mortal. What was I going to be, God of Murder? God of Lecherous Halflings? Naw, twould be better to roob the palace of the Queen that ordered a bounty on my head!

Chapter Ten: A Fond Farewell

So how does this halfling's story end? Well first let's see how his friends' stories end!

Solaufein: Eventually Jerr and he call it quits. Without Jerr by his side, Solaufein dies to some random over-powered party looking to kill him. However, as luck would have it the Drow is ressurected by Jaheira. They eventually hit it off, and marry.

Jaheira: After she marries Sola, she and he have a twins, a boy and girl. They still travel and adventure, just not as much since they have children. Jaheira is still trying to get Sola to stop brooding, though, and to stop making elf men look so womanly!

Aerie: Aerie ends up hitting it off with Viconia, oddly enough. They both move to Rasheman with Minsc and open a resturaunt. They're main reason for getting together, their hatred for Jaheira. They still plan on disposing of her but 99% likely they won't ever actually go through with it.

Minsc: After opening up the Resteraunt with Vic and Aer, Minsc soon gets bored and starts training the Rashemani Rangers on the proper care and feeding of hamsters.

Imoen: Imoen still continues to adventure with her brother, Jerr.

Nalia: Nalia eventually does get in a fight with Skie! At the Copper Coronet no less! Skie ends up dying when Nalia shoves a turkey leg down her throat. Nalia now teaches mage classes at the Temple of Ilmater in the Slums District of Athkatla.

Valygar: Valygar dyes his armor pink and marries Anomen at a grand ceremony held at The Order of the Radiant Heart.

Keldorn: Keldorn ends up going back home to his wife, for good this time.

Viconia: See Aerie.

Korgan: The dwarf ends up commenting on how he'd like to see Aerie, Viconia, and Mazzy bathing together one day when he and Mazzy were visiting Aerie and Viconia. A and V now have a nice new garden statue at their resturaunt.

Edwin: After being dropped off at Amkethran, Edwin got the wrong person mad and they had Saemon get him drunk and put the following items on the wizard: The Ring of Folly, the Ring of Clumsiness, The Bracers of Binding, and the Girdle of Gender-Bending. Edwina now roams the countryside drooling all over the place.

Cernd: Cernd's son grows into a rebellious teenager and starts and acting troupe dedicated to making Cernd look like a pansy fop in plays who recites bad poetry.

Sarevok: Sarevok ends up getting Cattie-Brie mad one day by pinching her butt. He's now missing an arm.

Jan: Jan eventually got Jaella back and started his own turnip business.

Haer'Dalis: Plays Cernd in Cernd's son's play

Mazzy: Helped Viconia distract Korgan while Aerie turned him into a statue. Then she started her own Order of the Radiant Heart for halflings.

Anomen: See Valygar.

As for me, I went on to commit many grand acts of Larceny until the day I ran into a more experienced Bondari Quickhand. We settled at my Keep after that, and annually commit one big larceny a year now!

Ending Stats:

Jerr Quickfoot
Neutral Good Male Halfling
Fighter(21)/Thief(25)

Str: 14 (22 with Belt)
Dex: 21 (I honestly don't know how I went from 20 to 21)
Con: 11
Int: 14
Wis: 14
Cha: 18

Proficiencies:
Short Sword: 2
Sling: 2
Sword and Shield Style: 2
Short Bow: 2
Dagger: 2

Equips: White Dragon Scale Armor, Sword of Mask, Fire Giant Belt, Ring of Gax, Ring of Fire Elemental Control, Cloak of Elvenkind, Shield of Harmony, Gauntlets of Extraordinary Specialization, Amulet of Power, Boots of Speed, Helm of Infravision, and Sling of Arvoreen

Side Notes: I couldn't defeat Amellysan in one-on-one fights like my Swashbuckler could. That disappointed me. I also reloaded the second fight nine times.

And despite being more powerful than my Swashbuckler's party (Same NPCs and Equips, but this partyhad higher levels), my Swashbuckler's Party never had anyone die in a fight with Amellysan.

Final group shot (Try to name everyone):

[shamrock_uk]

You certainly romped through BG2 at a fair pace! Thanks very much for sharing - I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

[Jerr Conner]

Originally posted by shamrock_uk: You certainly romped through BG2 at a fair pace! Thanks very much for sharing - I thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

Thanks!

[Klutz]

*APPLAUSE*

[Marty4]

I didn't read this until I beat ToB, so sorry for the late *applause*. Great writing, and great epilogues!

[Jerr Conner]

Thanks everyone!