Illumina!
Your first gift is a Time Machine. Yes go back to the past or visit the future! Your time machine looks like a giant grandfather clock. Just step inside it and dial the year inside and off you go! Note the time machine is limited to three uses, and each use only lasts for 24 hours, so make your selections with thought. Enjoy! Tell me how your trip was when you get back LOL!
Your second gift is a year's use of Cars for Stars' Limousine service. Yes travel in luxery about town for an entire year. Shock your co-workers and friends, make your enemies jealous! You also get a selection of 50 drivers of your choice - they have male models, male body builders, midgets, guys with tattoos, guys with a lot of hair, guys with no hair at all, oh the plethora! Pick one each day if that is your wish!
Next gift is a 1 month vacation trip to the Galopogos Islands! By Private Jet! Hurry while the wildlife is still there! See exotic fish! See exotic turtles! See... errr, exotic fish!
Look!
http://www.enter.net/~chuckmeier/galopogo.htm
Dunno what that white haired creature on the bottom line is, seems exotic (weird) though!
Oh and finally, my gag gift for you is.....20 Bacon Scented Air Fresheners. Yes smell bacon all day and all night all the time in your home, or in your car! Watch how popular you are to the local pets! Or local neighbors too! Its fun for all!