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Lady Sedai · 12-20-2004, 11:26 AM

Stormy, I truly regret hearing of your situation.

I know how it is, personally...been there, dealt with that.

The best advice has already been given, so I won't repeat them, but I *will* stress strongly how you have to come to a point where you realize your "true" family are not always those you are blood-relatives of. Your family are coyote, your kids, your friends and other family members who *accept you as you are*! [img]smile.gif[/img]

When you realize how fruitless and even unhealthy it can be to try and "make someone love you" or try to make them acknowledge they've got you all wrong, it will be easier on you. Their hangups are their OWN and you shouldn't make what "they" think of you affect your self-image or self-esteem. You know who you are really and how valuable you are as a person and those who are your *true* family know this as well. Let those people (the ones who love and accept you) be the ones who you look to as your support.

I went through this with my own grandmother and with my father. My father and I managed to reconcile things before he passed because *he* finally got psychological help for his PTSD. But when my grandmother died, I didn't even care. I shed not one tear. She was a miserable, mean-spirited woman who never had anything nice to say about anyone and would turn family members against each other just so *she* would feel in control. She frequently claimed that she wished her daughter (her youngest child of 5) was never born!...to her face!! The best I can say is that I pitied her. Anyone who was such a miserable person to others had to be abhorrently wretched inside.

You do what *you* know is best and what makes *you* feel the most comfortable and don't worry about what anyone else thinks about it. But don't regret the outcome if your grandmother doesn't see "the error of her ways". We can hope, but don't count on it. Just remember that HER hangups are HER problem. Don't make them yours.

All the best, dear.

*hug* [img]smile.gif[/img]

Edit: Oops! I ranted again, didn't I? *blushes*

[ 12-20-2004, 11:37 AM: Message edited by: Lady Sedai ]

12-20-2004, 11:26 AM	#15
Lady Sedai Banned User Join Date: May 21, 2004 Location: Hiram\'s lap Age: 55 Posts: 334	Stormy, I truly regret hearing of your situation. I know how it is, personally...been there, dealt with that. The best advice has already been given, so I won't repeat them, but I will stress strongly how you have to come to a point where you realize your "true" family are not always those you are blood-relatives of. Your family are coyote, your kids, your friends and other family members who accept you as you are! [img]smile.gif[/img] When you realize how fruitless and even unhealthy it can be to try and "make someone love you" or try to make them acknowledge they've got you all wrong, it will be easier on you. Their hangups are their OWN and you shouldn't make what "they" think of you affect your self-image or self-esteem. You know who you are really and how valuable you are as a person and those who are your true family know this as well. Let those people (the ones who love and accept you) be the ones who you look to as your support. I went through this with my own grandmother and with my father. My father and I managed to reconcile things before he passed because he finally got psychological help for his PTSD. But when my grandmother died, I didn't even care. I shed not one tear. She was a miserable, mean-spirited woman who never had anything nice to say about anyone and would turn family members against each other just so she would feel in control. She frequently claimed that she wished her daughter (her youngest child of 5) was never born!...to her face!! The best I can say is that I pitied her. Anyone who was such a miserable person to others had to be abhorrently wretched inside. You do what you know is best and what makes you feel the most comfortable and don't worry about what anyone else thinks about it. But don't regret the outcome if your grandmother doesn't see "the error of her ways". We can hope, but don't count on it. Just remember that HER hangups are HER problem. Don't make them yours. All the best, dear. hug [img]smile.gif[/img] Edit: Oops! I ranted again, didn't I? blushes [ 12-20-2004, 11:37 AM: Message edited by: Lady Sedai ]