[Rokenn]

Fahnestock’s Rule for Failure:
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Zymurgy’s Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics:
Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a larger can.

Kaiser’s comment on Zymurgy:
Never open a can of worms unless you plan to go fishing.

Schopenhauer’s Law of Entropy:
If you put a spoonful of wine in a barrel full of sewage, you get sewage.
If you put a spoonful of sewage in a barrel full of wine, you get sewage.

Young’s Law of Inanimate Mobility:
All inanimate objects can move just enough to get in your way.

Courtois’ Rule:
If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk less.

Kennedy’s Comment on Committees:
A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.

The First Law of Military Spending:
Why buy one multi-billion-dollar machine, when you can have two for twice the price?

Bitton’s Postulate on State-of-the-Art Electronics:
If you understand it, it’s obsolete.

Felson’s Law:
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism;
to steal from many is research.

Grandpa Charnock’s Law:
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Kirkegaard’s Observation:
Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.

Demotivators

ADVERSITY
That which Does Not Kill Me Postpones the Inevitable.

APATHY
If We Don’t Take Care of the Customer, Maybe They’ll Stop Bugging Us.

BLAME
The Secret To Success Is Knowing Who To Blame For Your Failures.

CLUELESSNESS
There Are No Stupid Questions, But There Are A Lot Of Inquisitive Idiots.

DEFEAT
For Every Winner, There Are Dozens Of Losers. Odds Are You’re One Of Them.

DESPAIR
It’s Always Darkest just Before it goes Pitch Black.

DYSFUNCTION
The Only Consistent Feature Of All Of Your Dissatisfying Relationships Is You.

FAILURE
When Your Best Just Isn’t Good Enough.

IDIOCY
Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups.

IGNORANCE
It’s Amazing How Much Easier It Is For A Team To Work Together When No One Has Any Idea Where They’re Going.

INCOMPETENCE
When You Earnestly Believe You Can Compensate For A Lack Of Skill By Doubling Your Efforts, There’s No End To What You Can’t Do.

INEPTITUDE
If You Can’t Learn To Do Something Well, Learn to Enjoy Doing It Poorly.

MEDIOCRITY
It Takes a Lot Less Time and Most People Won’t Notice the Difference Until It’s Too Late.

MISTAKES
It Could Be that the Purpose of Your Life Is Only to Serve as a Warning to Others.

PESSIMISM
Every Dark Cloud Has a Silver Lining, but Lightning Kills Hundreds of People Each Year Who Are Trying to Find It.

PROBLEMS
No Matter how Great and Destructive your Problems May Seem Now, Remember, You’ve Probably only Seen the Tip of Them.

PROCRASTINATION
Hard Work Often Pays Off After Time, but Laziness Always Pays Off Now.

STUPIDITY
Quitters Never Win, Winners Never Quit, But Those Who Never Win AND Never Quit Are Idiots.

UNDERACHIEVMENT
The Tallest Blade Of Grass Is The First To Be Cut By The Lawnmower.