Ok, so here is the update. I was in a full right arm cast for TWENTY FIVE WEEKS, and the bone did not heal. Just my wonderful luck that the scaphoid bone in your hand is one of the hardest to heal due to a lack of good blood flow to it.
So.. They took my cast off in Oct? (I think..around there..) and gave me a Velcro temp cast I can remove when needed... the pain is the worst I have felt. it's like a knife stabbing into my lower palm (by my thumb). I'm right handed, so I cannot draw -- since Jan. no work, its really depressing me, as I am a graphics artist, and its my life. I remember saying if I ever lost my arm, that would be the end of me... lol
Well, we're not there yet.. I HAVE lost it a few times.. just discouraged, and then the Doc says since I smoke (I do, I know, its bad. I smoke less than a pack a day) she WILL NOT operate on my hand to due a bone graph. She says even then, there is a chance it won't 'take' and mend.. then there is fusing the bone to your wrist, which means I would have a locked wrist. (i.e. probably no more drawing,,) And if it comes to that, I don't think I want to live like that...
I am extremely strong willed, and have been through constant chronic back and left hip pain since 1995.. it's gotten worst as the years go on, but I deal with it.. then the side pain came... thinking it was Crohn's disease (my dad had it) but lets just say they checked me bottom to top with cameras inside..(But everything checked out fine)
but that side pain seems to flare up then go away for a few months then comes back.. really odd.. still, I deal.. (Pain meds since 1995..) HATE pills, but it gets me through most days well enough.
But the hand ordeal almost makes me feel cursed.. lol.. I dunno.. like I'm in a deep pit, and can't climb out, and its getting deeper and deeper... and I am losing hope. I am trying to stay strong, but its hard.. and on my Wife... without my freelance work, she has taken on nearly ALL the bills... And that makes me feel..like a burden...
So right now, ALL I can do is sit and watch TV, or play console games--can use a controller on a console due to hardly any hand movement, but I can't use a mouse for more that 20 mins before my hand starts throbbing.. still has slight swelling... (I am so BEYOND sick of watching TV. and dare I say playing console games.. same 3 over and over) lol... I just feel useless..
I am tapering down my cigs each week, and doing good so far. I GOTTA do it, not just because its for my hand surgery, but overall health!!! (Camel Wides)
I just wanted to let you know I have NOT given up on Ironworks. If and when I get my hand situation fixed, I have a YEARS worth of updating I already have planned on a paper here.
Sorry this is such a downer post. But I wanted to let you all know what is happening, and that things are really bad right now... I am trying to hold it together and not lose it.. it's super rare.. when you have 3 different pains attacking you though, it sure makes you feel....ya know.. but I won't do that.. Gotta keep hope, and think positive.. its all I got right now, and my AMAZING Wife that has put up helping me do stuff while in a cast!..
Gonna stop the post here, even typing hurts after just this post...
