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Charean · 03-31-2001, 07:32 AM

I bought a set of Ginzu knives for only three easy payments of $29.95
and they came with a lifetime guarantee. When the handles fell off, I
returned the knives with my lifetime guarantee asking for a refund.

They wrote back saying, "The guarantee was for the lifetime of the
knives. Obviously, the knives are dead, so the guarantee is no longer
valid."
______________________________

Judge Jerry Buchmeyer of the US District Court for the Northern District of Texas writes a monthly article for the Texas Bar Journal. Often, he cites unusual exchanges between lawyers and witnesses during trials.

The following true exchange says it all:

Lawyer: "So, Doctor, you determined that a gunshot wound was the cause of death of the patient?"

Doctor: "That's correct."

Lawyer: "Did you examine the patient when he came to the emergency room?"

Doctor: "No, I performed the autopsy."

Lawyer: "OK, were you aware of his vital signs when he was at the hospital?"

Doctor: "He came into the emergency room in shock and died a short time later."

Lawyer: "Did you pronounce him dead at that time?"

Doctor: "No, I am the pathologist who performed the autopsy. I was not involved with the patient initially."

Lawyer: "Well, are you even sure then, that he died in the emergency room."

Doctor: "That is what the records indicate."

Lawyer: "But if you weren't there, how could you have pronounced him dead, having not seen or physically examined the patient at that time?"

Doctor: "The autopsy showed massive hemorraging in the chest area and that was the cause of death."

Lawyer: "I understand that, but you were not actually present to examine the patient and pronounce him dead, isn't that right?"

Doctor: "No, sir, I did not see the patient or actually pronounce him dead, but I did perform an autopsy and right now his brain is in a jar over at the county morgue. As for the rest of the patient, for all I know, HE COULD BE OUT PRACTICING LAW SOMEWHERE!!"

03-31-2001, 07:32 AM	#102
Charean Hathor Join Date: March 6, 2001 Location: Waxahachie, TX Age: 60 Posts: 2,201	I bought a set of Ginzu knives for only three easy payments of $29.95 and they came with a lifetime guarantee. When the handles fell off, I returned the knives with my lifetime guarantee asking for a refund. They wrote back saying, "The guarantee was for the lifetime of the knives. Obviously, the knives are dead, so the guarantee is no longer valid." ______________________________ Judge Jerry Buchmeyer of the US District Court for the Northern District of Texas writes a monthly article for the Texas Bar Journal. Often, he cites unusual exchanges between lawyers and witnesses during trials. The following true exchange says it all: Lawyer: "So, Doctor, you determined that a gunshot wound was the cause of death of the patient?" Doctor: "That's correct." Lawyer: "Did you examine the patient when he came to the emergency room?" Doctor: "No, I performed the autopsy." Lawyer: "OK, were you aware of his vital signs when he was at the hospital?" Doctor: "He came into the emergency room in shock and died a short time later." Lawyer: "Did you pronounce him dead at that time?" Doctor: "No, I am the pathologist who performed the autopsy. I was not involved with the patient initially." Lawyer: "Well, are you even sure then, that he died in the emergency room." Doctor: "That is what the records indicate." Lawyer: "But if you weren't there, how could you have pronounced him dead, having not seen or physically examined the patient at that time?" Doctor: "The autopsy showed massive hemorraging in the chest area and that was the cause of death." Lawyer: "I understand that, but you were not actually present to examine the patient and pronounce him dead, isn't that right?" Doctor: "No, sir, I did not see the patient or actually pronounce him dead, but I did perform an autopsy and right now his brain is in a jar over at the county morgue. As for the rest of the patient, for all I know, HE COULD BE OUT PRACTICING LAW SOMEWHERE!!"