"Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?"
"Yes. What can I do for you?"
"I'm calling to report about my neighbor Virgil Smith. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!"
"Thank you very much for the call, sir."
The next day, the Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.
The phone rings at Virgil's house. "Hey, Virgil! This here is Floyd. Did the Sheriff come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood?"
"Yep."
"Happy Birthday, buddy!" (Who says rednecks aren't real bright!)
