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onthepequod · 05-09-2001, 08:21 PM

On the way home tonight I stopped by HomeDepot and "GOT ME A BOARD."

It wuz a purty board an I wuz gunna do some uv that wood cuttin stuff ol' Normy does on PBS.

Then, out of the blue, my wife yells down to my shop; "honey could you come here and do a favor for me?" Being the dutiful husband I like to think that I am, I answered; "absolutely!"

She then advised me the project would take 5 to 10 minutes. This didn't shake my resolve in the least and I said; "that's alright."

When I reached the living room, where my pregnant wife was reclining, she asked (with big eyelashes batting over her big green eyes); "would you please paint my toenails?" Without skipping a beat I answered; "huh?!?"

For those of you who are unaware, there comes a point during pregnancy when women can no longer reach their feet.

At this point I realized all was not a total loss an told her; "I would be happy to paint your toenails."

However, my wife, who obviously knows me too well, said; "You can't play around. No drawing pictures on my toes. And you must stay on the toenail." Now all was a total loss.

So I painted her nails to the best of my ability, which is somewhere near median grade school quality.

Well, at least I still had my board. But as I headed back to my shop, with my tattered manly dignity barely intact, she said; "could you do one more favor before you go downstairs?"

At this point I made a rookie move and turned to look at her as I answered. And there she was, still reclined, looking pregnant and helpless, with eyelashes batting. At this point I took my dignity firmly in hand and told her exactly what she could do with her requests. "Sure." I answered.

"Would you please put lavender lotion and rose scented talcum powder on my feet?" she asked.

So I did as she requested and prepared her feet, as close to her specifications as I am capable, for her night out at a baby shower.

BTW, guys did you know that applying talcum powder, before lotion is dry, produces a paste that is not easily removed? I didn't. Do now!

To make a long story short, my manly dignity is no longer in tact and I am about ready to bequeath my shop tools and machinery to someone more worthy.

My humiliation runs deep!

[This message has been edited by onthepequod (edited 05-09-2001).]

05-09-2001, 08:21 PM	#1
onthepequod Quintesson Join Date: April 6, 2001 Location: two leagues down Posts: 1,081	On the way home tonight I stopped by HomeDepot and "GOT ME A BOARD." It wuz a purty board an I wuz gunna do some uv that wood cuttin stuff ol' Normy does on PBS. Then, out of the blue, my wife yells down to my shop; "honey could you come here and do a favor for me?" Being the dutiful husband I like to think that I am, I answered; "absolutely!" She then advised me the project would take 5 to 10 minutes. This didn't shake my resolve in the least and I said; "that's alright." When I reached the living room, where my pregnant wife was reclining, she asked (with big eyelashes batting over her big green eyes); "would you please paint my toenails?" Without skipping a beat I answered; "huh?!?" For those of you who are unaware, there comes a point during pregnancy when women can no longer reach their feet. At this point I realized all was not a total loss an told her; "I would be happy to paint your toenails." However, my wife, who obviously knows me too well, said; "You can't play around. No drawing pictures on my toes. And you must stay on the toenail." Now all was a total loss. So I painted her nails to the best of my ability, which is somewhere near median grade school quality. Well, at least I still had my board. But as I headed back to my shop, with my tattered manly dignity barely intact, she said; "could you do one more favor before you go downstairs?" At this point I made a rookie move and turned to look at her as I answered. And there she was, still reclined, looking pregnant and helpless, with eyelashes batting. At this point I took my dignity firmly in hand and told her exactly what she could do with her requests. "Sure." I answered. "Would you please put lavender lotion and rose scented talcum powder on my feet?" she asked. So I did as she requested and prepared her feet, as close to her specifications as I am capable, for her night out at a baby shower. BTW, guys did you know that applying talcum powder, before lotion is dry, produces a paste that is not easily removed? I didn't. Do now! To make a long story short, my manly dignity is no longer in tact and I am about ready to bequeath my shop tools and machinery to someone more worthy. My humiliation runs deep! [This message has been edited by onthepequod (edited 05-09-2001).]