Yes well, I usually don't go into the whole true-untrue debate (oh wait, that's black metal, right?
) What I mean is that I am tired of having to categorise everything so exactly - it usually means that anything more recent than 80s is not 'true' metal/goth whatever.
I see what you mean though, and no, it's not the Bauhaus type goth that's trendy, it's mostly gothic-metal (there we go with the pigeonholing again...). But anyway, whether or not you want to call Tool or Korn metal, the fact remains that heavier music is popular these days. And yes, it's probably also true that metal fans are more easily attracted to D&D than house-freaks.
And as for goth parties - where I live, there are still many of the 'older crowd' of goths around - it all mixes quite nicely. Personally I enjoy The Mission or Fields as much as some of the modern bands, and while there is a bit of a distinction between the older goths and the teeny goth/metal fans, they both visit the same parties without too much trouble, LOL!