[Harkoliar]

as usual i got this from the email and this would be great for a couple of good laughs.. go ahead and read on

>WHY TEACHERS GO CRAZY
>TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?
> STUDENT: Seven.
>TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday?
> STUDENT: Nine.
> TEACHER: That's impossible.
> STUDENT: No, it isn't, Teacher. I'm eight today.
> ----------------------------------------------------
>
>SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum?
>BILLY : No, I'm Billy Anderson.
>----------------------------------------------------
>
> TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave?
> STUDENT: Yes, Sir.
> TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't?
>STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to
>keep yours.
>----------------------------------------------------
>TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
>TOMMY : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
> ----------------------------------------------------
>HAROLD : Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do?
> TEACHER : Of course not.
>HAROLD : Good, because I didn't do my homework.
>----------------------------------------------------
>
>TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
>JOHN : I hope you didn't either.
> ----------------------------------------------------
>
>GARY : I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.
>TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you.
> ----------------------------------------------------
>
> MOTHER : Why did you get such a low mark on that test?
>JUNIOR : Because of absence.
>MOTHER : You mean you were absent on the day of the test?
>JUNIOR : No, but the kid who sits next to me was.
> ----------------------------------------------------
>
> SILVIA : Dad, can you write in the dark?
> FATHER : I think so. What do you want me to write?
> SYLVIA : Your name on this report card.
> ----------------------------------------------------
> TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
> FATHER : What's that?
>TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.
> ----------------------------------------------------
>
> TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
> SAMMY : You can't fool me, Teacher... snakes don't have feet.
> ----------------------------------------------------
>
>TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
> ELLEN : I is...
>TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
> ELLEN : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
> ----------------------------------------------------
>
>BOY : Isn't the principal a dummy!
>GIRL: Say, do you know who I am?
>BOY : No.
>GIRL: I'm the principal's daughter.
>BOY : And do you know who I am?
>GIRL: No.
>BOY : Thank goodness!