Thread: tips please!
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Old 12-08-2001, 07:59 PM   #2
Aelia Jusa
Iron Throne Cult
 
Tetris Champion
Join Date: August 23, 2001
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Age: 36
Posts: 4,867
*hugs* I'm sure you meant well [img]smile.gif[/img]

Although it's true that sometimes people, especially close friends do just want someone to listen to them. Sometimes it's enough that someone hears them and understands what they're saying. Sometimes giving advice isn't helpful - they don't want to know what they can do, they just want to know you're there and you're listening.

Good ways of making sure she knows you're listening and you're interested without preaching to her are to ask questions, ask for clarification, summarise things she's said so she knows you understand, and if you don't she can explain her feelings another way. Don't give unsolicited advice, just show her you know what she's saying and feeling. It's hard not to give advice, especially when it's someone you care about and you want to help them, but sometimes just listening is what they need, though just listening can be far harder to do

I hope things work out for you [img]smile.gif[/img]
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