Well I'm originally from a place called Middle Earth,but I doupt anyone has ever heard of it!
Anyway,there I was,sneekin' around in the depths below the Misty Mountains,when I stumbles on this portal.My curiosity got the better of me so through it I went and ended up here in this place the locals call England.Unfortunately,the portal was one-way,so now I'm stuck here without my precious!
On the bright side though,I began telling stories about my homeland to some old bloke with a pipe-who said he was a writer and wanted to publish my tales.Now I'm a bit of a celebrity,and with the royalties I'm gettin' off the book sales and the new movie adaptation,I'll soon have enough to forge me a new precious!
One good thing about this place though,no nasty stinkin' hobbits!
------------------
"It hurts us,it hurts us.It freezes,it bites!"