It sounds like you're doing it right...be hiding in shadows before the enemy sees that character, walk behind them, choose attack. That's how I backstab. You know for sure that you're hiding in shadows, right? It SAYS SO in the message window? If an enemy sees you before you hide in shadows successfully, you obviously can't sneak up behind them & backstab. I'm not 100% positive if you HAVE to be standing behind them...I don't think you can be standing directly in front of them...
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