[Bungleau]

Good advice thus far.

First point: Expand this beyond you and the supervisor. Include the HR department (very critical, and they will want to be involved, but beware: they care about the company, not you or the supervisor), and look to your supervisor's boss as well. Even though she is weak and won't apparently stand up, you can force the issue into their lap. And they will gladly toss it over to HR.

Second: Unless it's truly unbearable, keep what you have while you look for something else. Do you have any kind of non-compete agreement in place? If not, who are your competitors? Time to contact them.... but be aware that they may have connections where you are. Word will get out, sooner or later.

Third: Hard question: Can you deal with your supervisor like a client on the phone? Acknowledge her issues, and in a grown-up fashion, ask her to document, address, and resolve whatever she wants to see differently and why. My favorite line from "Night at the Museum": Who's evolved? Who is evolved? Let it be you.

Fourth: Documenting is important. If she doesn't know what she's doing, the documentation will make her look bad, and she will resist. Tough luck; you document from your side, then when push comes to shove, it will be your documentation against her word. She'll be hard-pressed to "win". Also, should this grow to a hostile work environment situation, you may have legal remedies, and your documentation will be beneficial.

Fifth: Deploy the Eddie Haskell rule. For those who don't remember Leave it to Beaver, Eddie was the kid who was fantastic and wonderful when adults were around, but an utter jerk when they weren't. At work, be on your best behavior. She may just be looking for excuses to write you up.

Sixth, and finally answering your question: You've got a couple of different approaches you can try. You can go for:

1. Alpha stay. "I felt that it was unprofessional and inappropriate for you to yell at me about that, particularly when from what I could see, my actions were legally correct. In the future, if you have questions or concerns, I request that you discuss them with me privately, not publicly. With respect to this issue, I request that you document what you believe I did wrong and why so that I and others may learn from it. If you are unwilling to do that, then we need to work on how I'm going to leave."

Alpha leave. "I felt that it was unprofessional and inappropriate for you to yell at me about that, particularly when from what I could see, my actions were legally correct. I've thought about it, and I don't believe that I can continue in such an unprofessional environment. I may consider transferring to a different department, but I will not be staying in this department."

Beta stay. "I got frustrated because I thought I was doing the right thing from a legal perspective. I let that frustration out, which was unprofessional of me. I will work on that, and with respect to this issue and similar ones, I would like your help in documenting exactly what and how these kinds of situations should be handled in the future."

Beta leave. "I got frustrated because I thought I was doing the right thing from a legal perspective. I let that frustration out, which was unprofessional of me. After thinking about this, I've concluded that I can't contintue to work in this environment, and will seek either a transfer to another department or employment elsewhere."


I originally wrote "Wussy stay" instead of "Beta stay", but the idea is the same... a non-alpha position where you allow her to remain alpha. I don't know if that would work for me... probably not for long... but it would give me time to find my next job.

Good luck, amigo...