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#1 |
Guest
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Ok, here goes, this is my first poem so beware, and please read it thrugh and give me some C&C at least.. thanks
Fly to the underworld my lord To you my life was sold my king but my hear is scolded by your death, it stings. -------------------------- Singing the ssong of horrors it puts my peers in pain captured them forever all my efforts in vain ---------------------------- Now i live a life of misery with the song o'demise flaws that show no wisery Omens that prove to be wise. --------------------------------- A king killed in battle, Hath gotten not a funeral Pinned on his own saddle he was spared not a second, nor an hour hath i not placed that flower his restless spirit would be back in the living to devour. ____________________________________________ |
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#2 |
Symbol of Moradin
![]() Join Date: June 5, 2002
Location: Slovenia,Ljubljana
Age: 37
Posts: 8,554
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Pretty nice lyrics! [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] Just keep working on that and you can be next Justin Timberlake!
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#3 |
Guest
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Heh.. thanks.. any way that i can improve it?
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#4 | |
Gold Dragon
![]() Join Date: May 19, 2002
Location: Blessed are those who are not....
Age: 44
Posts: 2,556
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Quote:
What did Spirits Forever do to you Xen? ![]() Nice writing SF, nice usage of old language [img]graemlins/thumbsup.gif[/img] And great historical atmosphere you create, which is important. You should post in the creative section too! </font>
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#5 |
Guest
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What creative section
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#6 |
Gold Dragon
![]() Join Date: May 19, 2002
Location: Blessed are those who are not....
Age: 44
Posts: 2,556
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