[Donut]

I spent some time browsing the IW directory today. There I am, with my proud Iron Throne Cult sitting snugly between Dontpanic, who may be male or female and lives in Couer d’alene in Idaho and Doobie, a student from Canada. Dontpanic never posted and Doobie only posted three times – all in NWN.

I mused on the opportunities that I would never get to chat to my two neighbours. I would love to ask Dontpanic if he had any worries in life and ask about his interestingly named hometown. I’ll never know if Doobie smoked or if he had any brothers and does he like to Listen to the Music

Searching further I found that there are over 300 pages of members who have never posted a single post. That’s over 6000 IW virgins. There are some important questions that I will never get the answer to!

I’d love to ask Bogie and Booger why they picked their names! Or why does AMDAthlon from Chicago walk around with such a chip on his shoulder. I would ask arsenal, a London mortgage broker if he wanted to meet my backward brother lanesra! Did Can from Turkey ever do! Does The Conspiracy have any theories about that? Did u9u9u9 ever cure that stutter? What’s that in Glint’s eye? Is J related to J.J, MorganJ, LexyJ or JohnJ or even to JP. Who is MinscsOtherFriend? Or Lucien’s Other Lover? Is Crate great? I would love to know if Solipsist truly knows me. Is Petrie female – and if she is, is she a dish!? And is Mustard hot. Likewise – are cerebus105, canis and K9 dogs? And would they like bone? Does Nikki like nookie? Is dozzz one Ukranian or is he two spaniards?

Is Thanatos a child of the night? Does Boo Radley wish he was skinny (I wouldn’t ask biggsperm or BigBoi16 anything! ) Are Felix & Felicity truly happy together? Does Frase, a German schoolboy know any well known sayings, does he know Daphne?

More to the point is DragonQueen, who lists her location as 31 Glebe Road Hayes Middlesex UB3 2EB UK, completely insame. Is EXCALIBR looking for U? Does elnino have wind? Why does Narcissus think so much of himself?

Why is Sy always sad and Azure always blue? Does aimhigh have aspirations in life, and could he ever reach Skye – does Skye know her limits, and come to think of it she’s often blue! Will Tummy ever rumble? Is Grayle religious? And what does simbul stand for? What planet is Saturn on? Can IndyPendant look after himself? Is it the end for Suicidal? Is Elvis still alive? Is possum really dead – or just playing? Is Telemaktar still making those cold calls? Is gneiss really my sister’s daughter? Is there another side to Trangula and if there is does that make him a square?

Does Goalie 10 have any savings? Is Sin deadly? Why is Aulando in Arizona and not Florida? Does pingo know Ringo, and does Ringo know The Kid? Does Ringo know Paul, john and George?

Does Artemys still go hunting? Is Woody still a hard man? Will Rabbi ever talk to Parson and will either ever talk to Cleric? Does fortytwo have the final answer? What does Jack_Bauer do with himself all day? Did Brzenczyszczyk ever win that game of Scrabble?

What is the connection between Skinner & Tanner? Was Cardiac55 arrested? Will temporary hang around? Isn’t it time that ChainSmoker gave up? Is Krazy mad, is MC hammered? Does Dreamer know Nightmare?

So many unanswered questions. I can answer the one question that you’ve been asking yourself whilst reading this:

Yes, Donut does have too much spare tim on his hands!!