Quote:
Originally posted by SpiritWarrior:
Your mistake lies in not saying what is on your mind. This, she probably expects (even counts on) and abuses, thus the ongoing pattern. There is respect for your mother but there is also respect for yourself. I mean c'mon you're not gonna start throwing punches, you're just voiceing an already-voiced desire.
Like many have said, state it, make it clear and enforce it. After all, would you like it if your own kids couldn't bring themselves to tell you when something really bothered them?
|
Ouch. True point. It's much easier to avoid all this stuff (mom lives 2-3 hours away, depending on who's driving) than to deal with it. She also suffers from issues with self-respect, personal value, and other internal areas whereby actions on my part are used to perpetuate her myths that no one loves her, everyone hates her, and so on. I don't do well with the emotional side of that; for me, a problem needs to be resolved and moved on from. Of course, this one is sticking around for a bit, isn't it?
And I don't want my kids to grow up with this same schtick, so I'm going to have to work my way through it, to be able to give them pointers on doing the same thing. We'll see how it goes.
I am going to have to deal with it. I'm not quite sure the best way yet, but I've got more options to work with. Thanks to all for your thoughts and support.