Ironworks Gaming Forum - View Single Post - Paging Father Bronze (& any who have graded papers at any level will like)

Sazerac · 12-20-2002, 03:35 PM

I had seen this once already in e-mail, but it *is* hilarious! Thanks for sharing, J.J.! And yes, I've seen some "beauts" come across my desk during my career as a teacher.

You know, I have no idea where Father Bronze is; I haven't seen him in ages. Pity, too; he was a great poster and an asset to this place.

The absolute living end I've ever seen was my college speech class. I was taking the class, obviously, with a bunch of whackos. (I've found, since then, that they no longer require business majors to take the same speech class that the Liberal Arts majors take at that college; wish it had been that way when I was enrolled.

). The worst thing of all was that we could NOT laugh under ANY circumstances at a person's speech, or else risk getting an "F" for our grade.

The one speech that stands out in my mind that about made me rupture a lung trying to hold back from laughing was from this dizty girl that was making a "persuasive" speech. I'm going to relay it to you as best as I remember. Her speech was on Lenin's grave being in Moscow, and how terrible a thing this was that such a peace-loving advocate of human rights such as Lenin would be buried in Moscow, the center of the "Evil Empire" of the world. (This was back in 1982 during the beginning of the Reagan Administration here and the whole Grenada thing was going big-time). Well, we all were staring at her like she was nuts, because she just kept on going on and on and on and on about what a travesty this was about Lenin being in Moscow, and what a wonderful person he was, until she brought forth her final summary:

"...and that is why we need to stand up and demand that John Lennon's body be returned to England, or to New York, and be properly buried in his homeland and not in the center of the Communist Empire!"

I bit down on my tongue so hard I drew blood, and somehow managed not to make a sound other than a muffled "mmphhfrg!" Others in the class weren't so lucky...they guffawed and got their "F" for the day dutifully.

What an IDIOT!!! And it wasn't a joke, the stupid git was SERIOUS! How anyone could confuse John Lennon the Beatle with Vladmir Lenin the father of Russian Communism... well, 'nuff said.

If it had only been her, it would have been fine. But over half the class' speeches were like that. During a "how-to" speech, one of the class members got up and told how to test the quality of a bag of cocaine. Another member told during the descriptive speech portion how every day when she went out to get her mail, "there be these two snakes nex' to the mailbox, an' they chases me back all the way to my front door, and I ha'nt been able to get my mail out for two weeks because of these two snakes that keeps chasing me."

I swear, I think half that class WAS on drugs. [img]graemlins/saywhat.gif[/img]

I've never taken another speech class since, and haven't regretted it.

Cheers,
-Sazerac

12-20-2002, 03:35 PM	#4
Sazerac Ironworks Moderator Join Date: January 7, 2001 Location: Monroe, LA Age: 60 Posts: 7,387	I had seen this once already in e-mail, but it is hilarious! Thanks for sharing, J.J.! And yes, I've seen some "beauts" come across my desk during my career as a teacher. You know, I have no idea where Father Bronze is; I haven't seen him in ages. Pity, too; he was a great poster and an asset to this place. The absolute living end I've ever seen was my college speech class. I was taking the class, obviously, with a bunch of whackos. (I've found, since then, that they no longer require business majors to take the same speech class that the Liberal Arts majors take at that college; wish it had been that way when I was enrolled. ). The worst thing of all was that we could NOT laugh under ANY circumstances at a person's speech, or else risk getting an "F" for our grade. The one speech that stands out in my mind that about made me rupture a lung trying to hold back from laughing was from this dizty girl that was making a "persuasive" speech. I'm going to relay it to you as best as I remember. Her speech was on Lenin's grave being in Moscow, and how terrible a thing this was that such a peace-loving advocate of human rights such as Lenin would be buried in Moscow, the center of the "Evil Empire" of the world. (This was back in 1982 during the beginning of the Reagan Administration here and the whole Grenada thing was going big-time). Well, we all were staring at her like she was nuts, because she just kept on going on and on and on and on about what a travesty this was about Lenin being in Moscow, and what a wonderful person he was, until she brought forth her final summary: "...and that is why we need to stand up and demand that John Lennon's body be returned to England, or to New York, and be properly buried in his homeland and not in the center of the Communist Empire!" I bit down on my tongue so hard I drew blood, and somehow managed not to make a sound other than a muffled "mmphhfrg!" Others in the class weren't so lucky...they guffawed and got their "F" for the day dutifully. What an IDIOT!!! And it wasn't a joke, the stupid git was SERIOUS! How anyone could confuse John Lennon the Beatle with Vladmir Lenin the father of Russian Communism... well, 'nuff said. If it had only been her, it would have been fine. But over half the class' speeches were like that. During a "how-to" speech, one of the class members got up and told how to test the quality of a bag of cocaine. Another member told during the descriptive speech portion how every day when she went out to get her mail, "there be these two snakes nex' to the mailbox, an' they chases me back all the way to my front door, and I ha'nt been able to get my mail out for two weeks because of these two snakes that keeps chasing me." I swear, I think half that class WAS on drugs. [img]graemlins/saywhat.gif[/img] I've never taken another speech class since, and haven't regretted it. Cheers, -Sazerac __________________ "And all my days are trances, and all my nightly dreams, Are where thy grey eye glances, and where thy footstep gleams, In what ethereal dances, by what eternal streams..."