Hi bob, there are several possibilities for this problem, and I am sure there are some I don't know.
1) Though not stated in the book, it has been learned that the female NPC's will only be romantically involved with human and half elf characters. There may be one more elf possibliity, but that's about it. If you are anything else you can't have a romance.
2) If you had the basic romance dialogue initiated with Jaheira, and then took Viconia into your party, that often creates a romance conflict which sometimes stalls the romance.
3) A lot of people have complained that after they came back from the Underdark, they were unable to pursue any of the optional quests. This could pertain to initiating a romance this late in the game.
There may be a few more, but these are what I can remember. GL
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