[Blunderbuss]

Originally posted by johnny: Santa Clause - Chris Cringle - St. Nicholas - Para Noel Are these the many names for an innocent old man who brings presents to children around the world...or are they the names of a serial holliday stalker - spying on your children? My evidence is as follows: The song "Santa Clause is Coming to Town" holds all the key evidence: "You better watch out" - That's a direct threat if I've ever seen one. "You better not cry" - Another threat "I'm telling you why" - Explanation of the threats "He's making a list, and checking it twice" - Has all his victims listed "Gonna’ find out who's naughty and nice" - Truly a sick individual "He sees you when you're sleeping" - Either through video surveillance or from his own eyes. Surveillance cameras have been found hidden in victims homes...we know they belong to him because they have tinsil wrapped around them - which seems to be his calling card. "He knows when you're awake" - Victims have claims of being followed by a older, fat man with a big white beard. "He knows if you've been bad or good" - A journal of the suspect was found containing detailed reports on his victims...this guy seems to enjoy commenting on everything the victim does throughout each day. "Santa Claus is coming to town" - Another threat, though is is encrypted, my sources tell me that his use of the word "town" actually means the victims home. So there you have it. The evidence is still coming in, but at this point, that's all I can reveal to the public. There have been no arrests so far; so all I can suggest is that everyone keeps their doors and windows locked and covered, buy a bug detector to check for any installed surveillance devices, and if you have a chimney, seal it off somehow!

Back on subject: I thought it was quite funny.