[Evil Al]

Before I start this isn't about having a problem with the vertically challeged. That's a completly different matter, that I will not bring up here because I know I would offend Mojo "Too Short" Jojo Jnr.

I my problem is with young girls stalking me. I have no idea how it started but a young lass of the age 14 has taken an unnatural attraction towards me. Her and her little friend are forever calling round my house and phoning me. I have tried everything I can think of to make her go away. I tried explaining that she's too young for me in the nicest possible way, but she thought I was playng hard to get. I sent her a rather blunt email (very unchristian of me I know) but that also made her think i was playing hard to get. I thought it worked for a while but it turned out she was just out the country for 5 weeks and forgot about it by the time she got back. She turned up at my house and talked to her little friend on my door step for about 20 mins while I beat my head off the wall trying to think of ways to get her to go away. Then I went with "Well, I'm going out later with my friends that are all over the age of consent and I won't be put on the same list as Gary Gilitter if I just so happen to get off with one of them. I have to go get ready, BYE!" Then I closed the door, they knocked again but i didn't answer.

Later on that night I got a phone call from a nut case. I person that I know has from ADD. Generally from the amount of rubbish she speaks. I know for a fact she says she's Pagan but I, a Christian, know more about paganism than her. She also clams to be a Christian and a Devil worshiper and all that crap. You get the idea, she not right in the head. Anyways, she calls me to ask if i would go out with her sometime. I said "no" flatly. For some reason I felt bad about it, mainly cause I know that her mates are going to try and bully me into going out with her. Just how immature is that?

Another thing, all these girls seem to fancy me, Mojo and my mate Mark. Seriously, is disturbing, what can we do? Curse my pretty boy face! The joke is no longer "What has 500 legs and no pubic hair? The first 5 rows of a westlife concert." Its "What has 500 legs and no pubic hair? The girls that stalk Al, Joe and Mark!"

Does anyone else have this problem? More so, did anyone have this problem and how did you get rid of it?
Well, I'm going to turn the lights out and pretend I'm not at home and switch my moblie off.